Poché Pictures

A Stranger is Watching (1982), a film that proves Sean S. Cunningham wasn’t just content to terrorize teenagers in summer camps—he wanted to drag them underground and make them stare at the bowels of Grand Central Station while a psychopath rehearsed his best villain monologues. This is thriller cinema as if someone had dumped a … Read More “A Stranger is Watching (1982)” »

The Sender (1982), a film that feels like someone tried to mix A Nightmare on Elm Street with a heavy dose of Prozac, then dropped it on the floor and filmed whatever crawled out. This movie is the cinematic equivalent of accidentally rubbing your temples on a cheese grater and thinking, “Yes… this will do … Read More “The Sender (1982)” »

Raw Force, or as I like to call it: Kung Fu Cannibals & Other Ways to Ruin a Vacation. This 1982 Frankenfilm is the cinematic equivalent of finding a half-eaten bag of chips under your couch and thinking, “Yes, this will do nicely for dinner.” The premise is simple: a Burbank karate club takes a … Read More “Raw Force (1982)” »

Oasis of the Zombies, Jesús Franco’s 1982 masterpiece of cinematic ambition, or as I like to call it: “Nazi gold, desert camels, and a parade of zombies that look like they forgot they were dead.” Strap in for a bumpy review that’s less polished than the acting, and just as incoherent as the plot. From … Read More “Oasis of the Zombies (1982)” »

Watching Jean Rollin’s La morte vivante is like being handed a fine Bordeaux, only to realize it’s actually grape juice that’s gone sour while you’re trapped in a coffin. The premise is simple enough: Catherine Valmont, dead for a few years, rises from the grave because some hapless jerks decided the proper way to dispose … Read More “La morte vivante (1982)” »

Humongous opens in 1946, because every horror movie needs a prologue that makes you go, “Oh great, I’m already going to feel bad about humanity before the monster even shows up.” A young Ida Parsons is chased into the woods and raped by some idiot houseguest. Her revenge comes via her dogs, who leap from … Read More “Humongous (1982)” »

The Forest (1982), the cinematic equivalent of a kid’s campfire story told by a guy who’s clearly been sniffing too many pine needles and leftover trail mix. Don Jones’ multi-hat-wearing effort—director, writer, editor, producer, and apparently the forest’s HR manager—is a horror film so earnest in its madness that it’s hard not to admire, even … Read More “The Forest (1982)” »

Devil Returns—or as it should have been called, The Ghost of Poor Plot Decisions Strikes Again. This 1982 Taiwanese-Hong Kong horror outing is like someone dumped a bag of haunted ideas on the floor, set it on fire, and decided to film whatever crawled out. If you want subtlety, look elsewhere: here, nightmares, revenge ghosts, … Read More “Devil Returns (1982)” »

Deadly Eyes—or as I like to call it, Toronto: The Dachshund Strikes Back. Robert Clouse’s 1982 attempt at horror is essentially “Jaws,” but the shark is a pack of steroid-fueled rats wearing fur coats they clearly bought on sale at a tiny Canadian pet store. Imagine the terror: a city under siege by overgrown sausage … Read More “Deadly Eyes (1982)” »

Croaked: Frog Monster from Hell—the cinematic equivalent of stepping barefoot into a murky Wisconsin swamp and finding a taxidermied frog laughing at you. Bill Rebane delivers what might be the only film where “eco-horror” meets “did someone glue a man to a frog costume?” and somehow survives on sheer absurdity. The premise is… charmingly insane: … Read More “Croaked: Frog Monster from Hell (1982)” »