There’s bad horror, and then there’s Ghoul — a Czech 3D found-footage movie that somehow manages to make cannibalism, communism, and demonic possession feel like an Ambien overdose. Directed by Petr Jákl, this 2015 “horror” film allegedly combines the true history of the Holodomor famine with the legend of Andrei Chikatilo, the Soviet serial killer … Read More ““Ghoul” (2015): Found Footage, Lost Patience” »
If you’ve ever stared at your bathroom wall and thought, “What if this tile is hiding a portal to a damp, Lovecraftian nightmare?” — congratulations, you’re ready for The Gateway (also known as Curtains), Jaron Henrie-McCrea’s 2015 horror oddity about activism, guilt, and the supernatural hazards of modern plumbing. It’s a weird, low-budget gem that … Read More ““The Gateway” (2015): When Your Shower Curtain Opens to Hell and You Just Roll With It” »
There are bad ideas, and then there’s basing your haunted house on real serial killers who are still alive. That’s not just a lawsuit waiting to happen — that’s The Funhouse Massacre, a deliriously gory 2015 slasher-comedy that feels like someone fed cotton candy and meth to a Scooby-Doo episode and told it to “go … Read More ““The Funhouse Massacre” (2015): When Halloween Attractions Go Full OSHA Violation” »
If Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein was a Gothic tragedy about man playing God, then Bernard Rose’s 2015 Frankenstein is the fever dream of a god who watched too many TED Talks about “disruptive innovation.” It’s smart, sad, violent, beautiful, and bleakly hilarious—all the things you’d expect when a self-aware corpse gets dumped into modern Los Angeles. … Read More ““Frankenstein” (2015): Bernard Rose’s Electric Ode to the Modern Monster—Now with Wi-Fi and Existential Dread” »
There are bad horror movies, and then there are found footage horror movies so inept they make you nostalgic for the days when “Blair Witch” just meant shaky cam and snot bubbles. The Final Project (2015) manages to take the already threadbare corpse of the found footage genre and drag it behind a pickup truck … Read More “The Final Project (2015): A Found Footage Failure So Bad It Should Have Stayed Lost” »
If there’s one thing the devil loves, it’s sequels. Apparently, he’s not content with possessing children, priests, or your Wi-Fi signal — now he’s after continuity rights. The Exorcism of Molly Hartley (2015) is the cinematic equivalent of finding out that the demon from The Exorcist went to community college and majored in disappointment. Directed … Read More “The Exorcism of Molly Hartley (2015): When the Devil Needs a Sequel Nobody Asked For” »
Every parent’s worst nightmare is hiring the wrong babysitter. Maybe she forgets bedtime. Maybe she burns the popcorn. Maybe she, you know, feeds the family hamster to a python and screens your homemade sex tape for your kids. Welcome to Emelie — the 2015 babysitter-from-hell thriller directed by Michael Thelin. It’s like Mary Poppins if … Read More “Emelie (2015): When Your Babysitter’s Resume Includes “Child Abduction and Light Cannibal Energy”” »
If you’ve ever stared at a blank canvas, heard a whisper that might’ve been the Devil, and thought, “You know, maybe I should paint about this,” The Devil’s Candy is your new favorite movie. Written and directed by Sean Byrne (The Loved Ones), this 2017 horror film is equal parts family drama, satanic panic, and … Read More “The Devil’s Candy (2017): A Heavy Metal Masterpiece Dipped in Blood and Parental Anxiety” »
Some horror movies sneak up on you. Others crawl under your skin and haunt you for weeks. Demonic (2015) kicks down the door, spills your popcorn, and yells, “Did someone say séance?” before tripping over its own pentagram. Directed by Will Canon and produced by James Wan (the patron saint of haunted real estate), Demonic … Read More “Demonic (2015): Where Ghost Hunting Meets Group Therapy and Everyone Loses” »
If Tenacious D and Evil Dead II had a headbanging, blood-soaked baby that grew up in small-town New Zealand, its name would be Deathgasm. Directed by Jason Lei Howden, this gloriously unhinged 2015 horror-comedy is a love letter to heavy metal, friendship, and the fine art of accidentally summoning demons because you couldn’t think of … Read More “Deathgasm (2015): When Heavy Metal Summons Hell and Somehow Makes It Adorable” »