Every generation gets the horror remake it deserves. The 2000s gave us gritty reboots, the 2010s gave us elevated horror, and the 2020s have now given us Witchboard—a supernatural thriller so aggressively mediocre it feels like the cinematic equivalent of stirring a pot of lukewarm gumbo and calling it “heritage cooking.” Chuck Russell returns to … Read More “Witchboard (2024) – A Horror Remake That Should’ve Stayed in the Museum It Was Stolen From” »
When A.A. Milne wrote Winnie-the-Pooh, he probably never imagined a future in which his gentle honey-loving bear would grow up to become a burly, blood-splattered slasher villain who decapitates people in rave warehouses. Then again, Milne also probably didn’t imagine iPhones, TikTok trends, or that one day this movie would exist—so the universe has a … Read More “Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey 2 (2024) – A Slasher Sequel So Sticky You’ll Wish It Stayed in the Jar” »
Some horror films are scary. Some are weird. Some are unforgettable. And then there’s Tarot—a film that plays its cards so safely it might as well be wearing oven mitts. Marketed as a “mystery horror anthology,” Tarot is technically a movie in the sense that actors stood in front of a camera, but spiritually, it’s … Read More “Tarot (2024) – A Predictable Deck of Jump Scares Drowning in Its Own Seriousness” »
Every so often, a horror film comes along that feels less like a movie and more like something you weren’t supposed to see—like footage that somehow slipped out of an evidence locker and straight into a film festival. Strange Harvest, Stuart Ortiz’s wickedly clever, deeply unnerving mockumentary horror thriller, is exactly that kind of beast. … Read More “Strange Harvest (2024) – A Mockumentary With Teeth, Rituals, and a Smile You Definitely Shouldn’t Trust” »
There are two kinds of smiles in this world: the polite, “I’m fine, thanks for asking” smile we use in grocery stores, and the kind of smile that looks like someone stapled joy onto their face while their soul tries to claw its way out behind the eyes. Smile 2—Parker Finn’s sequel to his 2022 … Read More “Smile 2 (2024) – A Pop Nightmare With Perfect Teeth” »
In an era where horror movies are increasingly assembled on studio conveyor belts—factory-fresh demons, shrink-wrapped jump scares, and enough CGI smoke to choke a dragon—Shelby Oaks arrives like a hungry stray dog scratching at your door at 3 a.m. You know you shouldn’t open it. You know something’s wrong. And yet, you do it anyway. … Read More “Shelby Oaks (2024) – A Howl-in-the-Dark Triumph of Indie Horror” »
If you’ve ever asked yourself, “What if Gremlins, a soap opera, and an off-brand vampire flick all got tossed into the world’s cheapest blender?”, The Granny is here to answer that. Badly. This is the kind of movie that feels less producedand more dared into existence, like someone said, “I bet you can’t make a … Read More “The Granny (1995) – When your inheritance is bad cinema” »
Bride of Chucky is what happens when a horror franchise hits a midlife crisis and decides the solution is black vinyl, ironic needle drops, and giving the killer doll a girlfriend with better comedic timing. It’s loud, trashy, self-aware, and very convinced it’s cooler than it really is—like that guy in high school who quoted … Read More “Bride of Chucky (1998) – When your slasher becomes Hot Topic” »
There are messy films, and then there’s Cruising—a movie that charges into the late-’70s New York gay leather scene waving a knife, a badge, and absolutely no idea what it wants to say. It’s part crime thriller, part character study, part panic attack about queer sex, and part “Al Pacino tries standing around in a … Read More “Cruising (1980) – Leather, murder, and a very confused movie” »
If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if someone made a horror movie entirely out of bad ideas found in a sticky lobby, Blood Theatre is your answer. It’s part slasher, part horror-comedy, part haunted-theater story, and somehow manages to fail at all three while still finding time to fry someone in a popcorn machine. … Read More “Blood Theatre (1984) – When the popcorn kills the plot” »