A Very Merry Massacre If Home Alone had been directed by someone who binge-watched The Texas Chain Saw Massacre on Christmas Eve, it might have looked a lot like Red Christmas. Written, directed, and produced by Craig Anderson, this 2016 Australian horror flick is the kind of holiday movie that makes Die Hard look like … Read More “Red Christmas (2016): Home for the Holidays, Covered in Blood and Good Intentions” »
When a Franchise Should’ve Stayed Buried Some reboots breathe new life into a franchise. Raaz: Reboot, on the other hand, exhales heavily, trips over its own clichés, and falls face-first into a pile of expired horror tropes. Written and directed by Vikram Bhatt — a man who once made decently atmospheric horror films but now … Read More “Raaz: Reboot (2016): The Horror of Watching This Movie Sober” »
The Miracle of Life, Now With Added Murder There are few films that manage to combine prenatal care and premeditated homicide with such charm, wit, and gore as Prevenge. Written, directed by, and starring Alice Lowe—who somehow found time to make the film while actually pregnant—this 2016 British black comedy slasher proves that motherhood isn’t … Read More “Prevenge (2016): When Mother Knows Best… and Everyone Else Dies” »
Till Death (and Dementia) Do Us Part If Phantasm: Ravager were a person, it would be that lovable old uncle who keeps telling the same insane story at family gatherings — and somehow, you still want to hear it. It’s uneven, bizarre, occasionally incoherent, and yet strangely moving. After five films, 37 years, and more … Read More “Phantasm: Ravager (2016): The Ballad of Reggie and the Spheres That Wouldn’t Die” »
Paging Dr. Ironside There’s nothing quite like watching Michael Ironside chew scenery like it owes him money. Patient Seven, a 2016 horror anthology directed by multiple filmmakers and loosely inspired by Asylum (1972), gives Ironside full permission to snarl, sneer, and psychoanalyze his way through a gallery of the deranged. The result? A deliciously twisted, … Read More “Patient Seven (2016): The Doctor Is In, and He Prescribes Madness” »
Welcome to the Door That Should’ve Stayed Closed There are films that redefine horror and those that make you want to redefine your life choices. The Other Side of the Door (2016) proudly belongs in the latter category—a supernatural film so relentlessly mediocre it makes opening an ancient cursed gateway to the underworld sound like … Read More “The Other Side of the Door (2016): Knock Knock, Who’s There? Regret.” »
The Horror of Having Nothing New to Say There are horror movies that chill your spine, and then there’s Mummy – Save Me, a film that tickles your patience until it dies a slow death. Directed by Lohith H., this 2016 Kannada-language supernatural “thriller” claims to be a terrifying exploration of motherhood, grief, and ghosts. … Read More “Mummy – Save Me (2016): When Motherhood Meets Mild Poltergeist and Maximal Melodrama” »
A Vehicle for Disaster There are bad movies, and then there are movies so conceptually ridiculous that you start rooting for nature to take over. Monolith (2016), directed by Ivan Silvestrini, belongs squarely in the latter category—a 90-minute endurance test that asks, “What if your Tesla trapped your baby and your brain checked out?” The … Read More “Monolith (2016): When Your Smart Car is Smarter Than the Script” »
A Branch Too Far There’s an old saying: if a tree falls in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, does it make a sound? After sitting through The Lost Tree, the better question is—if a horror movie happens and nobody cares, is it still a movie? Brian A. Metcalf’s The Lost Tree … Read More “The Lost Tree (2016): A Horror Film So Wooden It Makes Its Own Forest” »
A Delightfully Grim Waltz Through Gaslit London There’s a certain perverse joy in watching a film that treats serial murder like an art form—and The Limehouse Golempirouettes through its own darkness with gleeful precision. Directed by Juan Carlos Medina and scripted by Jane Goldman (whose pen bleeds equal parts wit and wickedness), this 2016 Victorian … Read More “The Limehouse Golem (2016): Murder, Music Halls, and Misery with Style” »