If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if a disaster movie, a nature documentary, and a daytime soap opera all mated inside a hive—well, The Bees is the answer, and it stings like a cheap tequila hangover. Directed by Alfredo Zacarías, with a script that was supposed to be Jack Hill’s until it was wrestled away mid-production, this cinematic honey trap delivers ninety-five minutes of bargain-bin The Swarm knockoff… only with less plot, more screaming, and bees who somehow look less threatening than the stuffed ones you win at the county fair.
The Story (Sort Of)
In theory, it’s about South American killer bees being brought to the U.S., wreaking havoc, and teaching mankind a lesson about messing with nature. In practice, it’s a soap opera about John Saxon trying to look scientific while Angel Tompkins stares into the middle distance like she’s pondering her next career move. Oh, and John Carradine wanders through the set like he accidentally stumbled in from another movie and decided to stay for the craft services.
The Bees Themselves
Our title characters are… well… bees. Real bees. Stock footage bees. Rubber bees glued to actors’ faces bees. Occasionally, they’re played by a handful of extras waving their arms in terror while someone off-camera shakes a jar of wasps for sound effects. The editing tries to make them menacing, but most of the time you’re too distracted wondering if the bees were paid scale.
Performances Under Duress
Saxon delivers his lines as though he’s trying to get through them before an actual bee lands on him. Tompkins alternates between screaming and looking mildly annoyed, and Carradine—God bless him—commits fully to his role as the obligatory eccentric scientist, even though he looks like he’d rather be cashing a check in Acapulco.
The “Action”
Whole swaths of the film are just people running from bees in slow motion while the soundtrack blares like a rejected disco single. The bee attack sequences rely heavily on quick cuts, overacting, and the assumption that audiences can’t tell the difference between hundreds of bees and maybe a dozen filmed up close.
Final Sting
The Bees isn’t scary, suspenseful, or scientifically accurate—but it is accidentally hilarious. It’s the kind of movie you watch at 2 a.m. with friends and a bottle of something strong, shouting “Don’t go outside!” at characters who can’t hear you, mostly because they’re too busy pretending to be swarmed by insects that were clearly added in post.
