A Tail as Old as Time
Lewis Teague’s Alligator is the kind of movie that takes an urban legend—“baby alligator flushed down the toilet grows up in the sewer”—and says, “Yeah, but what if it also got juiced up on illegal growth hormones and developed a taste for wedding guests?” It’s part creature feature, part cop drama, and part public service announcement about not buying exotic pets for your kids unless you’re ready to raise a 36-foot, bulletproof reptile in your basement.
Robert Forster, Patron Saint of Bad Luck
As Detective David Madison, Robert Forster gives us the ultimate grizzled cop performance. His character is so unlucky with partners that he’s practically a one-man HR nightmare. By the time he’s chasing a mutant alligator through the Chicago sewer system, you realize Forster’s Madison is less “assigned to the case” and more “cursed by the gods of animal control.” His hairline is receding, his patience is gone, and his banter is sharper than any of the film’s knives.
Marisa Kendall: From Pet Owner to Reptile Therapist
Robin Riker plays Dr. Marisa Kendall, the herpetologist who—plot twist—was the little girl who flushed the alligator in the first place. Now grown up, she’s the only person in town who can identify the creature, explain its behavior, and keep a straight face while telling a cop that, yes, the killer in his city is a supersized pet she abandoned as a child. Their reluctant chemistry works, especially in scenes where Madison bonds more easily with her chatty mother than with her.
Ramón: Sewer Royalty
Our titular alligator—named Ramón—spends 12 years snacking on hormone-soaked lab animals until he’s big enough to eat a Buick. The effects are pure 1980s monster magic: part puppet, part live gator footage, part clever editing. Ramón’s debut kill in the gas-lit gloom of the sewer sets the tone: he’s fast, hungry, and has the kind of armor plating that makes SWAT teams cry. His later rampage through a society wedding is a glorious reminder that nature has no respect for cocktail hour.
The Supporting Cast: Buffet on Legs
The film offers a rich variety of victims—sewer workers, snotty reporters, corrupt businessmen, big-game hunters—each lined up like an all-you-can-eat human buffet. Henry Silva’s Colonel Brock is the standout: a pompous, safari-clad mercenary who treats the hunt like a photo op until Ramón turns him into an appetizer. Dean Jagger’s Slade, the corporate sleaze responsible for the growth hormone mess, earns his karmic comeuppance at his own wedding reception.
Social Commentary in the Gutter
Like John Sayles’ earlier script for Piranha, Alligator slips in sly jabs at corporate greed, environmental negligence, and political corruption. The film’s monsters aren’t just in the sewers—they’re also in the mayor’s office, in the lab, and at the head table in the banquet hall. Ramón just has the decency to be honest about wanting to eat you.
Set Pieces Worth Their Weight in Reptile Scales
From the claustrophobic sewer hunts to the infamous pool scene (yes, the kid gets eaten—it’s a horror movie, not Free Willy), Teague keeps the pacing tight and the kills memorable. The wedding massacre is a highlight, combining horror and comedy as panicked guests scatter while Ramón works through the guest list like he’s checking off RSVP cards.
The Ending: Circle of Strife
Madison and Kendall lure Ramón back into the sewer, blow him up with enough explosives to level a small neighborhood, and walk off victorious—until the camera reveals a fresh baby alligator in a storm drain. It’s the perfect B-movie wink, reminding us that no matter how many monsters you kill, someone’s still flushing the next one down the toilet.
Final Verdict: Sewer Chic, Monster Sleek
Alligator is funny, sharp, and self-aware without ever winking so hard it pulls a muscle. It balances its absurd premise with enough grit and wit to make you care about the characters even as you’re rooting for the gator to chomp the villains. It’s the rare creature feature where you can say the monster has personality—and honestly, in this town, Ramón might be the most likable resident.
