Joe Dante—director of the mischievous Gremlins and satirical horror auteur—swished his camera into the late‑’90s with Small Soldiers, an idea so perfectly retro it could only have been conceived during a nostalgia flashback in a toy aisle: small toys, tiny guns, and explosive firepower meant for 4‑year‑olds. Because nothing says “family entertainment” like children ducking … Read More “Small Soldiers (1998): Toy Soldiers With Red Alert, But No Strategy” »
There are movies that feel like time machines. Matinee is one of them—taking you back to 1962, splitting lanes between Cold War anxiety and campy B-movie charm, and inviting you to snack on popcorn while a rubber-suited monster eats the projectionist alive. Directed by Joe Dante (Gremlins, Innerspace), this film isn’t just nostalgia—it’s escapism with … Read More “Matinee (1993): Joe Dante’s Love Letter to Drive‑In Horror—With More Laughs Than a Lip-Synced Skeleton” »
Let’s be clear: Gremlins 2: The New Batch is not a movie. It’s a fever dream, a corporate prank, a middle finger to the concept of sequels, and possibly the result of someone daring Joe Dante to make Batman but with slimy puppets and an exploding microwave. In 1984, Gremlins gave us a sharp little … Read More “Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990): When Chaos Has a Sequel and Cocaine Writes the Script” »
Joe Dante’s The ’Burbs is one of those movies that sits on the cinematic fence like a squirrel too indecisive to pick a power line. It’s not quite horror, not quite comedy, not quite satire—and yet it’s all three, stumbling through tone changes like a drunk guy trying to find the bathroom at a backyard … Read More “The ’Burbs (1989): Paranoia, Trash Cans, and Tom Hanks’ Nervous Breakdown in Suburbia” »
There are movies that feel like they were born from a cocaine-fueled lunch meeting in 1980s Hollywood—and then there’s Innerspace. A sci-fi comedy adventure about a hotshot test pilot getting miniaturized and accidentally injected into a neurotic grocery store clerk? With Dennis Quaid flying through intestines and Martin Short turning into Jim Carrey’s spiritual uncle? … Read More “Innerspace (1987): Dennis Quaid Gets Shrunk, Martin Short Gets Weirder, and Joe Dante Gets It Right” »
Joe Dante is a director who once gave the world Gremlins, a movie that made us afraid of microwaves and midnight snacks. So when Explorers hit theaters in 1985, parents assumed they were in for another spooky, kooky rollercoaster. Instead, what they got was an interstellar wet noodle—a movie that starts with promise and ends … Read More “Explorers (1985): Goonies in Space, Written by an Eight-Year-Old Tripping on Robitussin” »
In 1983, Twilight Zone: The Movie crash-landed into theaters with four directors, one iconic theme song, and more tonal inconsistency than a cocaine-fueled writing session in a Hollywood bungalow. It was meant to be a tribute. An homage. A love letter to Rod Serling’s sci-fi morality play in black and white. But what we got … Read More “Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983): One Plane Crash Away From Perfection” »
There’s something inherently charming about late ’70s horror: the grainy film stock, the bell-bottomed victims, the off-brand Psycho knockoffs. But The Silent Scream (1979) is the kind of movie that proves not every scream deserves to be heard. In fact, by the end of this sluggish, confused, and borderline accidental horror film, you’ll be screaming … Read More “The Silent Scream (1979): The Scream Is Silent Because the Script Put It to Sleep” »
Before Sharknado gave us digital carnage and before Anaconda gave us Jon Voight’s weird accent and predatory smirk, Joe Dante’s “Piranha” was quietly swimming under the radar with its mutant fish, questionable military ethics, and enough fake blood to make a butcher wince. Released in the summer of 1978, Piranha was clearly born in the … Read More “Piranha (1978): A Fish Story With Teeth, Beer, and B-Movie Brass Balls” »
There are films that age gracefully—like a vintage wine or a black-and-white classic flickering in the corner of a dive bar TV. Then there are films that age like a glass of milk left in a Louisiana brothel with the windows open. “Pretty Baby” (1978) is the latter. What was once dressed up as “art” … Read More “Pretty Baby (1978): A Padded Cell of a Period Piece With a Creep Mustache” »