Welcome to Scotland—Population: Rage Some movies make you afraid of ghosts, some make you afraid of sharks, and then there’s White Settlers, a film that makes you afraid of the Scottish countryside and, by extension, property ownership. Directed by Simeon Halligan, this 2014 thriller-horror is a deceptively simple tale: Londoners move to rural Scotland seeking … Read More “White Settlers (2014): When Moving to the Country Turns Into a Bloody Staycation” »
The Premise: A Wolf in Writer’s Clothing If Werewolf Rising were a person, it would be the drunk guy at the Halloween party insisting he’s “actually a director,” while wearing a Spirit Halloween mask that still smells like the factory. BC Furtney’s 2014 horror film attempts to blend Southern Gothic with creature feature and psychological … Read More “Werewolf Rising (2014): The Hairy, Howling Low Point of Horror Cinema” »
If you’ve ever wished a literature professor would hurl chalk at your face in native stereoscopic 3D while shouting “Gogol, but make it pulp!,” congratulations: Viy 3D (Forbidden Empire in the US, Forbidden Kingdom in the UK) is your beautifully unhinged fever dream. Oleg Stepchenko’s long-gestating, record-busting Russian-Ukrainian fantasy is the cinematic equivalent of finding … Read More “Forbidden Empire (a.k.a. VIY 3D): Gogol Goes Pop, in Glorious Pop-Out 3D” »
Breaking News: The V/H/S Franchise Has Caught a Fatal Virus There’s a special kind of cinematic misery that comes from watching a movie that thinks it’s clever while actively drooling on itself. V/H/S: Viral is that kind of movie. The third entry in the found-footage anthology series that once promised to reinvigorate horror instead delivers … Read More “V/H/S: VIRAL (2014): When Found Footage Finally Found Rock Bottom” »
Welcome to Texarkana: Where the Murder Never Sleeps Some towns have Thanksgiving parades. Texarkana has a yearly screening of The Town That Dreaded Sundown—a wholesome community event celebrating love, life, and unsolved serial killings. Alfonso Gómez-Rejón’s 2014 The Town That Dreaded Sundown takes this bizarre local tradition and asks the only reasonable question: What if … Read More “THE TOWN THAT DREADED SUNDOWN (2014): A BLOODY LOVE LETTER TO MASKS, MEMORY, AND MURDER IN TEXARKANA” »
Welcome to the Island, Ladies — Hope You Packed a Knife and a Sense of Humor Some horror movies begin with a haunted house. Some begin with a group of strangers. TEN begins with both—and a lot of pig décor. Directed by Sophia Cacciola and Michael J. Epstein, this 2014 indie gem is what happens … Read More “TEN (2014): PIGS, POWER, AND PSYCHOLOGY ON SPEKTOR ISLAND” »
The Setup: Another Found Footage Film Nobody Asked For Let’s be honest: by 2014, the found footage genre was about as fresh as week-old guacamole left on a frat house counter. And then The Taking of Deborah Logan arrived, proudly declaring, “Wait! What if The Blair Witch Project… but with Alzheimer’s?” The result? A film … Read More “THE TAKING OF DEBORAH LOGAN (2014): WHEN ALZHEIMER’S MET SATAN AND FOUND FOOTAGE MET FATIGUE” »
Welcome to the Nuthouse, Where the Inmates Are Delightfully in Charge If Downton Abbey and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest got drunk, had a wild night in a haunted castle, and woke up to find Edgar Allan Poe directing the aftermath, the result would be Stonehearst Asylum—formerly titled Eliza Graves, because apparently “Victorian madness” … Read More “STONEHEARST ASYLUM (2014): A MADHOUSE YOU’LL WANT TO CHECK INTO” »
Welcome to Hollywood, Where Your Soul Is the Application Fee If David Cronenberg and David Lynch had a baby, raised it on expired diet pills, and made it watch Mulholland Drivewhile whispering Satanic affirmations into its ear, that baby would grow up to direct Starry Eyes. Directed by Kevin Kölsch and Dennis Widmyer, this 2014 … Read More “STARRY EYES (2014): HOLLYWOOD DREAMS, DEMONIC SCREAMS, AND A STAR IS REBORN (IN MAGGOTS)” »
A Farewell to Brittany Murphy — and to Cohesive Storytelling There’s a kind of sadness in reviewing Something Wicked that goes beyond its ineptitude. It was the final film appearance of Brittany Murphy before her untimely death, and one can’t help but wish her swan song had been in, well, anything else. Because while the … Read More “SOMETHING WICKED (2014): NOTHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES — EXCEPT MAYBE BOREDOM” »