A Family Film for People Who Think The Texas Chain Saw Massacre Was a Warm Reunion Ah, the late 1980s—a time when slashers were running out of ideas faster than babysitters were running out of virginity. Into this blood-spattered era came Grandmother’s House, a film produced by Nico Mastorakis, a man who could turn anything … Read More “Grandmother’s House (1988): Home Is Where the Horror Is” »
Introduction: Lenzi’s American Vacation By 1988, Italian horror was a sinking ship. Umberto Lenzi, once competent at cranking out gialli and cannibal flicks, decided to hop the Atlantic and make Ghosthouse in Massachusetts. The result? A movie that tries to be Poltergeist, The Amityville Horror, and Evil Dead all at once — but instead feels … Read More “Ghosthouse (1988): When Evil Dolls and Ham Radios Ruined Horror” »
A Western Where the Cowboys Are Dead and the Box Office is Too Imagine this: it’s 1988. Child’s Play is hitting theaters, introducing the world to a doll with more charisma than most leading men. Meanwhile, Empire Pictures quietly drops Ghost Town, a supernatural Western horror flick that combines tumbleweeds, undead outlaws, and Catherine Hickland … Read More “Ghost Town (1988): Saddle Up for Satan” »
Introduction: Franco Goes “High-Budget” Jesús Franco, patron saint of Eurotrash cinema, decided in 1988 that he’d make a “respectable” horror film again. The result was Faceless, his most expensive production since the 1960s, though “expensive” here means they could afford a smoke machine, a chainsaw rental, and Christopher Mitchum’s bar tab. With an all-star cast … Read More “Faceless (1988): A Plastic Surgery Horror That Should’ve Stayed in the Waiting Room” »
Introduction: Nightmare on Tea Street Dream Demon wants desperately to be Britain’s answer to A Nightmare on Elm Street. Instead, it’s more like if Merchant Ivory tried to direct a Freddy Krueger movie. The result is a horror film where posh accents and repressed sexual tension suffocate anything remotely frightening. This movie promises demons, terror, … Read More “Dream Demon (1988): When Nightmares Are Just Tea Breaks with Blood” »
Introduction: Ghosts with Tool Belts If Home Improvement had been directed by Lucio Fulci on a budget of stale Tim Hortons donuts, it might look like The Carpenter. This 1988 Canadian supernatural oddity dares to ask: what if your dream handyman was also a convicted murderer whose idea of “measure twice, cut once” involves dismemberment? … Read More “The Carpenter (1988): Home Improvement from Hell” »
Introduction: All in the Family, and All in the Trash If Dynasty and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre had a baby that nobody wanted, it would look a lot like Blood Relations. This 1988 Canadian “horror” film (quotation marks absolutely required) tries to blend gothic melodrama, family dysfunction, and neurosurgery into something scary. What it … Read More “Blood Relations (1988): Family Is Hell, but This Movie Is Worse” »
Unity Fields Forever: Flaming Hippies and the Worst Summer Camp Ever We open in 1975 at Unity Fields, a cult compound that looks like a Bed Bath & Beyond with candles. Richard Lynch plays Franklin Harris, a messianic firebug who convinces his followers to “free themselves” by setting themselves ablaze. They oblige, because apparently Kool-Aid … Read More “Bad Dreams (1988): Nightmares on Discount Street” »
Fulci’s “Carrie”… If Carrie Was Boring Lucio Fulci, the maestro of Italian gore, wanted to do his own Carrie. What we got instead was Ænigma, a movie that feels like it was pieced together from a VHS rental store’s bargain bin and glued shut with snail slime. Fulci once called it “one of my best … Read More “Ænigma (1988): Snails, Sex Dreams, and Sarajevo-as-Boston” »
A Sequel No One Asked For (But Some of Us Secretly Wanted) By the late ’80s, horror sequels were breeding like…well, like vampires at a frat party. If Friday the 13th could crank out six films by 1986 and Nightmare on Elm Street was already milking Freddy for quips, then naturally Fright Night had to … Read More “Fright Night Part 2 (1988): Vampires, Hypnosis, and the Power of Traci Lind’s Curves” »