The Strings Are Showing You know that feeling when a movie sounds like it could be awesome? Nazis, killer puppets, secret formulas, ninjas—it’s the kind of fever dream that should either be brilliant or banned by the Geneva Convention. Puppet Master: Axis of Evil(2010) somehow lands in the middle—too boring to be good, too weird … Read More ““Puppet Master: Axis of Evil” (2010): When Nazis, Ninjas, and Wooden Heads Collide in a War Against Logic” »
Sanity Not Included If you’ve ever thought, “You know what I need? A slow, joyless, confusing British horror film starring Charisma Carpenter having a nervous breakdown in an ugly house,” then Psychosis (2010) is the movie for you—and possibly the last one you’ll ever watch before switching to cartoons for good. Directed and written by … Read More ““Psychosis” (2010): A Mental Breakdown Masquerading as a Movie” »
From Butchery to Bloodshed: The Road Trip from Hell Ah, the early 2010s—the golden age of direct-to-DVD horror movies, where truckers were never friendly, warehouses were never OSHA compliant, and your friends were all just appetizers. Prowl, directed by Patrik Syversen, is one of those hidden horror gems that somehow manages to be both a … Read More ““Prowl” (2010): A Bloody Good Time with a Bite of Existential Crisis” »
Ghosts, Gorgeous People, and Glacial Pacing Let’s begin with the undeniable: Mira Sorvino is a beautiful, talented actress who radiates intelligence even when the script around her collapses like a haunted Jenga tower. Unfortunately, in The Presence (2010), written and directed by Tom Provost, her performance is trapped in a movie so lifeless it makes … Read More ““The Presence” (2010): A Ghost Story in Desperate Need of a Pulse” »
A Nightmare on Tatami Street When the American Paranormal Activity franchise went global, it didn’t take long for Japan to say, “Hold my miso soup.” The result: Paranormal Activity 2: Tokyo Night—a film so committed to copying its source material that it feels less like a sequel and more like a cinematic photocopy that jammed … Read More ““Paranormal Activity 2: Tokyo Night” (2010): The Spirit of Diminishing Returns” »
Bon Appétit, or Maybe Not France has given the world many fine things: croissants, existentialism, and horror films that make you question the meaning of life and dinner. Sadly, The Pack (La meute, 2010), directed by Franck Richard, is not one of them. This grimy slice of backwoods horror premiered at Cannes—yes, Cannes—proving that even … Read More ““The Pack” (2010): Cannibal Cuisine à la Disappointment” »
Welcome to the Dream Factory (of Regret) In 1984, Wes Craven introduced the world to Freddy Krueger, a wisecracking bogeyman who haunted teenagers’ dreams and redefined the slasher genre. In 2010, Michael Bay’s Platinum Dunes decided to “reimagine” that classic for a new generation—because nothing says “creative revival” like putting Freddy through a digital car … Read More ““A Nightmare on Elm Street” (2010): When Freddy Should’ve Stayed Asleep” »
The Legend Returns… Unfortunately There are certain creatures of folklore that deserve respect. Dracula, for instance, has centuries of gothic cool. Bigfoot has charisma and great PR. But then there’s the Mothman—a winged harbinger of doom who, in 2010, landed on Syfy and promptly crashed into mediocrity. Directed by Sheldon Wilson, Mothman is a made-for-TV … Read More ““Mothman” (2010): A Wing and a Prayer (Mostly Prayer)” »
Welcome to Louisiana, Population: Regret Somewhere deep in the swampy heart of Syfy Channel programming, there lurks a beast—part wolf, part eco-warrior, all bad television. Monsterwolf (2010), directed by Todor Chapkanov, is a made-for-TV horror film that proves the true terror of nature is the Syfy Original effects budget. Set in a small Louisiana town … Read More ““Monsterwolf” (2010): When Syfy Let the Dogs Out” »
Through the Looking Glass (and Straight Into Disappointment) “Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.” That should’ve been the tagline for Mirrors 2, the 2010 direct-to-video follow-up to Alexandre Aja’s Mirrors—a movie that didn’t exactly cry out for a sequel in the first place. But here we are, gazing once more into the world … Read More ““Mirrors 2” (2010): Reflections of Regret” »