Ah, It Happened at Lakewood Manor. If you’re a fan of absurdly slow-moving disasters, questionable decisions, and characters who seem to be making every possible mistake at every turn, then this made-for-TV film is definitely for you. With a plot so thin, it might as well be a pamphlet for how not to manage a hotel, Lakewood Manor is a 100-minute descent into madness, ant-infested terror, and the occasional bout of unintentional comedy.
Plot: Ants and Panic
In case you missed the title, yes, It Happened at Lakewood Manor involves ants. Not your everyday, garden-variety ants either. These are killer ants. And the horror of this film is not simply the millions of ants that overrun an aging hotel in the middle of nowhere, but also the slow, agonizing realization that most of the film’s characters are shockingly stupid.
The film kicks off with two workers stumbling upon a “swarm” of aggressive, venomous ants that seem to have developed a taste for violence. Naturally, they try to warn people about it. But who listens to the poor schmucks doing manual labor? They end up buried alive, and the ants are only getting started. The workers, now unceremoniously dead, are soon replaced by a mix of hotel staff, real estate magnates, and their unworthy sidekicks.
And that’s when the fun begins.
Anthony Fleming (Gerald Gordon), the stereotypically sleazy real estate mogul, arrives with his mistress Gloria (Suzanne Somers), and they begin plotting how to transform the Lakewood Hotel into a casino. Meanwhile, a hotel cook gets attacked by ants and dies. Not to be outdone by death and pests, the ants proceed to kill the cook’s assistant, too. It’s a buffet of carnage! But you know what’s really terrifying? The absolute lack of urgency shown by everyone involved. The real horror is how long it takes for these characters to grasp the severity of their situation. Ants are attacking and killing people, and instead of running for their lives, they’re arguing about land deals and having affairs. Talk about bad priorities.
Then, enter Peggy Kenter (Anita Gillette), a Board of Health inspector, who decides to quarantine the hotel instead of evacuating it. Oh, yes. Because that’s definitely the first thing you do when your guests are being killed by angry insects. Spoiler: that doesn’t go well. By the time Peggy realizes she’s being far too slow, the ants have taken over every nook and cranny, killing off any character not glued to the plot by sheer incompetence.
And just when you think things couldn’t get more absurd, they do. Enter the absurdly convoluted plan to defeat the ants. They try pouring water into trenches, followed by gasoline. As the ants march over the corpses of their fallen comrades to cross the stream, the authorities figure: “Hey, let’s just light that on fire!” Sure, that sounds reasonable. If only the ants were taking a lunch break, the humans might have a chance. Instead, they’re swarming faster than any fire department’s response time.
The tension builds—well, it would build, if not for the completely out-of-place moments of nonchalance. How are these people not screaming in terror as ants crawl all over them? Instead, they’re having heart-to-hearts and discussing the logistics of their soon-to-be-dead lives while ants are creating their own ant-agonizing horror show.
Characters: The Worst Decision-Makers Ever
The cast is a parade of people who really shouldn’t be in charge of anything, let alone a life-or-death situation involving killer ants. The protagonist, Mike Carr (Robert Foxworth), seems like a decent guy at first, trying to get a handle on the situation. But in every scene, he’s walking through a hotel that’s actively being overrun by insects and making the most dismal, delayed decisions possible. Not only that, but he has no idea what to do about the ants, which is pretty much everyone’s problem throughout the movie. They’re all just playing catch-up with a swarm of lethal insects. The plot could’ve been solved in minutes if someone had just thought to start sealing windows or, you know, running away earlier.
And let’s talk about the wonderfully inept villains—Anthony Fleming and his mistress Gloria—who are so distracted by their scheming about turning the hotel into a casino that they completely ignore the minor inconvenience of, oh, murderous ants roaming the halls. Who could blame them? That’s the kind of calm, detached attitude you need when insects are killing everyone in sight. It’s not that these characters are “bad” per se. It’s more that they seem totally unprepared for anything remotely resembling danger. Whether it’s casually watching people get mauled or standing there discussing business deals in the middle of a bloodbath, it’s clear that these people would lose to a houseplant in any survival scenario.
Ants: The Real Stars
Let’s face it—It Happened at Lakewood Manor isn’t a film about the human drama; it’s about ants. And not even cool, monstrous ants like in Them! (1954) or Starship Troopers (1997). These are just… angry little insects that, despite being highly intelligent and venomous, appear to operate under the same logic as a toddler having a tantrum. They just go where the chaos is and thrive on it.
The film does try to make the ants into some sort of villainous force, but ultimately, they’re more of a natural hazard than anything else. And much like the characters, the ants feel utterly helpless when faced with anything that requires even a tiny bit of intelligence. In fact, the ants actually take a backseat to the far more riveting discussions between Mike and the other main characters as they debate the best course of action. As if the ants are merely an inconvenient annoyance in the middle of a suburban picnic.
The ants’ ability to attack in swarms is terrifying, but let’s be real: it’s not the bugs that are frightening. It’s the fact that everyone in the movie behaves like an idiot for the whole runtime, making every situation worse. Honestly, if I had to spend more than five minutes with these characters in a crisis, I’d choose to face the ants rather than their bad decision-making skills.
Conclusion: Panic at Lakewood Manor, but Mostly Just Boredom
In summary, It Happened at Lakewood Manor is a film that promises horror but mostly delivers a series of utterly predictable moments of poor decision-making, over-the-top melodrama, and general incompetence in the face of very angry ants. It’s a fun ride if you’re in the mood for a slow burn where you can laugh at the absurdity of the characters’ choices. Unfortunately, this film falls into the trap of so many low-budget horror flicks: the more you watch, the more you realize the real monster isn’t the swarm of insects—it’s the incompetence of the people involved.
In a movie about killer ants, the horror of It Happened at Lakewood Manor isn’t in the insect attacks, but in how thoroughly inept everyone is at handling what should be a simple evacuation scenario. If you’re looking for a film that combines tense moments, intelligent creatures, and a survivalist storyline, this is definitely not it. But if you want to witness people making hilariously bad choices and barely escaping a swarm of angry bugs, well, you’re in for a treat.
