Ah yes, Grim (1996). A movie so aptly titled it’s almost a spoiler, except instead of dread and horror, the “grim” part describes the audience’s face once they realize they’ve just blown 90 minutes watching a cave troll that looks like it crawled out of the clearance bin at Party City.
This was Paul Matthews’ directorial debut. And boy, does it feel like a debut — the kind of debut that should’ve been kept in a drawer until VHS tapes went extinct. It’s the cinematic equivalent of someone saying, “Hey, what if The Descent but terrible?” Except The Descent hadn’t been made yet, so the joke was on us.
The Plot (aka “Scooby-Doo Goes Spelunking”)
We open with some friends playing with a spirit board because apparently Ouija boards were sold 2-for-1 at Woolworth’s in the ‘90s. Katie gets possessed by the titular monster, “The Grim,” who has been trapped underground. She then basically says, “Sure, demon, be free!” like she’s signing a permission slip for Satan’s field trip.
Once unleashed, Grim immediately starts attacking townsfolk through sinkholes. Imagine the horror of your backyard barbecue ruined, not by ants, but by a rubbery troll face popping out of the lawn. That’s the level of terror.
Cue a ragtag spelunking crew led by Rob (Emmanuel Xuereb), the most generic hero name since “Guy Who Survives.” He’s joined by his ex-girlfriend Penny (Tres Hanley), Katie, and assorted fodder with all the depth of a pizza menu. They descend into the caves, where Grim picks them off like a bored kid pulling wings off flies.
We get kidnappings, a woman named Mary who’s been stuck in Grim’s lair long enough to go insane, and an ending so lazy it makes you nostalgic for Power Rangers villain deaths. Spoiler: Grim gets trapped by sunlight. Yes, sunlight. Not exactly a groundbreaking weakness. Dracula’s lawyers should sue.
The Monster (aka “Rejected Henson Puppet”)
Let’s talk about the creature, the selling point of this “horror” flick. Grim looks like someone melted a He-Man action figure and glued it to a Halloween mask. It’s all rubber suit, no menace. Watching him lumber through caves is less scary and more like seeing your drunk uncle in a gorilla costume at a kids’ birthday party.
The movie wants him to be this ancient, unstoppable evil. In reality, he looks like he could be defeated by a sturdy push broom. The only thing terrifying about Grim is imagining how much of the £650,000 budget went into that foam latex disaster.
The Cast (aka “Waiting to Die”)
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Rob: Our hero. His main skill is exposition and looking sweaty with a flashlight.
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Penny: His ex, who spends the movie alternately screaming and wondering why she ever dated this guy.
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Katie: The accidental doorman for Hell. Her reward? Getting dragged back into the cave at the end like she just lost at cosmic tug-of-war.
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Steve, Trish, Ken, Sarah: Victims A through D. You’ll forget their names before the credits roll.
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Mary: The crazy cave prisoner. Honestly, she had the right idea—just go insane early, skip the whole plot.
Special mention goes to Grim himself, played by Peter Tregloan. I hope he got hazard pay for sweating buckets under all that rubber, flailing his arms while trying to look like he wasn’t about to fall over.
The Setting (aka “Caves Are Cheap to Rent”)
Filmed in Clearwell Caves in Gloucestershire, England, the location is doing 90% of the work here. You can practically hear the producers saying, “We don’t need sets! The caves are scary enough!” Spoiler: they’re not. After 30 minutes of shaky flashlight beams bouncing off stalagmites, you’re begging for the sweet release of natural lighting.
The Horror (aka “Did Someone Just Drop a Torch?”)
For a horror movie, Grim has one big problem: it’s not scary. At all. Not once. The jump scares are telegraphed, the deaths are unimaginative, and the monster is about as menacing as a muppet on steroids.
When characters die, it’s not tragic—it’s a relief. You’re one step closer to the credits. Trish gets killed, Steve disappears, Ken gets snatched, and you’re left wondering if Grim can come for the cameraman too so this thing can end sooner.
The Special Effects (aka “Pyrotechnics 101”)
The effects are straight out of the “$20 and a smoke machine” school of filmmaking. When they try to blow Grim up with dynamite, it looks like a high school science project gone wrong. And when he’s finally defeated by sunlight, it’s basically a flashlight in his face until he goes, “Oh noooo,” and collapses like a Scooby-Doo villain caught by Velma.
The Pacing (aka “Trapped in Real Time”)
This movie drags worse than Grim’s rubber knuckles across the cave floor. At 86 minutes, it somehow feels longer than The Irishman. Every cave scene is the same: people whisper, people shine flashlights, Grim growls, someone dies. Repeat until you lose the will to live.
The Ending (aka “Why Did We Bother?”)
Rob and Penny survive, Katie gets dragged back into the cave, Grim gets locked away again, and the movie basically says: “See you in the sequel that will never happen.” The real horror is imagining the writers pitching Grim 2: Even Grimmer.
Why This Movie is “Grim”
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The monster suit: a rubber embarrassment.
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The acting: wooden enough to build a treehouse.
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The plot: recycled from every “evil creature in a cave” script ever.
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The scares: non-existent.
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The pacing: a slog that makes you consider spelunking in real life just to feel something.
Final Thoughts
Grim is the kind of film you find in a thrift store VHS bin between Ghoulies IV and a workout tape from 1987. It’s not even “so bad it’s good.” It’s just bad. But if you’re into watching people get chased through caves by a monster who looks like the Michelin Man’s goth cousin, maybe this is your jam.
For everyone else: stay above ground.
