Poché Pictures

There are bad movies. Then there are Syfy Original Movies. And then, deep below that brackish sludge, tangled in seaweed and shame, lies Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy (2005). A film so gloriously, hideously dumb it almost circles back around to being art. Almost. This is a movie where Jeffrey Combs, in full “mad scientist on meth” … Read More “Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy – When Syfy Said, “What If Jaws F***ed a Soap Opera?”” »

Introduction: The Family That Drills Together, Stays Together There are horror films that tiptoe around taboo. And then there’s Header (2006), which revs up a rusty drill press and charges headlong into the most depraved backwoods nightmare Edward Lee ever put on paper. Directed by Archibald Flancranstin (a name that itself sounds like a grindhouse … Read More “Header (2006)” »

Introduction: When a Funeral Turns into “So You Think You Can Dance” Some horror movies begin with ominous warnings, foreboding atmospheres, and the slow burn of dread. The Gravedancers begins with drunk college buddies deciding to turn a cemetery into a rave. And honestly? That’s the kind of chaotic energy horror needs more of. Directed … Read More “The Gravedancers (2006)” »

Introduction: The Netherlands Tries Horror, Trips on Its Own Wooden Shoes Some horror films scare you, others bore you, and a select few make you wish the black fire from Doodeind would just engulf your television and put you out of your misery. This 2006 Dutch “horror-thriller” directed by Erwin van den Eshof has everything: … Read More “Doodeind (2006)” »

Zombie? Soldier? Dean Cain? Oh God, Why? You know a movie’s in trouble when its alternate title is House of the Dead 3 and someone, somewhere, decided that was too embarrassing. That’s how we got Dead and Deader (2006), a made-for-TV “zombie comedy horror” film on the Sci-Fi Channel (back when it was still spelled … Read More “Dead and Deader (2006)” »

Witches, Abercrombie Models, and CGI Smoke Fights Every once in a while, Hollywood gives us a movie that critics dump on but audiences secretly keep in their guilty-pleasure vault. The Covenant (2006) is one of those movies. Directed by Renny Harlin (the same man who gave us Die Hard 2 and Deep Blue Sea, so … Read More “The Covenant (2006)” »

When Cujo Had Puppies… and They Were Worse Somewhere in the bowels of Hollywood, someone looked at Stephen King’s Cujo and thought, “What if we multiplied that by twenty and removed everything scary?” Thus, The Breed (2006) was born—a Syfy Channel fever dream disguised as a theatrical release, featuring Michelle Rodriguez, genetically enhanced dogs, and … Read More “The Breed (2006)” »

The Horror of Real Estate, South Korean Edition You know what’s scarier than ghosts? Rent. And that’s probably the only real terror in APT (아파트), a South Korean horror film that manages to make supernatural revenge, suicide, and murder feel about as frightening as forgetting your Netflix password. Directed by Ahn Byeong-ki (Phone, Bunshinsaba), this … Read More “APT (2006)” »

A Killer Movie About a Killer Who Loved Movies There are films that capture the grandeur of true crime, and then there’s The Zodiac (2005)—a low-budget, moody horror-drama about one of America’s most famous unsolved cases. With a measly $1 million budget and a box office return smaller than the average Super Bowl snack bill … Read More “The Zodiac (2005)” »

EVP: Extremely Vapid Picture The early 2000s were a glorious time for supernatural horror: The Ring, The Grudge, even Final Destination sequels that at least had the decency to kill teenagers in creative ways. Then came White Noise (2005), a film that said, “What if we took all that spooky Japanese horror energy… and replaced … Read More “White Noise (2005)” »