If you thought the Amityville Horror franchise had explored every inch of its haunted, decrepit floorboards, I’m here to tell you—you were sadly, sadly mistaken. Amityville: Evil Never Dies, also known by its much more tantalizing (read: confusing) title, Amityville Clownhouse, is the kind of movie that makes you wonder if the franchise has turned into a haunted junk drawer, where the ghosts of better ideas go to rot.
Directed by Dustin Ferguson, this 2017 disasterpiece is the nineteenth film inspired by Jay Anson’s 1977 novel, The Amityville Horror. The plot, loosely inspired by reality (or at least by some unholy fever dream), introduces the terrifying concept of a cursed cymbal-banging monkey toy from 112 Ocean Avenue. That’s right: a monkey toy. I mean, how else would you keep the Amityville legacy going after forty-odd years? Add in some clowns, a dysfunctional family, and a lot of unnecessary violence, and you’ve got yourself a film so ridiculous it could only have been made in a haunted house of bad decisions.
Plot: Clowns, Cymbals, and… Monkeys? What Even Is This Movie?
The movie opens with Senator Ty Pangborn, a Rhode Island politician who—bless his heart—couldn’t even survive one family dinner without deciding it was time for a mass murder. After acquiring a clown painting (that definitely has its roots in the infamous 112 Ocean Avenue), Ty goes on a killing spree during his son’s birthday party, before finishing it all off with the most “not funny” line in the history of tragic one-liners: “This isn’t funny.”
From here, we plunge headfirst into a story of cursed objects, evil spirits, and a monkey toy with a bloodlust that rivals that of the worst sitcom characters you can imagine. The object’s supernatural powers begin to wreak havoc on the lives of Ben and Michelle, a couple from Nebraska, after they purchase the toy from an antique shop. Naturally, this leads to nightmares, disturbing behavior, and the kind of reality distortion you’d expect from someone who just realized their monkey is possessed by the spirit of evil.
But things take a darker turn when the movie tries to go full psychological horror, using the monkey to convince Ben to abuse his wife—because, of course, the best way to move forward in a movie about a haunted toy is to make sure that its human victims are also terrible people. But don’t worry, Amityville: Evil Never Dies gives us the twisted satisfaction of seeing the monkey get shot, but, in true Amityville fashion, the evil toy can’t be kept down. It reassembles itself and keeps coming back for more.
And, just when you think the clown-themed horror is done, we get a classic Amityville twist—a “theatre full of people that’s possessed” (which, if we’re being honest, sounds more like a bad night out at the movies rather than a terrifying plot point). By the end, it’s as if the filmmakers just picked every overused horror trope, threw them into a blender, and hoped something vaguely terrifying would come out. Spoiler alert: it didn’t.
Characters: Do You Care About Them? Neither Do We.
The characters are thinly drawn, one-dimensional mannequins who do little but move from one horror set piece to the next, all while being pursued by the ghostly specter of a cymbal-banging monkey. Ben and Michelle, played by Ben Gothier and Michelle Muir-Lewis, have about as much chemistry as a damp napkin, with Ben’s “character arc” consisting of acting like a jerk to his wife (thanks, evil monkey), while Michelle’s “arc” is summed up by her throwing the toy away and then immediately getting terrorized by it again. Because, apparently, that’s what you do in Amityville—play fetch with the demon you just can’t quit.
Let’s talk about Ty Pangborn, the “senator” who starts the film off by murdering his entire family. One can only assume the filmmakers wanted us to feel some sympathy for him, but we quickly realize he’s just another tool in the horror toolbox, spouting off lines like “This isn’t funny,” as if he’s trying to convince the audience this movie has a sense of humor—spoiler: it doesn’t.
The best part? The ensemble cast all look like they stumbled in from a community theatre production of How to Make an Extremely Low-Budget Horror Film. Characters like Jesse (Mark Patton), the antique dealer, and Michelle’s brother (who is somehow a police officer with the personality of a damp sock) add exactly nothing to the plot, except confusion about why anyone would continue this ridiculous series after so many failed installments.
Horror: Jump Scares, Ghostly Monkeys, and a Clown
Here’s where Amityville: Evil Never Dies truly lives up to its name. It’s a horror film about a haunted clownhouse, but it can’t even manage to scare you with the clown part. Instead, we’re treated to jump scares that are so predictable, you might as well be watching a Scooby-Doo episode, and the “creepy” moments are more laughable than spine-chilling. The cymbal-banging monkey is supposed to be terrifying, but by the time the movie trots it out for the third or fourth time, you’ll find yourself laughing at the sheer absurdity of it all.
We get your standard Amityville horror tropes: a haunted house, a cursed object, possession, a lack of consistent logic, and a dash of gore. And for the first 15 minutes, it might actually make you feel like there’s hope. But then the evil monkeyarrives, and with it comes the realization that you’re trapped in a movie that forgot how to take itself seriously. It’s like a bad fever dream where everything that could possibly go wrong with a ghost story does—except the only ones actually suffering are the characters on screen.
Cinematography: Is This a Horror Movie or a Home Video?
If the plot and characters don’t give you whiplash, the cinematography will. The camera work in Amityville: Evil Never Dies is so basic it might as well be shot on a cell phone. You can almost hear the director yelling, “Quick! Get the shot before the evil monkey breaks something!” The lighting is about as ominous as a late-night infomercial, and the “creepy” visuals are more about bad framing than actual atmosphere. The filmmakers seem to think that dim lighting and loud sound effects can mask the fact that their movie looks like it was filmed in a basement with one light bulb and a budget smaller than a used car.
Conclusion: Amityville: Evil Never Dies—but You Wish It Would
In conclusion, Amityville: Evil Never Dies is the kind of film you watch when you’re bored out of your mind and want to experience an equal mix of confusion and unintentional humor. It’s a supernatural horror film about a haunted monkey toy that is somehow more bizarre than terrifying, and a clown that doesn’t even live up to the potential for comedy. If you’re looking for genuine horror or even something remotely engaging, Amityville: Evil Never Dies might just leave you wondering if you’ve been cursed to watch it for all eternity.
Verdict: 1 out of 5 stars—because the cymbal-banging monkey deserves better.
