The World’s Fastest Zombies… in the World’s Slowest Movie
Some horror movies scare you because they’re tense, unsettling, and full of dread. Nightmare City scares you because you realize 15 minutes in that you’ve still got another 85 minutes to go. Directed by Umberto Lenzi, this “zombie” movie (he insists they’re not zombies, just “radiation sickness victims” — like that helps) features undead ghouls who can run, use weapons, and open doors… which somehow makes them less interesting than the slow, groaning variety. At least Romero’s zombies had personality. These guys are basically angry mimes in melted Halloween masks.
Dean Miller: The Hero Nobody Ordered
Our main character is TV reporter Dean Miller, played by Hugo Stiglitz — a man who delivers lines like he’s reading ransom notes to the camera. Miller just wants to interview a scientist about a nuclear accident, but instead witnesses a military plane land, out of which pours the ugliest, most well-armed Renaissance Fair cosplay crowd you’ve ever seen. They immediately start stabbing soldiers and drinking blood like they’re at a goth wine tasting. Miller runs away to warn the public, but the army shuts him down — apparently in this city, stopping panic is more important than stopping the people literally eating everyone.
The Makeup Budget Was Clearly Spent on Cigarettes
The infected don’t so much look like irradiated monsters as they do like they fell asleep on a tanning bed while applying papier-mâché to their faces. Some have head wounds, others look like they got in a fight with a barbecue grill. They’re supposed to be terrifying mutations, but they come off like your uncle trying to scare kids on Halloween after six beers. And yes, they can use knives, guns, and grenades, because nothing says “horror” like watching zombies fumble with machine-gun recoil.
Meanwhile, in the Subplots Nobody Cares About…
While the city collapses, we cut away from Miller to follow General Murchison, a man whose plan for containing the crisis is to do absolutely nothing and overthrow the mayor for… reasons? There’s also a married couple camping in the countryside, who get killed just so we can pad the runtime. Then there’s Major Holmes, who spends most of the movie trying to save his wife, only to find she’s infected and needs to be shot — which is the only time the movie flirts with actual emotional weight.
Set Pieces in Search of a Point
The movie lurches from location to location — hospital, power station, country homes, gas stations, churches, amusement parks — with all the narrative cohesion of a drunken pub crawl. Every scene plays out the same way: characters talk, zombies rush in, characters run away, repeat. You could literally watch any five-minute segment in random order and it would make just as much sense. And in case you were wondering, no, the amusement park finale isn’t thrilling. It’s just Miller and Anna shooting extras in cheap makeup before climbing a roller coaster to get rescued by a conveniently passing helicopter.
The Big Twist That Isn’t Big, or a Twist
Anna falls to her death, Miller looks distraught… and then wakes up! It was all a dream! But wait — it’s happening again, exactly the same way! This isn’t a twist; this is the movie admitting it just wasted your time. “The Nightmare Becomes Reality,” the tagline warns. In practice, that means Nightmare City becomes the nightmare of anyone forced to sit through it.
Final Verdict: Irradiated Garbage
Nightmare City tries to be different by making its undead fast, smart, and militarized, but all it really does is strip away everything that makes zombie movies fun. The makeup is lazy, the action is repetitive, and the plot could be summarized on the back of a matchbook. Worst of all, the movie is never scary, not even accidentally. It’s just loud, ugly, and smug about its own nonsense.
This isn’t a cult classic — it’s the cinematic equivalent of being trapped in an airport lounge with a drunk guy who wants to explain his screenplay to you for two hours. The only nightmare here is realizing you could’ve watched literally anything else.Cast Hugo Stiglitz as Dean Miller Laura Trotter as Dr. Anna Miller Maria Rosaria Omaggio as Sheila Holmes Francisco Rabal as Major Warren Holmes Mel Ferrer as General Murchison Sonia Viviani as Cindy Eduardo Fajardo as Dr. Kramer Stefania D’Amario as Jessica Murchison Ugo Bologna as Mr. Desmond Sara Franchetti as Liz Manuel Zarzo as Colonel Donahue Tom Felleghy as Lieutenant Reedman Pierangelo Civera as Bob, Jessica’s husband
