It’s 1976. The year when high school rebellion finally made it to the big screen, and Massacre at Central High decided to do it with all the finesse of a drunken prom date, a pocketful of explosives, and a complete disregard for what makes a good movie.
Sure, it’s got the “revenge” angle—don’t we all love to watch the bullied kid take down the popular kids with the subtlety of a sledgehammer? But don’t get too excited. The bullies aren’t just bullying, they’re raping, humiliating, and tormenting their way through this sad excuse of a slasher film that’s more interested in casual explosions and murder for laughs than, you know, actually making a coherent film.
Plot: Revenge, But with Less Substance and More Fireworks
The plot of Massacre at Central High unfolds with all the sophistication of a dropped pizza. David (Derrel Maury), the new kid at Central High, has had enough of his fellow classmates’ bullying ways. So, instead of taking a stand or talking it out in some kind of therapy session, he opts for an all-out killing spree. Why? Because high school drama calls for mass murder, obviously. This film’s idea of “justice” involves David slaying his tormentors in increasingly absurd ways, from electrocution via hang-gliders to dive-bombing a guy off a cliff. You have to wonder if this was actually written by a guy who failed gym class and wanted to get revenge on the world for making him do burpees.
David’s motivations are about as deep as a puddle after a light rain: he wants to give the bullied kids a chance to be happy. Too bad those very kids he “saves” quickly turn into even worse monsters, because nothing says “empathy” like turning into a psychopathic bully yourself once given a little power. But hey, at least David acknowledges he’s a madman while laughing maniacally—because if you’re going to be a killing machine, you might as well have fun with it, right?
Cheryl Rainbeaux Smith: The Real Star of the Show
Now, let’s talk about Cheryl Rainbeaux Smith, shall we? Because if there’s one redeeming quality in this mess, it’s her. The woman has more screen presence in one glance than the entire cast combined. Smith plays Mary, and while her character doesn’t exactly get a huge arc, she sure knows how to turn “damsel in distress” into “total babe who’s being chased by a crazed killer.” The way she fills out her role in this utterly vapid movie with the kind of grace you’d only expect from someone with actual talent is something to behold.
Honestly, Smith’s performance here is the equivalent of wearing a fancy dress to a dumpster fire—it’s misplaced, but somehow, it works. While the plot stumbles over itself like a drunk at last call, she shines with just the right amount of unintentional humor. Who else could make a film this bad almost worth watching? Well, her and maybe the guy who thought the idea of exploding lockers was the pinnacle of suspense.
The Rest of the Cast: Collecting a Paycheck and Playing with Explosives
As for the rest of the cast? They’re a walking assortment of stereotypes that, frankly, don’t even do the film the courtesy of being entertainingly bad. Derrel Maury’s David comes off like he’s auditioning for a role in a soap opera—too earnest for his own good, while the rest of the cast stumbles through the scenes with as much depth as a kiddie pool.
There’s Andrew Stevens playing the morally dubious Mark, who does more for the plot by accident than actual character development. Robert Carradine, another standout of the era, seems like he wandered in from a completely different movie about high school and was handed a random script. But again, you’re watching Massacre at Central High for the spectacle, not for some nuanced performances. It’s about murder, mayhem, and kids turning into the very bullies they once feared. Who needs solid character work when you can throw in a few exploding cars and decapitations, right?
Final Thoughts: A Film With Exploding Cars and Non-Existent Morals
As Massacre at Central High limps toward its conclusion, the entire plot implodes in on itself like one of those explosive locker deaths. The students turn on each other, revenge burns through every scene, and there’s a satisfying, if entirely unnecessary, climactic explosion. If you’re looking for something resembling a moral or any kind of decent resolution, well, this movie isn’t for you. It ends with a bam, but not the kind of bam that makes you feel like you’ve just experienced something significant. It’s more like a “well, that was certainly loud” kind of bam.
If you’re into cheesy B-movies, absurd slasher flicks, and a revenge story so thin you can practically see the budget constraints, Massacre at Central High is a solid choice. But if you’re looking for a film that’s actually thought-provoking or intelligently written, well, you’d have more luck just watching Jaws again.
