There are “bad” movies, and then there are movies so deliriously committed to their own nonsense that they loop all the way around and become deeply, weirdly delightful. Cutting Class belongs proudly in the second category. It is not a good slasher. It is not a serious slasher. It is not even a particularly coherent slasher. But it is an incredibly fun slasher—an absurd VHS carnival of hormonal teenagers, suspicious guidance counselors, malfunctioning faculty, and a killer who may or may not have escaped from an after-school special.
This is a film where Brad Pitt plays a dopey, jealous himbo in layered pastel shirts, where Roddy McDowall leers his way through an entire movie like he’s auditioning to play the world’s creepiest substitute teacher, and where the most pressing question isn’t “Who’s the killer?” but “How are any of these children still alive enough to attend class?”
It’s stupid. It’s funny. It’s ridiculous.
And that’s exactly why it’s great.
The Killer Is On the Loose, the Teachers Are Useless, and the Students Are Too Dumb to Notice
The plot—loosely defined—begins with Paula Carson, played by Jill Schoelen, the kind of final girl who survives not through intelligence but by being slightly less distracted than everyone around her. Her father, the local District Attorney (Martin Mull, who appears to be having the time of his life), goes on a hunting trip and gets shot in the chest with an arrow by a mysterious figure.
He then spends the entire movie crawling across the countryside trying to get home like a wounded pioneer. Meanwhile, Paula heads to school, completely unaware that:
-
A mentally unstable classmate has been released from an institution
-
Her boyfriend is one head injury away from joining the killer
-
Her teachers are unsupervised adults who desperately need HR oversight
-
Death is lurking in every hallway, closet, copy room, and woodshop
It’s the most honest portrayal of American high school ever filmed.
Dwight Ingalls: Brad Pitt Before He Learned How to Act, Bless Him
Brad Pitt—still young enough to look like a golden retriever in human form—plays Paula’s boyfriend Dwight. He is jealous, petty, charismatic, and constantly sulking like someone stole his skateboard.
He is also:
-
terrible at school
-
terrible at communicating
-
terrible at not being mistaken for a serial killer
Half the movie is Dwight brooding in hallways while wearing polo shirts that look like Easter eggs. He’s a himbo, he knows it, and the film knows we know it.
Watching him try to solve a murder is like watching a puppy try to do long division.
Brian Woods: The Most Obviously Suspicious Character Since Norman Bates
Donovan Leitch plays Brian Woods, Paula’s childhood friend who:
-
just got released from a mental institution
-
stares like an unblinking owl
-
speaks in cryptic nonsense
-
is clearly the killer… until the movie pretends he isn’t… until he obviously is again
Brian is the kind of horror character who walks into a room and you immediately hear ominous violins even if the soundtrack isn’t playing.
But because high schoolers are famously terrible judges of character, Paula starts befriending him. And it goes about as well as you’d expect.
Roddy McDowall as Principal Pervert, PhD
Roddy McDowall turns in the film’s most unhinged performance as Mr. Dante, a school administrator whose hobbies include:
-
leering at female students
-
wearing unsettling shorts
-
teaching absolutely nothing
-
existing solely to make the audience uncomfortable
He is the kind of educator who should be legally required to teach at a school that has no students.
McDowall appears to have read the script, realized it wasn’t good, and decided to crank his performance up to “cartoon villain.” It’s magnificent.
The Adults in This Movie Are the Real Monsters
The teachers and staff of this school deserve their own horror franchise.
There’s a gym coach who feels like he escaped from a military boot camp for children.
There’s a math teacher whose entire character arc is “gets murdered while grading tests.”
There’s a janitor who lurks around grinning like he’s storing secrets in his mop bucket.
It’s less a school and more a psychological experiment conducted without consent.
The Murders: Fun, Silly, and Needlessly Creative
This is a slasher where the killer:
-
copies a victim’s face using the school copy machine
-
murders through woodshop equipment
-
hacks a teacher to death with the enthusiasm of someone who’s late for lunch
-
sets up elaborate traps that would impress Wile E. Coyote
It’s gory enough to satisfy slasher fans, but ridiculous enough to make you laugh instead of cringe.
One scene features a student dangling from a rope in gym class—the kind of danger that would give today’s school district lawyers a heart attack.
Paula: A Final Girl Powered by Pure Confusion
Paula is a refreshing final girl because she’s not particularly clever, brave, or resourceful. She simply outlives everyone else by accident. Her biggest character trait is “being vaguely concerned.”
Still, Jill Schoelen anchors the film with sincerity, managing to look terrified even when the script isn’t giving her much reason beyond “there is a killer, probably.”
The Copy Room Murder: Cinema’s Greatest Middle-Finger to Faculty
One of the film’s most infamous scenes involves a teacher being murdered right on the copy machine. The killer slams his face down onto the glass and hits “PRINT” like he’s making a class handout.
Copies of the dying man’s face spill out like a morbid office memo.
This scene alone should earn the film a spot in the Slasher Hall of Fame.
The Finale: Shop Class, Hammers, Vices, and Absolute Nonsense
In the chaotic climax, Paula and Dwight are chased through the school by Brian, whose monologue includes unforgettable lines like:
“YOU’RE A YANKEE DOODLE DANDY TOO!”
He traps Dwight in a vice, tries to drill his skull open, and turns on every piece of machinery in shop class like he’s performing an industrial remix of Carmina Burana.
Paula ultimately bonks him with a hammer so hard he falls onto a running saw, because OSHA regulations do not exist in this universe.
And Then Paula’s Bleeding Father Rolls Into the Road Like Roadkill
After escaping, Paula and Dwight are driving away when her father—who has been crawling through nature for 48 hours—rolls into the road and scolds them for potentially cutting class.
It is arguably the greatest dad moment ever filmed.
**Final Verdict:
A Cheerfully Dumb Slasher That Survives on Charm, Camp, and Pure ’80s Energy**
Cutting Class is not a masterpiece. It is not even a “good” movie by traditional standards. But it is FUN—gleefully stupid, weirdly charming, full of energy, and performed with the sincerity of actors who truly believed they were making something important.
It’s the cinematic equivalent of eating a gas-station hot dog at midnight:
You know it’s trash, but you’re having a great time anyway.
Brad Pitt is adorable.
The kills are creative.
The tone is deliciously camp.
And the whole thing plays like a lost episode of Scooby-Doo directed by a fever-dream.
A positive review is easy:
Cutting Class is ridiculous, messy, over-the-top, and impossible not to enjoy.
Enroll immediately.
Just don’t expect to graduate with dignity.
