Ah, Snowbeast—a movie that brings together all the elements of classic horror and adventure: the snowy Colorado Rockies, a ski resort, a bloodthirsty monster, and some of the most wooden acting you’ve ever seen. Oh, and don’t forget the charming 1970s television special effects. If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to watch a Bigfoot movie that’s more about missed opportunities than actual thrills, then Snowbeast is the film for you. The problem is, “thrills” might be the last thing you’d find here—unless, of course, you find watching a man in a Bigfoot suit lumbering around in snow amusing.
The Plot: Snow, Beasts, and Boredom
Let’s break it down: Gar Seberg (Bo Svenson), an ex-Olympic skier, returns to his hometown ski resort with his wife Ellen (Yvette Mimieux) in tow. This should be a perfect opportunity for a second chance at life, but the Snow Carnival is quickly overshadowed by the disappearance of some vacationers. Local legend holds that the culprit might be a Yeti or Bigfoot, but the sheriff (Clint Walker) quickly concocts a more plausible story—an angry bear is on the loose, so no need to get into any weird supernatural talk. Meanwhile, resort owner Carrie (Sylvia Sidney) is more concerned about losing business than dealing with a bloodthirsty creature, because nothing says “great leadership” like covering up a string of brutal murders.
As the plot meanders forward, Gar is reluctantly pushed into hunting down the monster, despite not really wanting to kill it. What does Gar need to see to change his mind? Oh, you know, just the brutal remains of a victim—because nothing says “kill the beast” like blood and guts strewn across the snow. The movie continues with the slowest-paced manhunt imaginable, full of awkward moments where you wait for the creature to show up but are instead treated to a lot of skiing and men looking at maps.
Eventually, after a long and not-at-all-stressful series of events, Gar and his band of merry misfits track the creature to the woods, where it proceeds to attack. The finale is an epic struggle—by which I mean, Gar stabs the Bigfoot with a ski pole, and the creature falls off a cliff. That’s it. The beast is dead, and so is your interest in the film.
The Acting: Wooden Couldn’t Begin to Describe It
Let’s talk about the cast. Bo Svenson plays Gar Seberg, a man who’s about as interesting as a wet sock. His performance is so dry you could dust for footprints in the desert and still find more emotion than Bo brings to the table. He delivers his lines with the subtlety of a rock being thrown into a lake, with no hint of depth or genuine feeling. His “reluctance” to kill the Bigfoot feels about as convincing as a flat soda.
Yvette Mimieux, as his wife Ellen, has the unenviable job of playing the concerned spouse, but her acting style is more “deer in headlights” than “wife of the year.” She’s supposed to be an expert on Sasquatch documentaries, yet when the beast appears, her reactions are more “meh” than “my god, we’re all going to die!”
Clint Walker as Sheriff Paraday is the only one who seems to get the memo that this is supposed to be a tense situation. Unfortunately, his role is mostly to talk about the missing people and pretend like he’s going to do something about it. The dialogue is so heavy-handed that it practically drips off the screen, leaving you wondering if Walker was just in it for the paycheck. And then there’s Sylvia Sidney, as Carrie Rill, whose primary purpose is to look concerned and constantly worry about losing business. She’s a walking billboard for “How to Ruin a Suspenseful Moment with One Line of Dialogue.”
The Monster: The Most Underwhelming Bigfoot Ever
Now, onto the creature itself. The Bigfoot in Snowbeast is, well, let’s just say it’s… something. The monster is so underwhelming, you might mistake it for someone’s uncle in a Halloween costume. You can almost hear the actor in the suit panting beneath the rubbery mask. The film spends so much time avoiding showing the monster in full that, when it finally does, the payoff is laughable. If you were hoping for a terrifying, imposing Bigfoot, you’re about to be sorely disappointed. Instead, you get a shaggy, mildly scary “thing” that looks like it would be more comfortable at a local costume party than terrorizing a ski resort.
The attempts at suspense are painfully obvious—there’s no genuine sense of dread when the Bigfoot lumbers around. The film does its best to build tension by having characters “hear noises” or see “shadows,” but it’s all so predictable you could write the next line of dialogue yourself.
The Direction: How to Make Bigfoot Boring
Director Herb Wallerstein attempts to inject suspense into the film, but his methods come off as painfully outdated. The pacing is glacial, and the film has all the tension of a sleepy afternoon nap. There’s no urgency or excitement when the characters are running from the beast—just a long, drawn-out sequence of people wandering around snowy woods and wondering what will happen next. Spoiler: it’s usually nothing.
Wallerstein seems content with stretching out moments of nothingness for far too long, hoping that by the time the monster does show up, you’ll at least care. But here’s the catch: you won’t. The film is caught in a perpetual cycle of being boring and then awkwardly trying to ramp up the tension. When the Bigfoot finally appears, it’s so unremarkable that you’ll wonder why it even took this long.
The Music: Trying Too Hard to Be Dramatic
The score is your typical 1970s TV movie fare—unremarkable and overly dramatic. It’s as if the music is trying to convince you that something important is happening, but it’s really just a bunch of people trudging through snow. If the music were any more intense, you’d think an apocalypse was coming—except it’s not. It’s just some people trying to survive against a Bigfoot who is just as tired of being in this movie as you are.
The Final Verdict: A Snowballing Disaster
Snowbeast is one of those films that sounds like it could be fun, but in execution, it’s about as exciting as watching a snowstorm settle in. It’s slow, dull, and full of performances that wouldn’t excite even the most die-hard Bigfoot enthusiasts. The monster is laughable, the direction is clueless, and the characters are more interested in pointing out how uninteresting everything is than doing anything remotely thrilling.
If you’re looking for a monster movie that will leave you trembling with fear or even just slightly entertained, Snowbeastwill leave you shivering, but it’ll have nothing to do with suspense or terror. Instead, you’ll be cold from sheer boredom.
