If you ever wondered what happens when you shoot a vampire movie in less time than it takes most people to recover from food poisoning, Brotherhood of Blood is your answer. Directed by Peter Scheerer and Michael Roesch—two names that feel less like directors and more like aliases on a witness protection form—this 2007 vampire flick is proof that just because you can make a film in 12 days doesn’t mean you should.
This is a horror movie where the biggest horror is realizing you’ve still got an hour left. It stars Victoria Pratt as Carrie, a vampire huntress who spends most of her screen time looking like she’s negotiating with her agent in her head, Sid Haig phoning it in with all the subtlety of a chainsaw, and Jason Connery reminding us that nepotism can be cruel. Oh, and Ken Foree is here too, probably wondering if his agent confused this with a Dawn of the Dead reunion gig.
The Plot (And I Use That Word Generously)
So here’s the setup: Carrie is chained in a cellar by Pashek, the vampire king, played by Sid Haig, who delivers his lines like he’s been awake for 72 hours on a diet of whiskey and spite. She knows that Vlad Kossei, some vampire-demon hybrid who’s scarier than the vampires themselves, is coming back to wipe out everyone. This is supposed to give the story urgency. What it actually gives is the overwhelming desire to check your phone every three minutes.
The story jumps back and forth between Carrie’s “mission gone wrong” and the vampire hunters trying to break her out. There’s also the looming doom of Vlad Kossei, who is supposed to be this terrifying ancient evil but feels more like a guy who’d lose a fight with Count Chocula. The vampires fear him, the hunters fear him, and the audience fears they’ll never get these 90 minutes back.
Performances: A Masterclass in Shrugs
Victoria Pratt spends the film alternately grimacing and whispering in dark rooms. She’s supposed to be the tough female lead, but the only thing she convincingly slays is the audience’s patience.
Sid Haig, usually a reliable dose of chaos, looks like he filmed all his scenes in one afternoon between naps. He delivers his dialogue with the energy of a man reading a grocery list out loud, though admittedly, hearing him snarl about eternal darkness while clearly thinking about dinner is almost entertaining.
Jason Connery is here too, and if his last name sounds familiar, yes—he’s Sean Connery’s son. Unfortunately, he inherited only the accent and not the charisma. If Sean was Bond, Jason is the discount vodka you regret buying after three shots.
Ken Foree, who once stared down zombies with swagger, now spends most of his time standing in dim light, sighing like a man who’s wondering how he went from Dawn of the Dead to this nonsense.
Pacing: Hurry Up and Wait
For a movie about vampire hunters infiltrating a nest of the undead, Brotherhood of Blood has all the momentum of a DMV line. The film promises action but mostly delivers people standing in dark rooms talking about action that might happen later.
Scenes stretch on with characters whispering exposition while staring at each other, which I assume is supposed to be suspenseful. Instead, it feels like eavesdropping on a table read for a community theater production of Blade.
And the editing—oh lord, the editing. Shot in 12 days, cut like someone sneezed on the Final Cut timeline. The transitions are so abrupt you’d think the film itself was trying to escape.
Atmosphere: Cheap Wine in a Crystal Glass
The movie desperately wants to be claustrophobic, and in fairness, it does capture the feeling of being trapped in a small space with no hope of escape. Unfortunately, that space is your living room as you watch this film.
The “dark cellar” setting could have worked, but it looks like someone shot it in a janitor’s closet with two light bulbs and a fog machine bought from Party City. The vampires lurk in the shadows, mostly because showing them clearly would reveal the costumes look like leftovers from a Halloween clearance bin.
Gore & Effects: Bargain Bin Buffet
For a vampire film, there’s remarkably little bite (pun intended). The gore is minimal, the fangs look like they were ordered in bulk from eBay, and the blood has the same consistency as ketchup left out in the sun. When characters are killed, it’s with the passion of a stagehand knocking over a mannequin.
Even Vlad Kossei, the Big Bad, is a letdown. He’s supposed to be this terrifying vampire-demon hybrid, but he comes across like a cosplayer who got lost on his way to Comic-Con. The hunters and vampires talk about how dangerous he is, but when he shows up, you half expect him to start handing out flyers for his goth band.
The Writing: Exposition, Exposition, Exposition
The dialogue is about 80% exposition, 10% vague threats, and 10% Sid Haig growling “you’ll never escape!” Every other line is a character explaining the lore of the vampires, the prophecy of Kossei, or reminding us that “time is running out.” It’s the cinematic equivalent of being cornered by a drunk stranger at a bar who insists on telling you about his Dungeons & Dragons campaign.
Dark Humor Highlights
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Sid Haig looks like he’s seconds away from demanding a chair and a sandwich in every scene.
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The vampire hunters are somehow less intimidating than the kids from Scooby-Doo.
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The “ancient evil” Vlad Kossei feels like a rejected boss fight from a Castlevania knockoff.
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Characters keep talking about an apocalypse that’s coming “tonight,” which makes you wonder if tomorrow’s just going to be fine again.
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Shot in 12 days—and every second feels like they filmed it in real time.
Final Verdict: Bloodless, Soulless, Hopeless
Brotherhood of Blood is a vampire film with no fangs, no bite, and no reason to exist. It wastes a cast of horror veterans by chaining them to a script that feels like it was scribbled on a napkin during lunch break. The action is nonexistent, the suspense is DOA, and the villain is laughable.
If you’re a hardcore fan of Sid Haig or Ken Foree, maybe you’ll find a crumb of amusement watching them trudge through this disaster. Otherwise, the only thing scary about this movie is that it got distributed by Ghosthouse Underground, the same label Sam Raimi attached his name to. Even Raimi must have winced when he saw the final cut.
Final Score: 1 out of 5 blood bags, and that’s only because Sid Haig growling half-asleep still has more charisma than most of the cast awake.
