The Blair Squatch Project
Remember when Eduardo Sánchez terrified the world with The Blair Witch Project—that grainy masterpiece that made us afraid of sticks, tents, and camcorders? Well, two decades later, he’s back in the woods. Only this time, the witch has been replaced by Bigfoot, and the fear has been replaced by… mild irritation.
Exists (2014) is a found footage monster movie that wants to rekindle that old wilderness paranoia, but instead ends up feeling like Jackass meets Animal Planet—minus the charm, the science, or the point. It’s the kind of movie where you root for Bigfoot, not because he’s scary, but because you desperately want him to end everyone’s suffering, including yours.
The Plot (Such As It Is)
A group of friends decide to head to a remote East Texas cabin for a weekend getaway. Already a terrible idea—nothing good has ever happened in a Texas forest. There’s Brian, the amateur filmmaker obsessed with documenting everything (so far, so found footage); Matt, his brother and reluctant voice of reason; Matt’s girlfriend Dora; and their friends Todd and Elizabeth, who exist mostly to die later.
Along the way, they hit something with their car—foreshadowing, or perhaps karma. Turns out they’ve accidentally run over a baby Bigfoot, which, as anyone with a basic grasp of horror tropes can guess, does not end well. The group soon finds themselves stalked by the creature’s very angry, very hairy parent.
Cue the screaming, the shaky cameras, the GoPro angles, and the constant “Dude, did you see that?!” dialogue that has plagued this genre since Cloverfield.
Found Footage Fatigue: The Shakier the Camera, the Cheaper the Scare
The problem with Exists isn’t just that it’s predictable—it’s that it’s lazy. The found footage gimmick worked in 1999 because it was fresh, raw, and unsettling. By 2014, it’s just a cinematic crutch. Sánchez seems to believe that every shot should be either a GoPro wobbling like a drunk pigeon or a night-vision blur of confused yelling.
At one point, the Bigfoot literally attacks while the characters are still filming themselves. Imagine being mauled by a mythical beast and thinking, “Hang on, let me make sure I’m in frame.” The result isn’t immersive—it’s migraine-inducing. You don’t feel like you’re there with them; you feel like you’re trapped inside a YouTuber’s failed camping vlog.
The Characters: Darwin Award Nominees, All of Them
Our intrepid crew might just be the least likable group of campers since Cabin Fever. Brian (Chris Osborn) is the wannabe documentarian who seems more concerned with getting a viral video than with surviving. Matt (Samuel Davis) is the Responsible Brother™, which in horror terms means he’s contractually obligated to die heroically later.
Todd (Roger Edwards) is the muscle-bound comic relief whose main contribution is shouting and poor decision-making. Elizabeth (Denise Williamson) is around just long enough to scream convincingly before becoming monster chow. And Dora (Dora Madison Burge), the girlfriend, exists mostly to look distraught while everyone else dies.
It’s not that the actors are terrible—they’re doing their best with what little script they have—but the characters are so underwritten you could replace them with cardboard cutouts and get the same emotional range.
Bigfoot: The Hairy Hero We Deserve
Let’s talk about the big guy. Played by Brian Steele (a man who’s made a career out of sweating inside monster suits), this Bigfoot is actually kind of impressive. He’s not your standard guy-in-a-rug costume—he’s menacing, muscular, and surprisingly emotive.
In fact, he’s the only character with depth. The humans killed his child, invaded his territory, and filmed it all for clout. Honestly, I’m on Team Sasquatch. His rage is justified. If anything, he’s the film’s antihero—a vengeful forest dad cleaning up the human mess.
There’s a tragic dignity to him, especially in the final scene where he spares the last survivor after realizing the carnage was all a tragic misunderstanding. That moment hints at what Exists could have been—a creature feature with empathy and moral complexity. Unfortunately, that nuance is buried under 80 minutes of GoPro chaos and bad decisions.
The Setting: East Texas Chainsaw Snoozefest
The Texas wilderness should feel ominous, vast, and isolating. Instead, it looks like a state park with good cell reception. Sánchez’s camerawork, meant to be gritty and immersive, mostly just captures leaves. Lots and lots of leaves.
The cabin—a classic horror trope—is disappointingly bland. It’s neither creepy nor atmospheric. It’s just… there. The production design feels like the crew borrowed a hunting lodge for the weekend and forgot to decorate. There’s no sense of geography or escalation—just a never-ending sequence of “trees, running, screaming.”
If The Blair Witch Project made the woods terrifying, Exists makes them boring.
The Soundtrack of Suffering
One of the best parts of Blair Witch was its eerie silence—the way the forest seemed to breathe. Exists replaces that subtle dread with constant, ear-splitting monster roars and the shrill panic of twenty-somethings who clearly skipped survival camp.
The creature’s cries are overused to the point of parody. After the tenth guttural roar echoing through the trees, you start to suspect Bigfoot’s not angry—he’s just trying to find his vocal coach.
The Found Footage Rules (and How This Movie Breaks Them All)
The found footage genre lives and dies by one rule: believability. The camera has to make sense. So why, pray tell, do these idiots keep filming while being chased by a giant ape-man?
Brian installs cameras everywhere—on bikes, helmets, trees—because apparently lugging a full media kit into the wilderness is just normal camping behavior. When the chaos begins, he never once considers dropping the camera to run faster. Even as his friends die gruesomely, he keeps shouting, “I got that! I got that!” like a sociopath working for TMZ.
By the end, when he’s weeping over corpses and still holding the camera steady, it stops being immersive and starts being absurdly funny.
The “Message” (If You Squint Hard Enough)
To its credit, Exists tries to have a moral: humans are the real monsters. We intrude, we destroy, we film it for likes. But that theme never quite lands because the script treats it like an afterthought. Instead of tension and guilt, we get yelling and explosions.
When Brian discovers they killed Bigfoot’s child, it’s supposed to be a gut punch. Instead, it plays like the setup for a wildlife PSA: “Remember, kids—don’t text and drive through cryptid habitats.”
A Director Lost in the Woods
Eduardo Sánchez is a talented filmmaker. The Blair Witch Project proved he can make terror out of nothing but twigs and paranoia. But Exists feels like him parodying himself. Every shaky cam, every off-screen scream—it’s déjà vu without the dread.
The film’s biggest sin isn’t that it’s bad—it’s that it’s forgettable. It plays like a first draft, a film made by someone haunted by their own legacy. You can feel Sánchez trying to reignite the old magic, but somewhere between the roar of the creature and the buzz of the GoPro, the spark drowns in mediocrity.
Final Thoughts: The Missing Link Between Horror and Comedy
Exists could have been great—a clever reinvention of Bigfoot mythology for the found-footage era. Instead, it’s a lumbering mess of clichés, shaky cameras, and unintentional comedy.
There’s an underlying tragedy here—not in the story, but in the wasted potential. The creature design is strong, the premise is solid, and yet the execution feels like a YouTube short stretched to feature length.
By the end, when Bigfoot spares the last survivor, you almost envy him. He gets to walk away from this movie. You don’t.
Final Verdict:
⭐️½ out of 5.
A found footage flick that should’ve stayed lost. If you ever wondered what “The Blair Witch Project” would look like with a fur suit and worse dialogue, congratulations—your answer exists.
