The Howl That Whimpers
There are bad werewolf movies, and then there’s Werewolf: The Beast Among Us (2012), a film so allergic to originality that it spends its entire runtime chasing its own tail. Directed by Louis Morneau — the same man who once gave us Bats(another misunderstood creature feature about bad CGI) — this movie promises gothic terror and ends up delivering an overcooked stew of clichés, cheap wigs, and dialogue so wooden it could stake a vampire.
If you ever wondered what would happen if Van Helsing and Scooby-Doo had an awkward child and raised it in the backlot of a Romanian tax shelter, wonder no more.
The Tragic Tale of Charles, the Boring Beast Hunter
The film opens in the 19th century, where a young boy named Charles watches a werewolf brutally kill his family — and then immediately defeats it by dropping a chandelier. Yes, in this cinematic universe, IKEA lighting is more effective than silver bullets.
Flash forward twenty-five years, and Charles (Ed Quinn, looking like he wandered off the set of a steampunk convention) has grown into a professional werewolf bounty hunter. He’s joined by a ragtag team of specialists who look less like hardened mercenaries and more like an Eastern European folk band that lost its accordion.
Their mission? Hunt down a “new breed” of werewolf that can transform three nights in a row. It’s supposed to sound terrifying, but mostly it just makes you wonder if the wolfman’s suffering from insomnia.
Doctor, Doctor, Give Me the News (I’ve Got a Bad Script Blues)
Enter Daniel (Guy Wilson), a young apprentice doctor who dreams of curing people instead of mutilating them — though the script doesn’t seem to know which he’s doing half the time. Daniel is intelligent, handsome, and painfully naïve, which in a horror movie is roughly the same as wearing a “Please Kill Me” sign.
He offers his help to Charles, who reluctantly agrees, because every monster hunter apparently needs an eager intern who doesn’t know how to load a gun. Meanwhile, Daniel’s girlfriend Eva (Rachel DiPillo) begs him to give up this whole monster-hunting thing and go to medical school. Sensible advice, but this is a Universal horror sequel, so of course he ignores her and heads straight for the nearest foggy graveyard.
Meet the Wolf, Same as the Old Wolf
You might think a film called Werewolf: The Beast Among Us would, at some point, deliver a scary werewolf. You’d be wrong.
The titular beast looks like it escaped from a PlayStation 2 cutscene, its fur textured like wet carpet and its movements about as fluid as an animatronic bear at Chuck E. Cheese. The first time it appears, you don’t gasp in terror — you check your Wi-Fi connection to make sure the movie isn’t buffering.
And yet, despite the creature’s low-rent appearance, the townsfolk are terrified. They spend half the movie running around screaming “It’s the beast!” which is hilarious, because the only real beast here is the editing.
The Supporting Cast of the Damned
Every character feels imported from a different, worse movie.
There’s Jaeger, a rival werewolf hunter whose main skill seems to be tripping traps and dying loudly. There’s Stefan, a suave ladies’ man with cheekbones sharp enough to open letters, who spends most of the film flirting with Eva and glowering like he’s auditioning for a cologne commercial titled “Lycanthrope.”
And then there’s Doc (Stephen Rea), the town physician with a sinister streak. He’s the kind of doctor who probably prescribes arsenic for headaches and then sends you a bill for moral decay.
The Romani villagers exist solely to deliver cryptic warnings and fiddle ominously in the background, because apparently every 19th-century monster movie needs one scene where someone in a shawl whispers, “The curse runs deep, my child.”
The Plot Thickens… Then Congeals
For a brief moment, the film pretends to be a mystery. Who is the werewolf? Could it be the charming apprentice? The creepy doctor? The guy who keeps looking at the moon like it owes him money?
Shockingly, it’s Daniel. (Try to contain your surprise.) The script treats this revelation like a twist, but the audience figures it out roughly fifteen minutes in — around the same time Daniel starts waking up shirtless, covered in scratches, and mumbling, “I feel strange.” Subtlety is not this film’s strong suit.
When Daniel finally learns the truth, his mother (played by Nia Peeples) begs him to flee with her. Instead, he chooses to dramatically monologue about destiny — because nothing says “tragic transformation” like badly delivered exposition.
The Monster Mash: A Battle of Mediocrity
The climax of the film is supposed to be an epic showdown between Daniel, the tragic werewolf, and Stefan, who turns out to be a wurdalak (because why stop at one overused monster trope when you can have two?).
Their fight scene is a masterclass in disappointment. Picture two guys wrestling in a fog machine while someone off-screen waves a rubber claw. The choreography is so clumsy it looks like an interpretive dance about indecision.
Daniel eventually impales Stefan on a spike, because apparently, even vampires in this movie are allergic to basic architecture. The doctor shows up, confesses to being evil (surprise!), and is promptly shot. Daniel turns human again, kisses Eva, and gets Charles’ approval to be “the hunter now.”
You half expect Charles to hand him a business card that says Werewolf Solutions, LLC.
The CGI That Time Forgot
Visually, Werewolf: The Beast Among Us looks like it was edited on a laptop powered by moonlight and regret. The effects are a grab bag of glowing eyes, rubber claws, and green-screen smoke. Every transformation scene feels like the movie itself is trying to hide behind a curtain out of embarrassment.
And yet, despite its Syfy Channel-level visuals, the film takes itself deathly seriously. Every shot is drenched in artificial gloom, every line delivered as if it’s Shakespeare for werewolves. The result is a movie that’s not scary enough to be horror, not funny enough to be camp, and not coherent enough to be either.
Dialogue Written by a Full Moon
The script features gems like:
“The beast can smell fear… and cheap Romanian wine.”
Or my personal favorite:
“You are the hunter now.”
It’s unclear whether that line is meant to be empowering or a death sentence. Either way, Ed Quinn delivers it with the same enthusiasm as someone ordering a sandwich.
Stephen Rea, meanwhile, looks like he’s mentally calculating his paycheck in every scene. You can almost hear him thinking, “Just one more line, and I can afford that new roof.”
The Real Curse: Mediocrity
The biggest problem with Werewolf: The Beast Among Us isn’t its low budget, its clumsy direction, or its rubbery monster effects — it’s that it’s boring.
Even bad horror movies can be fun when they lean into the absurd. This one insists on being serious, but there’s no tension, no wit, and no bite (pun absolutely intended). It’s a film about werewolves that forgets to have any teeth.
You don’t feel fear — you feel fatigue. You don’t gasp — you yawn. Watching it feels like staring at a full moon and waiting for something interesting to happen, only to realize it’s just a badly lit streetlamp.
Final Thoughts: The Beast That Should’ve Stayed in Its Kennel
In the end, Werewolf: The Beast Among Us isn’t a beast at all. It’s a mildly irritated chihuahua wrapped in fake fur and melodrama.
It tries to blend action, horror, and romance but ends up neutering all three. The result is a movie that’s less Underworldand more Underwhelming.
If you’re craving a gothic monster flick, you’d be better off rewatching The Wolfman — or just howling at the moon yourself. Either way, it’ll be scarier, cheaper, and twice as entertaining.
Verdict: ★★☆☆☆
Like a bad case of lycanthropy, Werewolf: The Beast Among Us starts with potential and ends in regret. The true horror isn’t the monster — it’s realizing you wasted 93 minutes of your life.
