Poché Pictures

The Setup: A Monster-Sized Disappointment There are bad movies. There are confusing movies. And then there’s The Cloverfield Paradox — a film so baffling it might actually exist in several universes simultaneously, none of which are good. Marketed as the third entry in J.J. Abrams’ “let’s-slap-the-Cloverfield-name-on-it” cinematic multiverse, this Netflix special delivered a surprise drop … Read More “The Cloverfield Paradox (2018) or: How to Lose a Franchise in 10 Dimensions” »

Welcome to the Digital Abyss There’s horror, and then there’s Cam horror — the kind that doesn’t involve monsters, ghosts, or serial killers, but the thing far scarier than all of them combined: losing your online identity. Directed by Daniel Goldhaber and written by Isa Mazzei (based loosely on her own experiences as a camgirl), … Read More “Cam (2018) or: When the Internet Steals Your Face and Your Dignity Follows Shortly After” »

Welcome to the School of Unfulfilled Potential Every horror movie promises to teach us something. The Babadook taught us that grief is a monster you can’t bury. Hereditary taught us that family secrets can really tear your head off. Boarding School teaches us… well, mostly that you can’t fix a bad script by adding a … Read More “Boarding School (2018) or: When the Real Horror Is the Screenplay Itself” »

The Queen, the Bureaucrat, and the Haunted House Some movies are so delightfully absurd that they loop back around to genius. Bhaagamathie is one of them — a film that asks the question, “What if The Conjuring met The West Wing, but make it Telugu and powered by sheer Anushka Shetty charisma?” The result is … Read More “Bhaagamathie (2018) or: When Bureaucracy Meets the Supernatural and Both Need a Therapist” »

The Haunted Side of Higher Education If you’ve ever pulled an all-nighter in college and thought, “I feel like I’m being haunted by the ghosts of my bad decisions,” then Astral is the movie for you. Directed by Chris Mul in his feature debut, this sleek little British horror film combines metaphysics, academia, and demonic … Read More “Astral (2018) or: When Philosophy Majors Discover the Afterlife and Forget to Sleep” »

Welcome to the Sci-Fi Clinic of Existential Confusion If Alterscape were a person, it would be that philosophy major at a house party who corners you in the kitchen to explain how emotions are just electromagnetic frequencies — while you desperately search for an excuse to leave. Written and directed by Serge Levin, this 2018 … Read More “Alterscape (2018) or: When Science Fiction Decides Therapy Should Be a Near-Death Experience” »

WTF… Indeed Sometimes a movie title tells you everything you need to know. WTF! — yes, the exclamation point is part of the title, and yes, it’s earned — is one of those cinematic experiences that makes you mutter those exact three letters every five minutes. Directed by Peter Herro, this 2017 “slasher” film (and … Read More “WTF! (2017) or: When the Real Horror Is the Script Itself” »

Haunted by Hunger and Humanity In a cinematic landscape cluttered with ghostly jump scares and calorie-free characters, The Wasting stands out as something rare: a supernatural story with actual substance. Written and directed by Carolyn Saunders, this Canadian-British psychological drama manages to make the horror of an eating disorder and the terror of a haunting … Read More “The Wasting (2017) or: Anorexia, Apparitions, and Awkward Adolescence — a Ghost Story That Actually Eats You Alive” »

A Game of Dares, a Dare of Endurance If you ever wondered what would happen if a group of college students tried to summon evil using the combined power of bad decisions and worse acting—well, congratulations, you’ve already seen Truth or Dare (2017). Directed by Nick Simon and unleashed upon the unsuspecting public via Syfy … Read More “Truth or Dare (2017) or: The Game That Should’ve Stayed in Middle School” »

The Hunger Games: College Edition Ah, Tokyo Ghoul — the 2017 live-action adaptation of Sui Ishida’s gloriously grim manga about cannibalism, identity crises, and coffee that probably tastes like despair. Directed by Kentarō Hagiwara, this film has all the subtlety of a fork to the jugular, but that’s part of its charm. It’s gothic, gory, … Read More “Tokyo Ghoul (2017) or: How to Lose Friends and Eat People in One Semester” »