INTRODUCTION: THE DANGERS OF STAYING TOO LONG AT THE PARTY By the time A View to a Kill was released in 1985, Roger Moore had been playing James Bond for twelve years. He’d already done more films in the role than any other actor and brought a sense of humor and aristocratic cool to the … Read More “A View to a Kill (1985) – Bond Grows Old, and So Do We Watching It” »
INTRODUCTION: TARZAN-LITE IN A GLOSSY, BARELY-THERE LOINCLOTH When it hit theaters in 1984, Sheena was meant to be a female-fronted answer to the pulpy adventure stories of the ’30s and ’40s, polished with glossy Reagan-era sheen and nudity. But instead of roaring like the jungle cat it promised to be, Sheena purred lazily through a … Read More “Sheena (1984) – A Jungle Flop With Just Enough Tanya Roberts To Keep You Watching” »
INTRODUCTION: A B-MOVIE BEHEMOTH THAT ROARS AND ROLLS IN SAND AND SKIN In the pantheon of sword-and-sorcery films that exploded in the wake of Conan the Barbarian, few captured the raw, cheesy charm of the genre quite like The Beastmaster. Directed by Don Coscarelli—yes, the same madman who gave us the surreal horror gem Phantasm—this … Read More “The Beastmaster (1982) – Ferrets, Swords, and the Glory of Tanya Roberts” »
Introduction: A Postcard With No Message There’s a particular kind of 1970s teen film that feels like a time capsule without a soul. California Dreaming, directed by John D. Hancock and released in 1979, is one of those forgettable celluloid postcards—sun-drenched, surf-soaked, and stuffed with hollow character sketches passing as human beings. Ostensibly a coming-of-age … Read More “California Dreaming (1979) – A Sun-Bleached Snoozefest With One Bikini-Clad Lifesaver” »
INTRODUCTION: A Wax-Colored Nightmare Without the Heat You’ve seen this movie before, even if you haven’t seen Tourist Trap. A group of attractive young people on a road trip make a pit stop at a strange roadside attraction. Something’s off. Things begin to creak and groan. One of them disappears. A creepy, overly helpful local … Read More “Tourist Trap (1979): A Plastic-Faced Misfire in the Dollhouse of Horror” »
In the grand, goofy pantheon of 1980s comedy, Police Academy stands tall with a chest puffed out and a rubber chicken stuffed down its uniform. Released in 1984 and directed by Hugh Wilson, the film is a gloriously stupid, raucous, and surprisingly lovable mess of slapstick humor, fart jokes, and cartoon chaos. It’s also a … Read More “Police Academy (1984): A Raunchy Relic That Still Makes You Laugh” »
Introduction: The Underrated Stepchild of a Sci-Fi Legacy When people talk about Invasion of the Body Snatchers, their minds usually drift toward the 1956 original—a black-and-white allegory for Cold War paranoia—or the acclaimed 1978 remake with Donald Sutherland and that unforgettable final scream. But nestled between those high points and the regrettable 2007 misfire (The … Read More “Body Snatchers (1993): A Paranoid Descent into Identity, Control, and Gorgeous Doom” »
Introduction: A Curious Artifact of Late ’80s Cinema The Girl in a Swing is the kind of movie that tiptoes around greatness while occasionally tripping on its own ambition. Released in 1988 and based on the novel by Richard Adams (best known for Watership Down), this strange blend of erotic romance and ghostly suspense exists … Read More “The Girl in a Swing (1988): An Uneven Haunting of Passion, Guilt, and the Supernatural” »
Old Money, New Secrets There’s something seductive about the old-money enclaves of the East Coast—the pristine sailboats, the clapboard mansions, the carefully curated smiles hiding centuries of rot. Masquerade (1988), directed by Bob Swaim and starring Rob Lowe, Meg Tilly, and Kim Cattrall, takes that genteel world and scrapes away the varnish to reveal the … Read More “Masquerade (1988): A Slick, Underrated Thriller That Shimmers with Romance and Deception” »
In Agnes of God, director Norman Jewison attempts a cinematic version of John Pielmeier’s intense stage play about innocence, guilt, and faith. Jane Fonda plays Dr. Martha Livingston, a skeptical psychiatrist; Anne Bancroft takes on the role of Mother Miriam Ruth, the convent’s hardline superior; and Meg Tilly takes center stage as Sister Agnes—an innocent … Read More “Agnes of God (1985) – A Heavy-handed Convent Chamber Play That Suffocates Its Promise” »
