“Coming Soon” is not a movie. It’s a 55-minute clip show in a cheap tuxedo, puffing on a cigar made of celluloid, leering at the golden age of Universal horror while picking popcorn kernels out of its dentures. Directed by John Landis and stitched together like Frankenstein’s Monster on a discount budget, the film is … Read More “Coming Soon (1982): John Landis’ Nostalgic Dumpster Fire in a Tuxedo” »
John Landis’ The Blues Brothers is like a drunk uncle at a wedding reception—it starts off entertaining, maybe even charming, but by the third hour of slurred speeches and sweaty dancing, you’re wondering if someone should cut the mic and drive him home. It’s part musical, part chase film, part SNL-sketch-gone-feral, and depending on your … Read More “The Blues Brothers (1980): Mission from God or Just a Mission That Took Too Long?” »
Animal House didn’t just change comedy—it nuked it from orbit, danced on the ashes, and hosed the remains down with stale keg beer. Directed by John Landis with all the discipline of a rabid raccoon in a fraternity sweatshirt, this is the film that declared war on good taste, declared victory, and then mooned the … Read More “Animal House” (1978): The Film That Stuck a Middle Finger Up at Decency and Made It a National Pastime” »
You ever walk into a truck stop bathroom and find a stained, dog-eared comic book duct-taped to the urinal? That’s The Kentucky Fried Movie—a patchwork of absurdity, filth, and genius, produced with the grace of a drunken mime stumbling through a fireworks warehouse. And like that bathroom comic book, it’s offensive, it’s weirdly arousing in … Read More “The Kentucky Fried Movie” (1977): Greasy, Offensive, and Gloriously Stupid” »
By 1977, Mario Bava was like the aging lead singer of a once-great band playing to half-empty nightclubs, crooning past hits to disinterested drunkards. Shock—his final film as a director before cashing out of this mortal coil—is the cinematic equivalent of a farewell tour that forgot the setlist. It’s not so much a horror film … Read More “Shock (1977): Mario Bava’s Final Flick Is a Paranormal Faceplant” »
There are bad movies, and then there are movies that feel like a curse. The House of Exorcism isn’t just a bad movie—it’s a stitched-together cinematic crime scene, an unholy Frankenstein’s monster of regurgitated footage, bad dubbing, and last-minute possession. It’s what happens when studio executives sniff the trail of The Exorcist’s success and say, … Read More “The House of Exorcism (1975): Mario Bava’s Haunted Vomit Remix” »
If Mario Bava’s career were a wine cellar, Kidnapped (aka Rabid Dogs) would be that dusty bottle tucked behind the vintage giallos and the glowing Gothic reds, labeled “opened once in 1974, drank warm in 1998.” It’s an anomaly—a lean, grimy crime thriller from a man known for stylish horror. Gone are the colored gels, … Read More “Kidnapped (1974): Mario Bava’s Crime Caper That Forgot to Pack Tension” »
There are films that wrap themselves in riddles. Then there’s Lisa and the Devil, which doesn’t just wrap—it duct-tapes, zip-ties, and throws the riddle in a blender. Mario Bava’s 1973 fever dream is what happens when a director forgets he’s supposed to make sense and instead takes acid with a mannequin, a dead priest, and … Read More “Lisa and the Devil (1973): Bava’s Beautiful Death March Into Surreal Hell” »
By 1972, Mario Bava had already delivered eerie Technicolor nightmares, helped give birth to the giallo genre, and practically made blood into a cinematic art form. So when Baron Blood came shuffling onto the screen like a drunk relative in a moth-eaten cape, expectations were cautiously optimistic. Maybe it wouldn’t reinvent horror, but at the … Read More “Baron Blood (1972): Bava’s Haunted Slumber Party for the Narcoleptic” »
Mario Bava’s A Bay of Blood is legendary in horror circles—credited with inventing the high body‐count slasher before slashers were trendy. But legend aside, this 1971 feast of severed limbs and moral bankruptcy feels hollow. It’s gore for gore’s sake, with characters as thin as tissue paper and suspense thinner still. It’s all sizzle—13 kills in … Read More “A Bay of Blood (1971): Bava’s Bloodbath Blueprint That Somehow Ran Out of Juice” »
