You know how some movies get lost in time, only to be resurrected later like some kind of zombie in a midnight graveyard? That’s the story of The Intruder—a 1975 horror film that somehow escaped the fate of most forgotten trash cinema by getting shelved by its distribution company and left to rot on a dusty shelf for decades. And why was it shelved? Well, after watching it, I’m going to assume it was a combination of unwatchable acting, laughably bad writing, and the fact that even Mickey Rooney couldn’t salvage the mess. But hey, it was eventually resurrected in 2017 for a Blu-ray release, so I guess some poor soul somewhere thought it was worth dusting off. Now, we get to see it. And you should probably reconsider your life choices before pressing play.
The Intruder tries, I suppose, to make you feel suspense with its gold-hunting plotline and a killer stalking an island of people, but honestly, it feels like a high school theater production gone horribly wrong. You have an island, a killer, and gold—basic ingredients for a decent slasher. What could go wrong? Well, everything. It’s as if every person involved was reading the script for the first time and decided to wing it.
The Plot is As Thin as a Paper Cut
Here’s what happens: a group of people, including some rather questionable actors (more on that in a bit), lands on an island in search of gold. Spoiler alert: they’re stalked by a killer. No, it’s not the most inventive storyline, but it could have been entertaining. Could have. If the script wasn’t so excruciatingly dumb and the pacing wasn’t so painful that you’d think someone’s trying to bore you into submission. And trust me, they do. The film seems to want to be a combination of horror and adventure, but instead it’s more like a 90-minute nap with a couple of awkward jump scares thrown in to remind you that you’re still alive.
The “intruder” in question? Some faceless killer who stalks the island in hopes of ending the lives of our lucky group of “adventurers” searching for gold. I won’t spoil the ending, but trust me—it’s not worth the wait. By the time the “reveal” happens, you’re left wondering what you’ve been doing with your life and why you decided to spend time watching this incoherent mess instead of doing literally anything else.
Mickey Rooney’s… “Performance”
If you’re hoping for some inspired acting to make this watchable, you’ve come to the wrong place. Mickey Rooney is Captain Jennings, but the only thing he seems to be captain of is an island of confusion and half-hearted dialogue. I’d say it’s a performance if it wasn’t more like a collection of scenes where Rooney looks like he’s been handed a script 10 minutes before filming and told to “just go with it.” It’s like watching your grumpy grandpa try to act in a school play that he didn’t know he was part of. He’s unconvincing and gruff, but not in the charming way—more in the “I’d rather be doing anything else” way. Every line he delivers feels like it’s forced out of him, and honestly, you can almost hear him mentally counting the minutes until he can get out of there.
Ted Cassidy: Bigger Than the Script, and Almost as Flat
Then we’ve got Ted Cassidy, known for playing Lurch on The Addams Family. And I get it—casting him was a way to bring in some height, some muscle, maybe a little presence. But good lord, Ted looks like he’s been dropped into a movie where his role is nothing more than to stand there like a living tree stump, occasionally grunting and looking ominous. If he were any less expressive, we’d have to start using him as a reference for the word “vacant.” The man’s a physical presence, yes, but he has the emotional range of a paper bag in a rainstorm. His character is essentially a big guy with zero depth and zero reason for being there other than to serve as a human-shaped wall.
Yvonne De Carlo: The One You’re Here For (Sort of)
And then there’s Yvonne De Carlo, who plays DePriest. If you’ve heard of her, it’s probably because of The Munsters, where she managed to bring a bit of life to a similar role of “monster matriarch.” In The Intruder, however, she’s tragically underused and exists in a film that doesn’t know what to do with her talents. Instead of commanding attention, she’s relegated to a backdrop of confusion, stepping in and out of scenes, making you wonder why such a classic actress was reduced to appearing in this half-baked disaster. She might be the most competent actor in the room, but that’s not saying much when the rest of the cast is busy treating every scene like a bad rehearsal.
The Horror That Couldn’t Scare a Roach
Now, let’s talk about the “horror.” If you find slow-motion murders, poorly timed jump scares, and uninspired kills terrifying, then this is your Masterpiece Theatre. Otherwise, you’re left with a series of missed opportunities that only deepen the sense that you’re watching a film actively trying to bore you. The killer’s stalking is so limp and uninspired that it feels less like a threat and more like a light drizzle on a lazy Sunday afternoon—annoying, but not something you’ll remember after 10 minutes.
A Forgotten Film That Should Stay Forgotten
And then we come to the infamous backstory of this film: shelved for years, thought to be lost, and resurrected in 2017 with a Blu-ray release. Can you imagine being one of the people who discovered this film and thought, “Yes, this needs to be preserved!”? Maybe they were just saving it for a rainy day. But here’s the thing: the film deserved to be forgotten. If you’re looking for a good time, I’d suggest doing something else. Anything else. Take up knitting, go for a walk, read a book, drink a bottle of tequila and wait for the blackout—anything that keeps you from sitting through The Intruder.
Conclusion: A Waste of Time, Except for the “Blu-ray Discovery” Thing
In the end, The Intruder is less a forgotten gem and more a rusty old nail that was only found because someone tripped over it while looking for a real movie. The acting is bad, the pacing is worse, and the horror? Well, if you’re looking for genuine terror, look elsewhere. The movie’s only redeeming quality? It’s still got the same cold charm as a vintage horror movie—it looks bad, it feels bad, and by the end of it, you’ll be wondering if it’s too late to ask for your 90 minutes back. Still, if you’re curious about what movies looked like when they were made without any idea of how to make them watchable, The Intruder offers a glimpse into that world. But let’s be clear: that’s not a world you need to visit.
