When Porn Meets Paranormal and Everyone Loses
There are bad found-footage movies, and then there’s Sx_Tape — a film so confused about what it wants to be that it should come with a psychiatric evaluation. Directed by Bernard Rose (yes, the Candyman guy, who should’ve known better), this 2013 disaster attempts to mix eroticism, possession, and found-footage horror into a single cohesive experience. The result feels less like a film and more like a crime scene: you’re not sure what happened, but you’re certain it was terrible.
This is a movie that wants to say something deep about sex, exploitation, and voyeurism. Instead, it says: “We rented an abandoned hospital, bought a camera, and forgot the script.”
The Premise: Amateur Hour in an Abandoned Hospital
Here’s the setup, and I use that term loosely: Jill (Caitlyn Folley) and Adam (Ian Duncan) are a young couple. He’s an aspiring filmmaker with delusions of artistic grandeur; she’s a painter with the kind of indecision usually reserved for ordering off a diner menu. Their relationship dynamic is the emotional equivalent of a dropped spaghetti plate.
Adam decides to make a documentary about Jill’s art — which, within about five minutes, devolves into him begging to make a sex tape instead. Nothing screams “healthy relationship” like a guy who wants to turn his girlfriend into a Criterion-level sex project.
During a drive, they pass by the Vergerus Institute for Troubled Women — a name that sounds like a deleted level from Silent Hill 2. Adam, ever the romantic, suggests hosting an art show there. Because what woman wouldn’t want to display her creative vision in an abandoned asylum rumored to have performed illegal abortions?
Jill, naturally, thinks this is a great idea, because Sx_Tape exists in a universe where no one has ever seen a horror movie before. They break in, wander around, and start filming their “intimate” moments — which is really just code for “let’s make the audience deeply uncomfortable for reasons unrelated to horror.”
The Horror (If You Can Call It That)
After some awkward banter and half-hearted attempts at foreplay, Adam ties Jill to an operating table because “it’ll be sexy.” What could possibly go wrong? Well, apparently everything, because the second he leaves her alone, Jill gets attacked and possessed by a ghost named Nicolette — the restless spirit of a lobotomized patient who, much like the audience, has been trapped in this institution far too long.
When Adam returns, Jill acts a little off. He doesn’t notice, because this is Sx_Tape, where everyone’s emotional range hovers between “stoned” and “brain-damaged.” They proceed with more bad sex, more nosebleeds, and an escalating series of moments that make you wonder if Bernard Rose lost a bet.
Soon, they’re joined by Jill’s friend Ellie and her sleazy boyfriend Bobby, who exist solely to die and remind us that bad decisions breed company. The foursome explores the hospital, argues a lot, and stumbles upon medical records hinting at the building’s sinister past. Unfortunately, every discovery lands with all the impact of a deflated balloon. The pacing is so slow that by the time someone finally gets shot, you’re rooting for the ghost.
The Found Footage Curse: Now with Extra Shakiness
Found-footage horror, at its best, immerses you in realism. Sx_Tape instead immerses you in nausea. The camera work is so jittery it feels like it was shot by a caffeinated toddler. The “documentary” setup is abandoned halfway through, leaving the footage conveniently edited from multiple impossible angles — because apparently even spirits appreciate continuity editing.
The lighting is inconsistent, the sound design is schizophrenic, and the editing feels like it was done with a butter knife. There are moments where you can literally see the boom mic shadow. It’s less “haunting realism” and more “public access nightmare.”
The Characters: Dumb, Dumber, and Dead
Let’s start with Adam, the aspiring auteur. He’s the kind of boyfriend who thinks “spontaneity” means trespassing on haunted government property. His character arc consists of ignoring every red flag, filming his girlfriend during moments of distress, and dying exactly the way you’d expect — confused, half-naked, and out of focus.
Jill, our protagonist, spends the first half of the movie being objectified and the second half being possessed, which is somehow an improvement. Caitlyn Folley tries her best, but she’s stuck in a script that treats her as both muse and meat. Her descent into madness is supposed to be chilling; instead, it’s like watching someone method act through a yeast infection.
Ellie and Bobby are textbook horror movie filler: loud, horny, and disposable. Bobby, in particular, deserves a Darwin Award. He brings a gun to a ghost fight and still manages to lose.
The Ghost Story That Forgot It Was a Ghost Story
The titular “tape” is supposed to serve as a record of supernatural events — except the movie can’t decide if it’s about ghosts, possession, or just really bad relationship dynamics. The haunting itself is confusingly portrayed: Nicolette, the ghost, seems to alternate between sexually frustrated, homicidal, and just plain bored.
When Jill finds Nicolette’s old records, the movie tries to get “deep,” revealing that Nicolette was lobotomized and possibly raped. This should be horrifying, but the film handles it with all the nuance of a drunk frat boy delivering a book report on The Bell Jar.
Instead of using Nicolette’s story to explore trauma or exploitation, Sx_Tape turns her into a punchline in a porno with paranormal aspirations. It’s tasteless in the way only a movie that thinks “rape ghost” is a marketable concept can be.
The “Erotic” Element: Fifty Shades of Nope
Let’s address the elephant in the room—or rather, the elephant tied to a gurney. Sx_Tape sells itself as an erotic thriller, but the only thing aroused here is your desire to turn the TV off. The sex scenes are neither sexy nor thrilling. They’re awkward, clinical, and about as erotic as watching two mannequins try to mate during an earthquake.
Every attempt at sensuality is sabotaged by bad lighting, worse dialogue, and the omnipresent feeling that you should probably call a therapist afterward. It’s as if Bernard Rose wanted to explore intimacy but accidentally filmed a PSA about why intimacy is terrifying.
The Finale: The Ghost Wins, the Audience Loses
By the final act, the movie completely collapses into incoherence. Jill, now fully possessed, kills Ellie and Bobby, then turns on Adam, offering him oral sex before shooting him in the face. (Yes, that’s how it ends. Subtlety left the building an hour ago.)
Then we get a flashback to Nicolette’s lobotomy, filmed like an artsy student project from someone who just discovered symbolism. Finally, the movie ends with Jill—still possessed—biting off a man’s penis. Roll credits. No explanation, no closure, just one last metaphorical kick to the groin.
It’s unclear if the filmmakers thought this was shocking, empowering, or avant-garde. It’s really just gross.
The Aftertaste: A Masterclass in Missed Potential
Here’s the tragedy: Sx_Tape could’ve been something. With its eerie setting, its premise about voyeurism and exploitation, and a director with Candyman on his résumé, this had the makings of a tight, unsettling horror film. Instead, it’s 80 minutes of mood swings, shaky footage, and unearned nudity.
The ghost isn’t scary. The characters aren’t likable. The editing isn’t coherent. And the message — if there is one — is lost somewhere between the blood splatter and the bad lighting.
Even the title is misleading. It’s not sexy. It’s not scary. It’s just… Sx. Like someone censored the word “sex” out of shame, which honestly fits the film’s energy.
Final Thoughts: Delete Your History
If you ever find yourself tempted to watch Sx_Tape, do literally anything else. Stare into a blank screen. Rewatch Paranormal Activity. Record your own home video about a haunted microwave — it’ll have more plot and better acting.
This isn’t a movie; it’s a cinematic accident, a horror-comedy of errors that mistakes sleaze for substance. It’s the rare found-footage film that actually makes you wish the footage had stayed lost.
Verdict: 1 out of 5 stars.
Because no one should suffer through a movie that proves even ghosts have better taste than this.
