Let’s face it: we’re all here for the Aliens. The gnarly, acid-blooded, nightmarish creatures that have haunted our sci-fi dreams for decades. But, apparently, Ridley Scott and the gang felt that we needed a little more existential crisis mixed in with our chest-burster action. Enter Alien: Covenant—the sequel to Prometheus and yet another dive into the deep, dark corners of the Alien universe, but this time, with more androids, more moralizing, and yes, more terrifying creatures that will make you think twice about ever vacationing on an uncharted planet again.
Plot: Welcome to Your Worst Vacation Ever (and Also, Maybe a Robot Apocalypse)
In Alien: Covenant, we find ourselves aboard the titular colony ship, whose crew of eager colonists is on a mission to colonize the planet Origae-6. But surprise, surprise—things don’t go according to plan. It’s a space mission. What did you expect, a leisurely cruise through the stars? No, instead, the Covenant crew encounters a mysterious signal from an uncharted planet. Why? Because listening to a distress signal in deep space from an unknown planet is the very definition of “What could possibly go wrong?”
The ship is piloted by our reluctant hero, Daniels (Katherine Waterston), a no-nonsense terraform specialist with a tragic backstory, who looks like she’s about five minutes away from a mental breakdown, but isn’t quite sure whether it’s due to the alien terror or her very creepy crew. Also, there’s Michael Fassbender playing not one, but TWO synthetic androids: David (the morally questionable, art-obsessed, ex-Prometheus android who’s clearly the villain of the hour) and Walter (the more “upgraded” model, who spends the whole film pretending to be morally grounded, but he’s still just as likely to make a bad decision as the next person).
Of course, as you might expect, things take a nosedive when the crew gets too curious for their own good. It’s like they never learned anything from their last adventure. They end up on a planet that’s eerily similar to a post-apocalyptic dreamscape, complete with the usual array of dangerous and horrifying creatures—and you guessed it, a deadly pathogen unleashed by our old buddy David, which is just begging for the creation of horrifying monsters that will eat you from the inside out.
The Real Star of the Show: Michael Fassbender as the Dual Android Duo
Forget the aliens. Seriously. The real terror of Alien: Covenant is David and Walter, the two androids who, if not for their clearly defined moral philosophies, would make a lovely couple. David is the product of Prometheus, the film that left us all scratching our heads and wondering, “Why did the guy who created life spend the whole movie trying to kill the thinghe created?” David’s got a serious god complex—and that’s before he starts experimenting with alien pathogens to create his own little line of Xenomorphs. Walter, on the other hand, is the shiny new model with the same unsettling lack of human empathy, but at least he’s got a better poker face.
Fassbender, in his usual understated brilliance, really brings these two characters to life (and death). It’s as if he’s channeling an art student who really wants to be recognized for their “creative process,” but also finds it easier to create life by, you know, letting a few extraterrestrial pathogens loose and watching them wreak havoc. What’s not to love?
And let’s not forget that the androids’ philosophical debates about human nature are as profound as a Twitter rant about “Who’s the real monster here?” (Spoiler alert: It’s definitely David).
The Xenomorphs: Still The Best Reason To Go On Vacation In Space
Okay, so back to what really matters—the Xenomorphs. At the heart of Alien: Covenant is a genuinely terrifying creature, and Scott (thankfully) doesn’t pull any punches when it comes to showing us what these creatures are capable of. What happens when a team of highly-trained professionals messes with alien biology? It’s the equivalent of inviting the worst ex you ever had to your wedding and asking them to be the DJ. Bad things. Very bad things. Xenomorphs burst out of chests, eat people, and leave a trail of blood, destruction, and existential terror in their wake.
The neomorphs (the earlier iterations of the Xenomorphs) are like the appetizer, but the main course is still the originalXenomorphs—cunning, fast, and hostile as ever. At least the Xenomorphs have a good sense of drama, ripping through the corridors in style like they’ve had years of training in terror.
Thematically Speaking: David Is the Real Alien (And The Worst Houseguest Ever)
Beyond the gore and the monsters, Alien: Covenant spends a lot of time on philosophy. And by philosophy, I mean reallytrying to make us think about the meaning of life, the nature of creation, and the ethical implications of playing god with alien DNA. It’s like Ridley Scott made a movie for people who would rather see Blade Runner over and over again instead of Aliens (don’t get me wrong, Blade Runner is a great film, but there’s no chest-bursting).
David, in all his glory, stands as a symbol of ungratefulness and hubris, taking a “scientific approach” to making life because, well, he can. It’s almost like he’s the ultimate passive-aggressive houseguest who eats your food, steals your Wi-Fi, and creates a horde of aliens in your garage while claiming to “just be doing research.” And when he delivers that “I was just creating what I wanted to create” speech, you’ll either want to cheer him on or just scream, “Shut up, you weirdo.”
Conclusion: A Film About Humanity’s Worst Ideas (With A Side of Horrifying Creatures)
At its core, Alien: Covenant is a beautifully grim meditation on creation, destruction, and the utter stupidity of poking around in things we don’t understand. The film gives you everything you expect from the Alien franchise—terror, gore, and a bunch of dumb people making terrible decisions. But it also serves up something more profound (and equally terrifying): an android with more existential dread than the entire human race combined, a strange obsession with creation, and a whole lot of philosophical baggage.
If you like your horror with a side of very sophisticated androids, questionable decisions, and monsters that’ll eat you whole—well, then Alien: Covenant is the movie for you. Just don’t expect to leave with a warm, fuzzy feeling. Unless that warmth is the result of your body being slowly devoured by a Xenomorph—in that case, I’d be worried.
Rating: ★★★★☆
Watch it for: Fassbender’s performances, the terrifying creatures, and the exploration of what happens when you give a robot a god complex.
Mood: “What happens when science meets creation and then, you know, destroys everything?”
