There’s a special place in cinematic hell reserved for sequels that arrive decades late, insist they’re Important, and then proceed to trip over their own legacy for three straight hours. I Spit on Your Grave: Deja Vu is that movie. Written and directed by Meir Zarchi, the creator of the original 1978 shocker, this 2019 … Read More “Forty Years Later, Still Spitting, Mostly Dribbling” »
There are low-budget horror movies, there are shot-on-a-weekend horror movies, and then there’s Human Hibachi—a film that feels like someone lost a bet and had to make a cannibal found-footage feature using nothing but an iPhone, a restaurant between dinner rushes, and the lingering smell of fryer grease. Which, to be fair, is basically what … Read More “All-You-Can-Regret Buffet” »
The Hole in the Ground is the kind of horror film that quietly walks into the room, sits in the corner, and proceeds to unnerve you far more than the loud franchise sequel screaming in your face. Directed by Lee Cronin, this 2019 Irish supernatural chiller takes a very simple premise—“What if your child came … Read More “Motherhood, But Make It Monstrous” »
By the time you get to Hell House LLC III: Lake of Fire, you’re not so much watching a horror franchise as auditing its afterlife. Stephen Cognetti’s third entry in the saga of the Abaddon Hotel doesn’t feel like a terrifying conclusion so much as a group project that got extended twice and still turned … Read More “Third Time’s the Yawn” »
If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Saw, Big Brother, and a mid-tier YouTube prank channel got together and made a movie in one afternoon, Funhouse (2019) is your answer—and not in a good way. Written and directed by Jason William Lee, this is a horror film about a deadly reality show that somehow … Read More “Welcome to the Least Fun House on Earth” »
Holiday From Hell “The Faceless Man” is that rare horror film where the biggest question isn’t “What is the monster?” but “What on earth *is this movie trying to be?” James Di Martino’s 2019 feature debut feels like someone mashed together a trauma drama, a backwoods splatter flick, a gangster film, and an anti-cancer PSA, … Read More “The Faceless Man (2019) – Holiday From Hell” »
If you’ve ever sat in a real escape room thinking “this would be way more fun if someone actually died,” Escape Room(2019) is the movie that looked into your soul, called you out, and then handed you a popcorn bucket. Adam Robitel’s film is basically Saw for people who own at least one board game … Read More “Solve or Die Trying: Escaping Escape Room (2019) With All Your Limbs and Most of Your Dignity” »
If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Bubble Boy, The Exorcist, and a mid-budget Netflix original got stitched together in a dim hallway and told to behave, congratulations: you’ve already mentally seen Eli. Watching the film is just the confirmation that yes, that is exactly as chaotic as it sounds — and no, it … Read More ““Eli” (2019): Bubble Boy Meets The Exorcist, Then Faceplants Into a Plot Twist” »
A Portal to Hell — and to Straight-to-DVD Limbo If you’ve ever wondered what it would look like if Indiana Jones went through a midlife crisis, mixed his meds, and ended up in a Spirit Halloween commercial, Devil’s Revenge is your answer. Directed by Jared Cohn, this 2019 supernatural slog stars Jason Brooks, Jeri Ryan, … Read More “Devil’s Revenge (2019): The Shatnerian Descent into Discount Hell” »
A Ghost Story So Political It Could Be Banned from the Afterlife If you think haunted schools are scary, try surviving one run by an authoritarian regime. Detention (返校), John Hsu’s 2019 supernatural psychological horror film based on the hit video game by Red Candle Games, isn’t your typical “boo, there’s a ghost behind you” … Read More “Detention (2019): Ghosts, Guilt, and Government Surveillance—A Study in Beautiful Terror” »