Every so often, a horror movie comes along that reminds you why you sleep with the hallway light on and keep your phone flashlight app open like a digital crucifix. Lights Out—the 2016 supernatural thriller that turned a short YouTube scare into a $148 million box office monster—does exactly that. Directed by David F. Sandberg … Read More “Lights Out (2016): A Love Letter to Darkness, Dysfunction, and Flashlight Batteries” »
There are movies that take you on a journey. Then there’s Last Bus, a 2016 Kannada-language psychological thriller that doesn’t so much take you on a journey as tie you to the bumper and drag you through 100 minutes of confusion, screaming, and cheap fog machine smoke. Written, directed, co-produced, and musically composed by S.D. … Read More “Last Bus (2016): The Bus Ride That Should Have Stayed Cancelled” »
Ah, Krampus Unleashed — a film that dares to ask the question, “What if we took an ancient European demon of Christmas lore and dropped him in the middle of Arizona with a cast of community theater dropouts?” And then it answers that question with a 90-minute cinematic coal lump so dry, so joyless, and … Read More “Krampus Unleashed (2016): When Christmas Horror Should’ve Stayed Buried in the Desert” »
There are bad movies, there are forgettable movies, and then there’s Kill Command — a film so aggressively mediocre it feels like it was written by the very artificial intelligence it warns us about. Directed and written by Steven Gomez, this 2016 British sci-fi horror tries to be Aliens meets The Terminator and ends up … Read More “Kill Command (2016): When Machines Rise, But the Script Flatlines” »
Some movies burst onto the screen with big explosions, huge casts, and Oscar-bait dialogue. It Stains the Sands Redpolitely stumbles into frame, clutching a half-empty bottle of vodka, a blood-soaked scarf, and a zombie named Smalls. And somehow—it works beautifully. Colin Minihan’s 2016 horror gem is the rare zombie film that doesn’t need a horde … Read More “It Stains the Sands Red (2016): The Hangover Meets The Walking Dead—If The Hangover Had a Soul” »
Ah, Christmas. A time for warmth, family, togetherness—and in the case of Inside (2016), awkward home invasions, half-baked gore, and more screaming than a YouTube reaction channel. Directed by Miguel Ángel Vivas, this English-language remake of the 2007 French horror classic somehow manages to take one of the most brutal, disturbing films ever made and … Read More “Inside (2016): A Christmas Miracle, If the Miracle Was That You Stayed Awake” »
There are horror movies that make you scream, horror movies that make you laugh, and then there’s I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House — a film that makes you stare contemplatively into the void, sip your tea, and say, “Well, at least the mold’s having a good time.” Written and directed … Read More “I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House (2016): The Slowest Ghost Story You’ll Ever Love” »
“Evil” Might Be Too Strong a Word — Let’s Be Mildly Inconvenient If you’ve ever wanted to know what it feels like to be trapped in a malfunctioning VR headset for 90 minutes, Let’s Be Evil offers the full experience — without the fun, logic, or resolution. It’s a movie that tries to say something … Read More “Let’s Be Evil (2016): The Movie That Needed a Reboot Before It Was Even Made” »
Welcome to Lake Eerie, Population: Regret Every so often, a horror film comes along that reminds you why we invented fast-forward buttons. Lake Eerie is one of those films — a supernatural drama so breathtakingly dull, so bewilderingly written, and so catastrophically edited that it feels less like a movie and more like a hostage … Read More “Lake Eerie (2016): The Only Thing Scarier Than the Ghosts Is the Script” »
The Great Outdoors… and Other Terrible Ideas If you ever needed a reason to cancel your next camping trip, Killing Ground provides 93 of them — one for every minute of this savage, stomach-churning Australian horror gem. Written and directed by Damien Power, it’s a survival thriller that takes the rugged beauty of the Outback … Read More “Killing Ground (2016): The Outback, The Horror, and the Worst Camping Trip Ever” »