Slasher By Algorithm If a horror fan typed “make a slasher with everything” into an AI, Stream is pretty much what would come out: four masked killers, a family in crisis, a haunted-ish hotel, a death game, live-streaming, dark web bidders, too many cameos, and a villain named Lockwood who apparently exists in multiple dimensions … Read More “Stream (2024) – Four killers, zero original ideas” »
Eight Legs, Zero RegretsSome creature features apologize for being B-movies. Sting proudly crawls onto your face, hisses, and asks if you’d like popcorn with that panic attack. Kiah Roache-Turner takes a gleefully dumb setup—alien spider egg crashes into a crappy New York apartment, lonely kid raises it like a secret Tamagotchi from hell—and plays it … Read More “Sting (2024) – Your worst pet idea ever” »
Corpse TV For The Digital AgeDavid Cronenberg has finally answered a question nobody sane was asking: what if grieving your spouse involved a 3D livestream of their decomposing corpse? The Shrouds takes that ghoulish premise and plays it straight—not as a cheap horror gimmick, but as an oddly tender, darkly funny meditation on love, control, … Read More “The Shrouds (2024) – Grief, tech, and rotting love” »
A Vacation From Logic There’s a special place in cinematic hell for movies where the scariest thing isn’t the demon, but the runtime. Shaitaan, Vikas Bahl’s 132-minute supernatural slog, takes a perfectly serviceable premise—a creepy stranger, a remote farmhouse, a possessed daughter—and somehow turns it into an overlong lecture on why parents should never open … Read More “Shaitaan: The Devil Wears Discount Exorcist When you order “The Exorcist” on a budget streaming site and it arrives possessed by PowerPoint logic.” »
If you’ve ever thought, “What if watching too many gory horror movies actually turned you into a killer?”, congratulations: you just recreated the central idea of every 80s news segment, several dozen angry op-eds, and the entire plot of Evil Ed. The difference is those old segments were shorter and accidentally funnier. This 1995 Swedish … Read More “Evil Ed – Editing, insanity, and 90 minutes of “we get it, it’s satire”” »
There are bad movies, and then there’s Bad Girls from Mars, which feels less like a film and more like a tax write-off that accidentally learned to walk. Fred Olen Ray’s 1990 black comedy sci-fi slasher aims for meta satire about Hollywood, sex, and low-budget genre trash… and mostly ends up proving its own thesis … Read More “Bad Girls from Mars – When the insurance policy is the real star” »
There are erotic thrillers, and then there’s Color of Night, which looks at the genre’s rules, rips them up, sets them on fire, and then has sex on the ashes. It’s a movie that tried to be everything at once—psychological drama, giallo-style murder mystery, softcore fantasy—and face-planted at the box office, only to crawl back … Read More “Color of Night, 1994 – horny, pulpy, gloriously unhinged” »
If you’ve ever wanted to watch three different movies fight for control of the same 90 minutes and all lose, Killer Party is your moment. It’s a campus comedy, a hazing slasher, and a demonic possession flick all jammed into one film like someone crammed three VHS tapes into the same slot and hoped for … Read More “Killer Party, 1986 – hazing, demons, and a script that flunked out” »
If you’ve ever wondered what a slasher film would look like if it were dropped on its head during production and then left unattended in an abandoned psychiatric hospital for a decade, Doom Asylum has your answer. Richard Friedman’s “comedy slasher”—quotation marks required by law—tries very hard to be funny, edgy, and gory, but mostly … Read More “Doom Asylum, 1988 – the autopsy of a movie that was never alive” »
A holiday where everyone lives (sort of) In the great family tree of 80s slashers, April Fool’s Day is the cheerful, slightly deranged cousin who shows up to the reunion in a cable-knit sweater and then rearranges all the silverware just to see who notices. It’s marketed like a straightforward body-count movie—group of horny college … Read More “April Fool’s Day, 1986 – slasher that actually smiles” »