Elevator Pitch Gone Wrong
Dick Maas had one job: take his own 1983 killer-elevator film De Lift, update it for the shiny new millennium, and terrify audiences with the concept of being trapped between floors. Instead, he gave us Down, or as it’s known in the States, The Shaft—a title that sounds less like a horror flick and more like a cheap porno sold at a truck stop. The result? A 2001 disaster that somehow makes elevators less frightening than a three-hour ride on an escalator behind a tourist family.
The Setup: When Lightning Strikes…and Keeps Striking
The story kicks off with lightning hitting the 102-floor Millennium Building, which apparently powers the elevators with demonic dolphin brain chips (no, I’m not drunk, that’s literally the plot). From then on, elevators go haywire: pregnant women overheat and give birth, blind men vanish with their dogs, and a roller skater gets launched from the 86th floor like a human Pop-Tart.
Instead of exploring the terrifying claustrophobia of being stuck in an elevator, the film gleefully hurls people out of them like a Looney Tunes gag reel. If you’ve ever wanted to watch Naomi Watts investigate what looks like a malfunctioning mall lift for 110 minutes, congratulations, your oddly specific wish has been granted.
Naomi Watts: The Pre-Ring Humiliation
Yes, Naomi Watts is in this. Yes, she is wasted. Playing pushy journalist Jennifer Evans, she spends the film alternately nagging, investigating, and dodging collapsing elevators while wearing the expression of someone who just realized her agent lied to her. Two years later, she’d star in The Ring and scare the world with cursed VHS tapes. Here? She’s cursed with clunky dialogue like, “This elevator’s moving too fast!” delivered with the urgency of someone whose Starbucks order got messed up.
James Marshall: Action Hero by Default
James Marshall, who plays ex-Marine repairman Mark Newman, is our hero. His main talents include looking sweaty, delivering exposition no one asked for, and repeatedly stabbing a bio-organic brain with a screwdriver like he’s making elevator sushi. Watching him “battle” an AI elevator system is like watching a janitor fistfight an escalator. Spoiler: he doesn’t win through brains or brawn—he wins by finally firing a stinger missile down a shaft. Nothing says “suspense” like military-grade weaponry in a movie about public transport.
Michael Ironside: Villain in Search of a Better Movie
Michael Ironside plays Dr. Steinberg, a scientist who invented the organic chip that makes the elevators homicidal. His research originally involved dolphin brains (of course), which the movie treats as if that’s a normal steppingstone for robotics. Ironside spends the film chewing scenery and yelling at people like a man who just found out his kid downloaded Limewire onto the family computer. He gets his comeuppance when the killer elevator literally eats him. Which, honestly, is how we all want to go out after watching this film.
The Body Count: Gratuitous, Goofy, and Gory
The deaths in Down range from absurd to laughable. Highlights include:
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A guard’s head stuck between elevator doors like a watermelon in a hydraulic press.
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Roller skater boy, who rockets up 86 floors in two seconds before becoming sidewalk jam.
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A SWAT officer sliced in half at the waist, his torso sliding across the floor like an ice rink Zamboni accident.
Instead of scary, it’s comical. Dick Maas didn’t so much direct horror as he stitched together a Final Destination parody reel.
Terrorism, But Make It Elevators
Because this movie came out in 2001, the script desperately jams in a terrorism subplot. After an elevator massacre, the U.S. President (bless his offscreen cameo) declares it an “act of terror.” Which begs the question: who is terrorizing America with elevators? Is Osama Bin Laden in cahoots with Otis Elevator Company? It’s both tasteless and hilarious in hindsight, like watching politicians try to legislate against bad escalators.
The “Romance” Nobody Wanted
To make things worse, Maas thought, “What if this sci-fi horror also had a love story?” So, between dismemberments, Mark and Jennifer flirt. Their chemistry is as flat as an elevator music track. The grand romantic finale? They get trapped together in an elevator, and instead of panicking, Mark uses it as a chance to hit on Jennifer. Yes, after watching dozens of people die gruesome deaths by elevator, our hero decides this is the perfect time to make a move. Smooth, bro.
Production Value: 102 Floors of Cheapness
The movie was filmed mostly in the Netherlands with a sprinkle of New York exterior shots to pretend it’s American. The interiors look like generic office buildings you could rent for $50 a day. The “organic brain chip” controlling the elevators looks like a grocery-store Halloween prop someone left under a strobe light. And the CGI? Let’s just say Windows 98 could’ve rendered better.
The Soundtrack: Muzak of Madness
Every horror movie needs a soundtrack. Down provides elevator music—literally. Nothing screams “terror” like generic orchestral stings mashed together with sounds you’d hear while waiting for a dentist appointment. If you muted the film and played Britney Spears’ Oops!…I Did It Again instead, it would probably sync up better with the deaths.
Cannes Premiere: The Real Horror
The film premiered at Cannes in 2001, because apparently the festival needed filler that year. Imagine dressing in black tie, sipping champagne, and then watching Naomi Watts run from a homicidal elevator. Somewhere, a French critic probably muttered, “Mon Dieu, zis is why cinema is dying.”
Why It Fails: Death by Repetition
Here’s the fatal flaw: elevators are scary for one scene. Maybe two. An entire 110-minute feature? It’s like making a horror movie about escalators that sometimes speed up. Maas stretched the concept thinner than a lift cable. By the 20th “elevator doors snap shut violently” scene, you’re rooting for the damn thing to just kill everyone so you can go home.
Final Thoughts: Please Take the Stairs
Down (The Shaft) is proof that not all remakes deserve to exist. It wastes Naomi Watts, makes Michael Ironside look like he’s doing a parody, and somehow turns killer elevators into a slog. The tagline should’ve been: “This time, it’s going down…way down…into straight-to-video hell.”
If you’re considering watching this movie, don’t. Stand in an actual elevator for two hours instead—it’ll be scarier, and you might even get to your floor faster than this plot gets anywhere.
