Some horror movies are so bad, they become cult classics. Evil Breed: The Legend of Samhain is not one of those movies. This thing isn’t a cult classic—it’s a cinematic hazing ritual. A 78-minute exercise in audience punishment dressed up as Celtic mythology and topless American Pie nostalgia. It’s the kind of film you show someone when you want them to stop asking for horror recommendations.
Let’s get this out of the way: Yes, Jenna Jameson and Ginger Lynn Allen are in it. No, that does not help.
The Plot (Kind of)
The “plot” goes something like this: a group of horny, paper-thin characters head to the Irish countryside for vague reasons involving archaeology or camping or maybe just being murdered for the audience’s amusement. What they find instead are cannibalistic, deformed mutants supposedly descended from the legendary “Samhain” bloodline.
Which sounds cool on paper—like The Hills Have Eyes meets The Wicker Man—but what you get is Scooby-Doo with more nudity and worse editing. The story is basically a slasher-by-numbers where the numbers were smudged, miscounted, and then set on fire.
Jenna Jameson and Ginger Lynn: From XXX to WTF
The marketing tried hard to sell this as “porn stars go horror.” And sure, Jenna and Ginger are here. Jenna plays a schoolteacher, which is hilarious in itself. She delivers her lines with the same enthusiasm she might reserve for reading off the lunch menu at a truck stop. Ginger Lynn fares about the same, like she wandered onto set thinking it was a VH1 Behind the Music special and just rolled with it.
To their credit, they’re not the worst actors in the movie. Which tells you everything you need to know about the rest of the cast.
The Gore: Budget Cannibal Buffet
If you came for blood, you’ll get some—but not the good kind. This isn’t suspenseful, creative gore. This is ketchup-packet-from-your-glove-compartment gore. Rubber limbs, off-camera kills, and shaky editing that looks like it was done by a caffeinated raccoon with Final Cut Pro.
There’s a scene where a character is disemboweled, but the effect is so phony it feels like the intestines were ordered off Amazon with a promo code. Half the gore is hidden by fog or dim lighting. Not the atmospheric kind—just the kind that says, “We ran out of money and forgot to buy a decent lamp.”
The Villains: Discount Gollums
The cannibals themselves look like rejected extras from a bad X-Files episode. Covered in slime and looking like a cross between a sewer goblin and someone who lost a bar fight with a cheese grater, these are not iconic horror monsters. They’re just sad. One of them slips on a rock while chasing someone, and I swear I felt embarrassed for the costume.
They’re supposedly descendants of some ancient Celtic curse or whatever, but really, they’re just there to fill time between the shower scenes.
The Soundtrack: 2003 Called, It Wants Its Guitar Riffs Back
Every death scene is scored like a nu-metal band’s demo tape. Heavy guitar riffs, clunky transitions, and the subtlety of a monster truck rally. At one point, a girl runs through the woods while the soundtrack sounds like Fred Durst screaming from the bottom of a well. It’s the musical equivalent of a tribal tattoo.
Missed Opportunities: Samhain Deserved Better
The festival of Samhain is rich with terrifying folklore—spirits walking the earth, ancient rituals, sacrificial horror. And what does this movie give us? A group of porny stereotypes in a cabin, getting picked off by Play-Doh mutants with no personality and even less mythology. You could make a whole terrifying movie around Irish paganism, but instead, this script was written in crayon by someone who thinks Celtic is just a basketball team.
Final Thoughts: Trick, No Treat
Evil Breed: The Legend of Samhain is what happens when someone tries to ride the American Pie wave straight into a horror film, crashes into the Celtic myth bus, and all the survivors get eaten by incompetence. It’s not scary. It’s not sexy. It’s not entertaining.
It’s just… a movie. Technically.
Verdict: 1 out of 5 haunted potatoes. Bonus point revoked for making me wish I was watching a History Channel documentary about actual Samhain instead.
