There’s a special place in horror hell reserved for movies that promise epic monster battles and instead deliver a student film with the pacing of a funeral and the lighting of a parking garage. Frankenstein vs. The Mummy (2015), written and directed by Damien Leone, confidently stumbles into that cursed category. This film dares to … Read More “Frankenstein vs. The Mummy (2015): When Two Monsters Collide and Everyone Loses” »
There are bad Halloween movies, and then there’s Hellions — a film so bafflingly incoherent it makes you nostalgic for Hocus Pocus 2. Directed by Bruce McDonald and written by Pascal Trottier, this 2015 Canadian horror film tries to be a surreal nightmare about teen pregnancy, motherhood, and demonic trick-or-treaters. What it actually delivers is … Read More ““Hellions” (2015): A Trick-or-Treat Bag Full of Regret” »
If immortality is supposed to be glamorous, Jack didn’t get the memo. In He Never Died, Henry Rollins plays a centuries-old cannibal who looks like he’s been living off protein shakes and pure rage since the Bronze Age. Written and directed by Jason Krawczyk, this 2015 horror comedy is a deadpan, blood-soaked, oddly touching story … Read More ““He Never Died” (2015): Eternal Damnation, Bingo Nights, and the Grumpiest Immortal in Cinema” »
There are movies that pay homage to classics. Then there’s Harbinger Down, which duct-tapes itself to The Thing, screams “PRACTICAL EFFECTS FOREVER!” and then promptly drowns in the Bering Sea of its own good intentions. This 2015 creature feature — written and directed by Alec Gillis, starring Lance Henriksen, and allegedly made to prove that … Read More ““Harbinger Down” (2015): When Nostalgia Mutates Into Mediocrity” »
There are bad horror movies, and then there’s Hangman — a film that makes you wish the killer had just taken you out in the first five minutes so you wouldn’t have to watch the rest. Directed by Adam Mason, Hangman attempts to blend the found-footage creepiness of Paranormal Activity with the voyeuristic dread of … Read More ““Hangman” (2015): When Home Invasion Horror Becomes a 90-Minute PSA for Changing Your Locks” »
If you’ve ever been in a band, you know the struggle — bad pay, worse crowds, and that one show you’ll remember for all the wrong reasons. Jeremy Saulnier’s Green Room takes that universal musician trauma and cranks it up to eleven. It’s the story of a broke punk band that accidentally stumbles into a … Read More ““Green Room” (2015): Punk Rock, Blood Loss, and the Worst Gig Ever Booked” »
Ah, Goosebumps — that gateway drug for every millennial who wanted to read Stephen King but still feared the dark. R. L. Stine’s books were the literary equivalent of a haunted Happy Meal: fun, fast, and guaranteed to leave you with mild psychological trauma. So when Sony Pictures decided to turn the Goosebumps franchise into … Read More ““Goosebumps” (2015): When Your Childhood Nightmares Get a Studio Deal” »
There’s bad horror, and then there’s Ghoul — a Czech 3D found-footage movie that somehow manages to make cannibalism, communism, and demonic possession feel like an Ambien overdose. Directed by Petr Jákl, this 2015 “horror” film allegedly combines the true history of the Holodomor famine with the legend of Andrei Chikatilo, the Soviet serial killer … Read More ““Ghoul” (2015): Found Footage, Lost Patience” »
If you’ve ever stared at your bathroom wall and thought, “What if this tile is hiding a portal to a damp, Lovecraftian nightmare?” — congratulations, you’re ready for The Gateway (also known as Curtains), Jaron Henrie-McCrea’s 2015 horror oddity about activism, guilt, and the supernatural hazards of modern plumbing. It’s a weird, low-budget gem that … Read More ““The Gateway” (2015): When Your Shower Curtain Opens to Hell and You Just Roll With It” »
There are bad ideas, and then there’s basing your haunted house on real serial killers who are still alive. That’s not just a lawsuit waiting to happen — that’s The Funhouse Massacre, a deliriously gory 2015 slasher-comedy that feels like someone fed cotton candy and meth to a Scooby-Doo episode and told it to “go … Read More ““The Funhouse Massacre” (2015): When Halloween Attractions Go Full OSHA Violation” »