Introduction: The Bride Wore Regret
Graverobbers (also called Dead Mate, because one bad title wasn’t enough) is one of those movies that makes you wish you had the ability to erase memories, Eternal Sunshine-style. It’s pitched as a black comedy horror about a waitress marrying a mortician who may or may not be part of a grave-robbing, corpse-loving death cult. In practice, it plays like a Lifetime movie written by a horny goth kid and filmed on VHS by a drunk uncle who thought he was directing Twin Peaks.
It’s 90 minutes of “is this real or a dream?” nonsense, delivered with the subtlety of a hearse driving through your living room.
Plot Breakdown: “Till Death (and Necrophilia) Do Us Part”
Our heroine Nora Mae (Elizabeth Mannino), a former prostitute turned diner waitress, is already living the kind of life that screams “ripe for exploitation cinema.” She meets John Henry Cox (yes, Cox — subtlety isn’t this film’s forte), a mortician with the social skills of a damp sponge. Within minutes of screen time, he proposes. She accepts, because apparently red flags don’t exist in upstate New York.
Soon Nora’s new husband drags her into a world of creepy small-town funeral parlor hijinks. By “hijinks” I mean necrophilia, electricity experiments on corpses, and locals who look like they wandered in from a Hee Haw blooper reel.
From there, the movie bounces between dream sequences and reality so clumsily that by the halfway mark you no longer care what’s real, what’s imagined, or if any of the cast got paid. Evan, the brother of a drowned girl, shows up to warn Nora that her husband and his buddies are into grave robbing and necro-science. Naturally, he’s either a corpse, a ghost, or just another badly directed actor, depending on the scene.
By the end, Nora finds herself locked in caskets, chased through cemeteries, and nearly drowned in bathtubs. Then—psych!—it was all a dream. Except maybe it wasn’t. Except maybe it was. Except maybe we all died watching it and this review is being written from the afterlife.
Characters: All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Act
-
Nora Mae (Elizabeth Mannino): Equal parts scream queen and confused soap opera extra. She spends most of the movie either shrieking, fainting, or wandering around looking like she forgot why she walked into a room. By the end, you root for her mostly because you want the movie to end.
-
John Henry Cox (David Gregory): Our “romantic” mortician lead. He’s supposed to be mysterious but mostly looks constipated. Imagine if Christian Grey worked at a funeral home and had less charisma.
-
Evan (Jerry Rector): Brother of a “dead” girl who spends the movie warning Nora while simultaneously being undead himself. His character arc is basically a circle: alive, dead, alive again, then dead-ish. Schrödinger’s Redneck.
-
Sheriff Porter (Lawrence Bockius): The kind of lawman who looks like he spends more time taste-testing embalming fluid than enforcing justice. His big twist? He’s in on the cult too, because in horror movies, small-town sheriffs are legally required to be evil.
-
Morley the Chauffeur (Kelvin Keraga): Looks like Uncle Fester went to chauffeur school. He dies, comes back, rides a motorcycle while decomposing, and generally proves that the undead can be just as boring as the living.
Horror? Comedy? Or Just Corpse Rot?
The horror in Graverobbers is mostly theoretical. We’re told it’s scary, but onscreen it’s just… damp. The scariest things are:
-
Necrophilia: Two ambulance drivers literally make love to a corpse. It’s filmed with all the tact of a high school prank video.
-
Electrocution Scenes: John and his crew zap bodies to “cure” AIDS. Yes, really. Someone thought this was edgy social commentary. It’s about as subtle as carving your thesis statement into a corpse with a chainsaw.
-
Dream Logic: Every time something remotely interesting happens, it’s revealed to be a dream. By the fifth fake-out, you’re begging for someone to just stay dead.
The comedy, meanwhile, is less intentional and more “look at these awkward performances and stilted dialogue.” Watching Nora scream at her husband, “I know what you did with those dead bodies!” is funny, but not in the way the filmmakers intended.
Production Values: VHS and Chill
Visually, the film has the texture of a used VHS tape left in a funeral parlor basement. Lighting is inconsistent, audio is muffled, and the editing has the rhythm of a drunk guy trying to remember where he parked.
The sets consist mostly of:
-
A diner that looks like it rents by the hour.
-
A funeral home basement with enough cobwebs to choke a tarantula.
-
Random graveyard shots filmed on what must have been Take Your Dog to Work Day, because you can practically hear barking off-screen.
The “special effects” are mostly ketchup packets and fog machines. The embalming room scene looks like a Home Depot plumbing display, while the zombie makeup is a shade better than a third-grader’s Halloween costume.
The Dream Twist: The Biggest Cop-Out Since “It Was the Butler”
After an exhausting parade of grave-robbing, corpse zapping, and bad acting, the film drops its big twist: it was all a dream. That’s right — everything, from the cult to the casket to Evan’s undead nonsense — was just Nora’s nightmare.
This isn’t a clever Inception-style ambiguity. It’s a narrative middle finger. The filmmakers basically spent 90 minutes yelling “boo!” before admitting there was nothing in the closet.
Even worse, after the dream reveal, Nora immediately shoots John and Morley in a diner, proving that either the dream continues or the writers had no idea how to end this mess. My guess is the latter.
Best Worst Moments
-
The Necrophilia Ambulance Bros: They roll a corpse around like it’s prom night. Somewhere, even Jess Franco rolled his eyes.
-
Nora’s Bathtub Scene: John tries to drown her “accidentally.” It’s about as tense as watching someone slip in a bubble bath.
-
Zombie Motorcycle Chase: Morley crumbles into a corpse mid-chase. It’s supposed to be terrifying, but looks like an Evil Dead gag directed by a guy who’s never seen Evil Dead.
-
The Tombstone With Nora’s Name: Subtlety, thy name is Graverobbers.
Legacy: The Dead Should’ve Stayed Buried
Unlike other late-’80s horror oddities, Graverobbers never achieved cult status. It didn’t inspire a franchise, didn’t spawn merchandise, and didn’t even make for good VHS box art. Its legacy is mostly existing as a trivia footnote: “Remember that weird movie with necrophilia, cultists, and a dream ending? No? Good.”
Even the alternate title, Dead Mate, feels like a half-hearted pun some producer pitched while half-asleep.
Final Verdict: “Till Death Do Us Groan”
Graverobbers is proof that horror-comedy requires either skill or chaos — preferably both. Instead, we get a plodding, confusing mess that leans on necrophilia for shock value and dream sequences for excuses. It’s not scary, it’s not funny, and it’s not clever. It’s cinematic embalming fluid: designed to preserve something dead far longer than anyone asked for.
If you’re into awkward performances, nonsensical twists, and plots that evaporate under scrutiny, Graverobbers might amuse you in a “so bad it’s bad” way. For everyone else, just remember: the real horror is realizing you wasted 90 minutes of your life that you’ll never get back.
