Ah, the Old West — that mythical land of tumbleweeds, whiskey, and the occasional undead outbreak caused by cosmic rocks. The Dead and the Damned (also known as Cowboys & Zombies) gallops into this territory like a drunk horse with a limp, promising gunslingers, scalp-hungry zombies, and gritty survival. What it delivers, however, is more like a community theater remake of The Walking Dead filmed by people who just discovered what a tripod is.
Directed by René Pérez and written by Pérez and Barry Massoni, this 2010 Western horror mashup is the cinematic equivalent of finding fool’s gold — shiny at first glance, but worthless once you pick it up. And yet, it’s so blissfully unaware of its own absurdity that it almost deserves a medal for persistence.
Almost.
🧟♂️ The Good, the Bad, and the Brain-Dead
Set during the California Gold Rush, The Dead and the Damned opens with Mortimer (David Lockhart), a bounty hunter whose facial hair does more acting than he does. Mortimer’s latest assignment? Capture Brother Wolf (Rick Mora), a Native American accused of rape. Mortimer, ever the sensitive soul, decides the best way to catch his man is to recruit a local prostitute, Rhiannon (Camille Montgomery), to act as bait. Because when you think “law enforcement,” you think “sex worker honey trap.”
But before we can even get comfortable with this morally bankrupt setup, a group of miners stumble upon a glowing meteorite. And because this movie follows the strict “What’s the dumbest possible decision?” school of screenwriting, they immediately start hammering into it. Surprise! The meteor releases a mysterious gas that turns everyone into zombies faster than you can say “OSHA violation.”
From here, the film morphs into a rambling, low-budget nightmare where the only thing scarier than the zombies is the editing.
🏜️ When Western Meets Wish.com
Let’s talk production value — or rather, the complete absence of it. The movie was filmed near Yosemite National Park, which sounds impressive until you realize every scene looks like it was shot behind a Denny’s in Fresno. The costumes look like they were borrowed from a discount Halloween store that was going out of business in 1998.
The zombies? Imagine your uncle staggering around at a barbecue after five too many beers, and you’re halfway there. The “makeup” consists of gray face paint, ketchup blood, and the sort of contact lenses that scream “ordered online during a sale.” At one point, I’m pretty sure one of the zombies was just a guy who got lost on set and decided to commit to the bit.
And then there’s the lighting — or, as I like to call it, “The Guessing Game.” Half the time, you can’t see what’s happening because it’s too dark. The other half, it’s so overexposed it looks like someone smeared Vaseline on the lens.
🔫 Cowboys, Zombies, and Utter Confusion
Once the zombies show up, you’d think the movie might pick up speed. You’d be wrong. Instead, The Dead and the Damned manages to make zombie attacks feel like awkward improv scenes. The characters fire guns at random, the zombies shamble around without direction, and the camera shakes so violently you start to wonder if it’s also infected.
Mortimer, Rhiannon, and Brother Wolf form an uneasy alliance to fight off the undead horde. This should be a chance for some emotional growth or redemption, but instead, we’re treated to dialogue that sounds like it was generated by ChatGPT’s medieval cousin. “I do what I must for survival,” one character intones dramatically, while the other responds with, “We all must survive.” Profound stuff.
Meanwhile, the chemistry between the leads is deader than the zombies they’re fighting. Mortimer broods. Rhiannon pouts. Brother Wolf stares meaningfully at the horizon like he’s thinking, Why did I agree to this movie?
🧨 Special Effects: The Real Horror
Now, I’ve seen some bad CGI in my day, but this film’s effects make Sharknado look like Avatar. The meteorite looks like a glowing meatball thrown across the screen. When guns fire, the muzzle flashes look like someone added them in Microsoft Paint. At one point, a zombie’s head explodes — or at least, I think that’s what’s supposed to happen — but it looks more like a pixelated tomato bursting in slow motion.
And don’t even get me started on the sound design. Every punch, gunshot, and scream sounds like it was recorded in a tin can. There’s one scene where a zombie growls, and I swear it’s the same stock sound effect used for the MGM lion.
💀 The Undead Shall Bore You
Despite the title, the movie doesn’t seem to know if it’s about “The Dead,” “The Damned,” or just “The Disorganized.” There’s no tension, no pacing, and absolutely no reason to care about anyone. The zombies have all the menace of slow-moving extras trying not to trip. The heroes have all the charisma of wet cardboard.
Every now and then, the movie tries to get deep — throwing in a clumsy moral about greed, guilt, and manifest destiny. But it’s hard to take philosophical lessons seriously when they’re delivered by characters covered in what looks like store-brand barbecue sauce.
Even the action scenes are unintentionally hilarious. You can practically see the stunt coordinator yelling, “Okay, now swing the axe… but slower! We only have one fake head!”
🪓 The Horror of Monotony
The Dead and the Damned commits the ultimate sin for a horror film — it’s boring. I could forgive the laughable acting, the bargain-bin zombies, and the dialogue that sounds like it was translated through five different languages. But when your movie about gunslingers fighting the undead feels like a two-hour nap in sepia tone, you’ve lost the plot.
Scenes drag on endlessly, padded with repetitive shots of the same dusty landscapes and people walking nowhere in particular. The soundtrack, a bizarre mix of twangy banjo and ominous drones, doesn’t help. It’s like someone tried to make Ennio Morricone vs. The Chainsmokers.
By the final act, when the remaining characters make their “last stand,” you’ll find yourself rooting for the zombies — not because they’re scary, but because you want them to end the movie faster.
🪙 In the End, All That Glitters Ain’t Gold
Look, I get it — zombie Westerns are hard to pull off. But where other films like Bone Tomahawk managed to fuse horror and grit with actual craft, The Dead and the Damned is content to shuffle around like one of its own undead creations.
It’s not campy enough to be fun, not gory enough to be shocking, and not smart enough to be satirical. It just… exists. Like a tumbleweed of mediocrity blowing across the cinematic desert.
Still, there’s an odd charm to its sheer incompetence. It’s the kind of movie you might stumble upon at 3 a.m., half-asleep, wondering if you accidentally tuned into a high school film project with delusions of grandeur. And in that sense, maybe it’s the perfect metaphor for the Old West itself — full of ambition, grit, and a complete disregard for basic hygiene.
⚰️ Final Verdict
The Dead and the Damned is a movie that boldly asks, “What if The Good, the Bad and the Ugly had a lobotomy?” It’s a film where every creative decision feels like the result of a coin flip, where the living envy the dead, and where the audience, by the 60-minute mark, begins to envy them too.
If you’re looking for genuine horror, compelling characters, or even a coherent story — keep riding, partner. But if you want to watch a Western so bad it lassoed the wrong genre and strangled itself in the process? Saddle up.
Final Rating: ★½ out of 5 — “The undead ain’t the only thing lifeless here.”
