In Holocaust 2000, otherwise known as The Chosen or Rain of Fire (which is a far more ominous title, honestly), director Alberto De Martino attempts to squeeze a B-movie plot into a bloated, overdone 1970s thriller. The result is nothing short of a baffling mess, in the same way a car crash involving a nuclear power plant and the Antichrist might look. But instead of the expected grim, post-apocalyptic drama, you get a long-winded spectacle of random explosions, unintentionally hilarious performances, and a plot that has as much coherence as a toddler’s finger painting of the Bible. Seriously, if you’re looking for something with depth, you might be better off watching your toaster’s “burn” function for two hours.
The film stars Kirk Douglas—bless his ever-appropriate, gravelly voice—as Robert Caine, a wealthy industrialist with all the subtlety of a bulldozer trying to make a killer profit off of a nuclear power plant built near a sacred Middle Eastern cave. In an act of moral hubris, Caine ignores local doomsayers and proceeds to build his shiny, radioactive monstrosity, the kind of place you’d think twice about installing a water cooler at. But who could have predicted that his innocent little plant would be ground zero for Armageddon? The twist: His son, Angel (Simon Ward), is the Antichrist, because of course he is. The guy’s name is Angel, folks. As if the name wasn’t a giant billboard flashing, “I’m the bad guy!”
The Plot: Nuclear Apocalypse, Baby!
The plot of Holocaust 2000 is best summed up by describing the following sequence of events: Robert Caine, a man who appears completely unaffected by the imploding catastrophe that is his own life, tries to build a nuclear power plant while his Antichrist son plays Minecraft in the background, planning to bring about the End Times. Sounds like a real family bonding moment, right? Throw in some ominous prophecies, a slew of suspicious deaths (surprising no one), and Kirk Douglas staring at the camera like he just got handed the world’s worst Yelp review, and you’ve got yourself a film that squanders its potential with the precision of a nuclear meltdown.
As Caine dives into the history of the plant’s construction, he uncovers that its design might have been inspired by something a little darker than standard engineering blueprints: a biblically-prophesied Beast. Nothing says ‘family-friendly’ like nuclear plant construction being linked to the impending doom of humanity. You’d think this would have raised a red flag, but Caine just rolls with it, much like your average movie dad who forgot to read the terms and conditions before signing up for the job.
During a dream sequence that would make even Salvador Dalí laugh nervously, Caine envisions the plant rising from the sea and transforming into a multi-headed monster. The fact that this sequence doesn’t even make the slightest bit of sense is somehow the least confusing thing about the film.
The Real Terror: Kirk Douglas’ Hair
The true horror of Holocaust 2000 is not the end of the world, the flaming tower of doom, or the fact that the entire plot feels like it was written by a team of 1970s Mad Men under the influence of some really bad moonshine. No, the real terror here is watching Kirk Douglas try to act like an emotionally invested father figure while rocking the world’s most obvious toupee. It’s like a constant reminder that no one truly escapes the ravages of time. As Caine walks around, plagued with moral dilemmas, his patchy, lifeless hair wavers in the breeze, giving off more of a “senior living center” vibe than any sort of global industrial power. In every tense moment, you’ll inevitably find yourself wondering: How does that wig stay on?
But beyond Douglas’ hair (because, let’s face it, it’s practically a character in and of itself), his portrayal of Robert Caine is like watching a man do his best impression of a corporate robot trying to save humanity by, you guessed it, building a nuclear power plant. There’s no emotional depth, no fatherly tenderness, just the kind of grimace you’d expect from someone who’s realizing the true cost of bad real estate investment.
The Ending: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Apocalypse
Let’s talk about the ending—yes, the film has two of them, and I think it’s safe to say both qualify for the “Why did I waste 90 minutes of my life?” category. The European ending features an open conclusion, with Caine in exile holding his newborn child, while his now-adult son continues his quest to bring about the apocalypse, because why not? The child’s already a dead giveaway. That ending, if I’m being honest, sounds like a merciful conclusion, as it leaves you dangling in the uncomfortable notion that the apocalypse will just keep happening, with no satisfying closure or explanation—because why should there be?
But the real kicker is the U.S. version, which gets a dose of American-style optimism, and we all know that means someone needs to blow something up. Kirk Douglas, in his infinite fatherly wisdom, returns to the company with explosives strapped to him like he’s the human embodiment of a 1970s thriller’s checklist. There’s a big explosion, and lo and behold, Caine succeeds in preventing the apocalypse. Who says you can’t thwart Armageddon with a few sticks of dynamite and a poorly-timed moral compass?
The Cast: A Crew of Mostly Disinterested Human Props
The ensemble cast features some truly bewildering performances, most notably Kirk Douglas, who appears far more interested in the paycheck than the actual plot. Simon Ward as Angel does his best to look sinister while simultaneously looking like he’s just spent a day at a frat party. And then there’s Anthony Quayle as Professor Griffith, who seems to be asking the same question we all are: How did I end up in this mess?
But none of these performances can eclipse the fact that the film’s main antagonist, the plant, is literally the most exciting character, despite being an inanimate object. The plant’s design, a twisted tower of biblical doom, has more personality than any of the human characters, and that’s saying something. The film, after all, is about a nuclear power plant, and guess what? It’s just as soulless and calculated as you’d expect.
Conclusion: A Film That’s a Real “Power Plant” of Failure
Holocaust 2000 is, without a doubt, the cinematic equivalent of an overly ambitious building project gone terribly, horribly wrong. It tries to meld themes of biblical prophecy, nuclear disaster, and corporate greed into one seamless narrative, only to be utterly overshadowed by the sound of Kirk Douglas’ wig rustling in the wind. It’s a mess. It’s a spectacle of doom that doesn’t even know what kind of disaster it’s trying to build, leaving audiences stranded in a heap of confusion, misplaced ambition, and absolutely no emotional payoff.
If you want a film that takes itself way too seriously about the end of the world, but can’t even be bothered to give you a decent finale, then Holocaust 2000 is your ticket to suffering. Just don’t expect to walk away feeling enlightened. Instead, you’ll probably end up questioning the very existence of both nuclear power plants and films like this one.
