(In order of appearance)
LISA (Gina DeVettori)
Self serving and narcissistic, Lisa is
the type of woman that can get
away with doing whatever she
wants simply because she is
The Lisas of the world have a
completely myopic view of
themselves. They only think about
what they need and what they need
As a guy, the temptation is to just go with it because hey, look at that piece of ass you are getting…I
dated a “Lisa” once. We broke up and I had this dream. I had a dream that I was in an insane asylum
and was being led around by this security guard. He directed me to a guy in a padded room mumbling
the words "Lisa...Lisa" quietly to himself...
I asked what the guy's problem was and the guard said “He dated a girl named Lisa…She broke his
heart.” I was then led to another room and was shown a guy in a strait jacket rocking back and forth
saying “Lisa…Lisa…Lisa”. The guard looked at him and said “Same deal. He dated a girl named
Lisa…She broke his heart.”
Then the guard led me to another padded room at the end of the hall. Inside there was a guy in a strait
jacket slamming his head against the wall screaming “LISA! LISA! LISA!”
“What’s the deal with him?” I asked.
“He married Lisa.”
BETH (Stuart Brazell) -
Beth is the kind of woman every
intelligent and more discerning man
dreams of. Why? Because she
realizes we men are nuts.
She accepts us for who we are,
warts and all. She’s loyal and stands
with her man through good and bad.
She does not put him through hoops
and actually realizes that men have
She does represent a challenge for Rufus, however. Her love won't come easy.
Stella (Elizabeth DiPrinzio) -
Spending years working in an
emergency room in Oakland I became
familiar with the term “baby’s daddy.” It
is a label a few steps beneath “ex-
boyfriend”. Stella is a satire on the single
mom with the ghetto brat-titude. This
was a bit tricky to write as it is hard to
satirize someone who may be
considered a sympathetic figure in some
Her motto is "Making babies is fun. But doing the hokey pokey is not what its all about."
Hannah (Jill Evyn Deutsch) -
Hannah was originally supposed to be a
hypocritical religious type. In hindsight,
there is a part of me that wishes I had
gone this route given the recent
revelations on beauty queen Carrie
Prejean. It would have been a classic
case of art of imitating life. Hannah
instead symbolizes the post modern
chick who abbreviates and shortens
everything she says and does...She is a
spoof of a nymphomaniac with
Glenda (Sara Konecky) -
Glenda is the kind of woman who is
constantly looking for that "purple liquid"
that makes everything okay. The "purple
liquid" being that magical potion that may
be found in psych meds, massage therapy,
psychotherapy, aromatherapy or whatever
new age method is now in vogue.
The trap with her is that she comes across
as a nice and spiritual person. She gets
people to put their guard down.
Lorraine (Natalie Edwards) -
Lorraine is a cartoonish take on the
1980s career woman. Lorraine’s
attitude is very in your face and is over
the top in the need to out do her male
counterpart. In short, Lorraine is a
macho man in a skirt.
But she is willing to take on men in
their own arena, Her motto is "I will
kick your ass. It is in my DNA."
Just don't say anything remotely insulting to her. If you do, you'll notice her eyeballs popping out at
you...Then her gaze narrows...Her upper lip curls. A violent facial twitch can be noticeable on both
cheeks. When the barking and howling starts, you better start running...