The Deal With the Devil Nobody Asked For
Brian Yuzna is no stranger to weird horror (Re-Animator, Society). So when he tackled a violent cult comic about a man who sells his soul for revenge and turns into a clawed anti-hero named Faust, you’d think we’d get something wild, grotesque, maybe even groundbreaking. Instead, we got Spawn on a shoestring budget, spliced with late-night Cinemax softcore, and sprinkled with dialogue so bad it feels like Satan outsourced the script to a middle school poetry club.
John Jaspers: The Least Convincing Demon Ever
Our hero John Jaspers (Mark Frost, not that Mark Frost, Twin Peaks fans) is a tortured artist who makes a deal with a man literally named “M.” Subtlety died in the first draft. John dons metal gauntlets with giant claws, looking less like a devilish avenger and more like Wolverine after a bad night at Comic-Con. He’s supposed to be terrifying, but watching him thrash around in rubber prosthetics is scarier for the stunt coordinator than for any character in the film.
Jade: A Psychiatrist With Benefits
Enter Dr. Jade de Camp (Isabel Brook), the psychiatrist who falls for John because… he stares at her in the shadows like a raccoon in heat? Their romance is the emotional anchor of the film, which is like saying wet cardboard is the structural foundation of your house. Their chemistry is so wooden that when they eventually have sex, it feels less like passion and more like a tax write-off. Jade’s tragic backstory (raped as a child, because of course the writers went there) is handled with all the sensitivity of a jackhammer in a maternity ward.
“M” for Mephistopheles, or Maybe Mediocre
Andrew Divoff, normally a reliable villain, plays M—the smooth-talking devil figure who hands John his powers. Imagine Al Pacino in Devil’s Advocate, but cheaper, sweatier, and stuck in a Eurotrash nightclub full of extras who look like they wandered in from a Marilyn Manson video shoot. M runs a secret cult called The Hand (not to be confused with Marvel’s ninja clan, who actually had budgets). His evil plan? Some vague demon ritual, some light sexual assault, and endless monologues about power. Satan clearly needed a new PR team.
Claire: Femme Fatale or Soap Opera Reject?
M’s wife Claire (Mónica Van Campen) is supposed to be seductive and treacherous. In practice, she comes across as if Elvira had a midlife crisis and joined a telenovela. She betrays M, shoots him, gets tortured, and ultimately serves as demonic cannon fodder. Her presence adds nothing but confusion, which, to be fair, is perfectly on brand for this movie.
The Gore: Splatter With Training Wheels
For a movie that won “Best Special Effects” at Sitges, the gore is about as shocking as ketchup on a hot dog. Yes, there are buckets of blood, rubber entrails, and the occasional dismemberment, but it all looks like it was filmed in someone’s garage. When Faust slices through bad guys, the effect is less “hellspawn avenger” and more “guy accidentally knocked over the paint bucket.” The award must’ve been given out ironically, or perhaps the judges were drunk.
Sex, Hell, and Leather Pants
This film is obsessed with sex, but in the most juvenile way possible. We get orgiastic cult rituals, awkward hospital confessions, and one spectacularly cringey scene where Faust and Jade hook up in his old apartment, claws and all. It’s supposed to be erotic but feels more like two mannequins being pushed together in a department store window. The soundtrack—equal parts generic metal and bargain-bin industrial—tries to sell the mood but instead makes you wish you had earplugs.
The Subway Scene: A Slice of Unintentional Comedy
Faust at one point literally slices a subway train in half while rescuing Jade. It should be badass. Instead, it looks like a cutscene from a PlayStation 1 game, complete with bargain CGI sparks and extras pretending to fall in slow motion. Watching this scene, you realize: yes, this is the superhero horror film the world forgot, and for good reason.
Trauma as a Plot Device
Jade’s childhood trauma becomes the deus ex machina of the movie. During M’s climactic demon ritual, Jade “remembers” her father was her abuser, which somehow cancels out M’s control and lets her break free. This revelation is dropped like a hot potato, never explored, and used only to justify the next round of blood and boobs. It’s exploitative, lazy, and manages to trivialize everything it touches. Horror can tackle dark subjects well—this movie uses them like garnish on a reheated pizza.
The Ritual to End All Patience
The finale is a blender of nonsense. M summons a demon, Jade offers her unborn child (surprise, she can’t have children), Faust kills a monster, Claire dies (again), and M gets stabbed. Contracts are burned, souls are freed, and John dies dramatically in Jade’s arms. It’s supposed to be tragic, but you’ll be too busy Googling “how long is left in this movie” to care.
The Verdict: Faustian Bargain? More Like Faustian Bargain Bin
Faust: Love of the Damned is a film that promises hellfire and damnation but delivers cosplay, bad latex claws, and dialogue written by someone who clearly skimmed a freshman philosophy book. It’s a superhero movie without thrills, a horror movie without scares, and an erotic thriller without any actual eroticism.
The only damned thing here is anyone who sat through it.
Final Word
If you’ve ever wanted to see what happens when Spawn, The Crow, and a Hot Topic clearance sale collide in the middle of a Spanish tax write-off, this is your movie. For everyone else: avoid it like a contract with the devil.
