Patricia “Apollonia” Kotero’s story begins in sunny Southern California, where she was born in 1959 to Mexican immigrant parents in the beachside community of San Pedro. The eldest of four children, young Patricia grew up in a bilingual household – English at school, Spanish at home – that instilled in her a rich sense of … Read More “Apollonia Kotero: The Purple Reign of an ’80s Icon” »
If Trick or Treats taught me anything, it’s that sometimes the scariest part of a horror movie isn’t the killer—it’s realizing you have another 40 minutes to go and the only real danger you’re in is dying of boredom. Written, shot, edited, and directed by Gary Graver (because apparently no one else wanted their name … Read More “Trick or Treats (1982) – When the Real Horror Is the Run Time” »
Some haunted house movies gently rattle the chains, open a door by themselves, and politely remind you they’re spooky. Superstition is not that movie. This is the supernatural slasher that hurls a table saw blade at a priest, tosses severed limbs into family swimming trips, and gleefully uses a pond as the most dangerous backyard … Read More “Superstition (1982) – When a Witch Won’t Stay Dead, and Neither Will the Body Count” »
A Murder Mystery Without the Mystery (or the Point) Tenebrae is what happens when a celebrated director returns to his roots, only to discover that the soil’s gone sour. Dario Argento, fresh off his supernatural escapades in Suspiria and Inferno, came back to giallo with what was supposed to be a sharp, self-referential thriller. Instead, … Read More “Tenebrae (1982): A Bloody Mess in Designer Clothing” »
Welcome to Venice… Where the Girls Are Pretty and the Tools Are Deadly If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if a feminist satire of the slasher genre got hijacked and turned into a straight horror flick without taking out all the jokes, The Slumber Party Massacre is your answer. Written by Rita Mae Brown … Read More “The Slumber Party Massacre (1982): When Girls’ Night Involves Pajamas, Pizza, and Power Drills” »
The premise is devilishly simple: a mentally ill man, John Kirby, is given a near-indestructible makeover thanks to the generosity of two rogue scientists, and suddenly your average Texas town becomes the set for a very messy medical ethics debate. Brian Libby’s John is the perfect Frankenstein—if Frankenstein were mute, homicidal, and capable of shrugging … Read More “Silent Rage (1982) : Chuck Norris versus science gone wildly unhinged” »
Panic is what happens when an Italian director decides that Frankenstein, a B-horror, and a poorly executed military PSA should all have a ménage à trois. The plot—loosely stitched together with the adhesive of confusion—revolves around a scientist who gets mutated by “experimental bacterial pathogens,” which is a polite way of saying “the movie needed … Read More “Panic (1982) – Cinematic bacterial soup” »
If you’ve ever wanted to see a film where the embalmed dead get more action than the living, then Mortuary is your ticket to awkward terror and unintentional comedy. Directed by Howard Avedis, this 1982 slasher does for mortuaries what a chainsaw does for doorframes: it leaves you wondering why you ever came in the … Read More “Mortuary (1982)” »
Jaws of Satan, or as the local occult enthusiast probably calls it, That Time the King Cobra Decided Alabama Needed a Drama Club. Buckle up: this is not so much a horror film as it is a fever dream conjured by someone who had watched Jaws, read a Sunday-school pamphlet on snakes, and thought, “You … Read More “Jaws of Satan (1982)” »
Friday the 13th Part III (1982)—or, as I like to call it, Jason Takes a Vacation to California Because New Jersey Was Too Mainstream. If you ever wanted to see a collection of teenagers make every conceivable poor life choice imaginable, all while a giant man in a hockey mask turns them into Swiss cheese, … Read More “Friday the 13th Part III (1982)” »
