Let’s be honest: Amityville Exorcism is a film that asks the question: “What happens when you throw a bunch of clichés, bad special effects, and a demon-possessed daughter into the Amityville Horror blender?” Well, the answer is here—and spoiler alert: It’s not pretty. This 2017 direct-to-video disaster—sorry, I mean film—directed by Mark Polonia, tries to … Read More ““Amityville Exorcism” – A Recipe for Disaster (with a Side of Subpar Exorcism)” »
Let’s face it: we’re all here for the Aliens. The gnarly, acid-blooded, nightmarish creatures that have haunted our sci-fi dreams for decades. But, apparently, Ridley Scott and the gang felt that we needed a little more existential crisis mixed in with our chest-burster action. Enter Alien: Covenant—the sequel to Prometheus and yet another dive into … Read More ““Alien: Covenant” – Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Xenomorphs” »
Introduction: Welcome to the Farm – Where the Gravy Train Has Left the Station It’s not every day you come across a horror film based on a Stephen King novella, let alone one that’s set in a dusty corner of Nebraska where murder, rats, and regret take center stage. 1922 is exactly that type of … Read More “1922 (2017): A Tale of Guilt, Rats, and Bad Life Choices” »
Introduction: An Ocean Full of Sharks and Regret Picture this: you’re on a vacation in Mexico, recovering from the emotional wreckage of a breakup, and your idea of healing is to get in a cage and watch some sharks. No, really. That’s how 47 Meters Down kicks off: two sisters, Lisa (Mandy Moore) and Kate … Read More “47 Meters Down (2017): The Ocean’s Not So Friendly… and Neither Are the Sharks” »
Introduction to Spooky Teenage Drama Imagine living in a house where things go bump in the night, and every flicker of a lightbulb feels like a bad omen. Now, picture being a teenager with a “third eye,” which, as you’ll soon discover in The 3rd Eye (Mata Batin), is far less about seeing into your … Read More “The 3rd Eye (2017): Paranormal Activity Meets Teen Angst—A Ghostly Love Story” »
The Plot Twist You Didn’t Expect… Except You Did Zoombies isn’t so much a “horror film” as it is a zoo employee’s nightmare come true. Picture this: You’ve just signed up for what’s supposed to be a fun internship at the Eden Wildlife Zoo. Little do you know, your onboarding process involves far more “bite” … Read More “Zoombies (2016): The Zoo Where Everyone’s on a Strict No-Membership List” »
Once Upon a Time in Bad Taste John R. Leonetti’s Wolves at the Door is the kind of horror movie that feels like a dare. Specifically: “I dare you to make a movie about one of the most infamous real-life murders in Hollywood history and somehow make it less scary than a soggy episode of … Read More “Wolves at the Door (2016): When History Meets Horror—and Trips Over a Sledgehammer” »
Welcome to the End of the World, Population: Too Horny Let’s start with the obvious — We Are the Flesh (Tenemos la carne, 2016) is not a movie you “watch.” It’s a movie you survive. It’s an art installation disguised as an apocalypse, a fever dream soaked in bodily fluids, and a cinematic dare that … Read More “We Are the Flesh (2016): A Fever Dream of Filth, Faith, and Freakish Freedom” »
Welcome to Gokseong: Population — Mostly Cursed Na Hong-jin’s The Wailing is the kind of movie that grabs you by the throat, whispers an ancient curse in your ear, and then politely offers you a bowl of rice while you contemplate the end of humanity. Released in 2016, this South Korean Lovecraftian fever dream blends … Read More “The Wailing (2016): When Your Village Gets Possessed and Your Faith Goes on Strike” »
Welcome to Hell’s Waiting Room If you’ve ever looked at a hospital and thought, “You know what this needs? More tentacles and fewer functioning adults,” then The Void (2016) is the film you’ve been manifesting. Directed by Steven Kostanski and Jeremy Gillespie, this Canadian cosmic horror masterpiece takes the best parts of John Carpenter’s The … Read More “The Void (2016): A Lovecraftian Bloodbath Wrapped in a Hospital Gown” »