You’ll Never Believe What Crawled Out of the Editing Bay There are movies that age poorly, and then there’s Jeepers Creepers 3 — a sequel so unwanted, so profoundly confused, it feels like the cinematic equivalent of a zombie you forgot to decapitate. Released in 2017, sixteen years after the original, Victor Salva’s long-dormant franchise … Read More ““Jeepers Creepers 3” — The Movie That Should’ve Stayed Buried With the Creeper” »
Attack of the Killer Ants (and the Script) There’s a special place in cinematic purgatory for movies that manage to be both a homage and a warning. It Came From the Desert (2017) is one such film — an 87-minute exercise in what happens when nostalgia, low budget, and Finnish enthusiasm collide in the desert … Read More ““It Came From the Desert” — And It Should’ve Stayed There” »
Scream, but Make It Soft Serve There are bad movies. There are so-bad-they’re-good movies. And then there’s The Ice Cream Truck (2017), a horror-comedy that somehow manages to be neither horrifying nor comedic, unless you count the part where you realize you paid money to watch it. Written and directed by Megan Freels Johnston — … Read More ““The Ice Cream Truck” — A Melting Mess of Suburban Horror” »
A House of Horrors with No Plumbing (or Plot) There’s a certain bravery in making a sequel to a found-footage horror movie that already looked like it was filmed on a potato. The Houses October Built 2 (2017) is that kind of brave — the cinematic equivalent of sticking your hand back into the blender … Read More ““The Houses October Built 2” — When the Real Horror Is the Sequel Itself” »
Love, Death, and the Open Water Every marriage has its monsters. Some couples wrestle with jealousy. Others with communication. But in House by the Lake (2017), directed by Adam Gierasch, the monster has scales, gills, and a penchant for stealing your daughter. And somehow, it works beautifully. This low-budget psychological horror manages the near-impossible: it … Read More ““House by the Lake” — When Marriage Counseling Meets Aquatic Horror” »
Death Never Looked So Adorable If Groundhog Day and Scream had a baby while Mean Girls served as the sarcastic godmother, that baby would be Happy Death Day. Directed by Christopher Landon and written by Scott Lobdell, this 2017 black comedy slasher turns murder into self-improvement — because nothing builds character like dying forty times … Read More ““Happy Death Day” — A Slasher That Hugs You Before Stabbing You” »
Chapter One: Murders in Dikanka (And in Pacing) Let’s begin with the crime scene: Gogol. Origins (2017), a movie so convinced of its own genius that it mistakes every puff of fog for atmosphere and every epileptic seizure for plot development. Directed by Yegor Baranov and starring Alexander Petrov as the titular writer, it’s the … Read More ““Gogol. Origins” — A Horror Film in Search of a Pulse” »
Ah, Ghost Stories – a film that had all the ingredients to be a spooky, spine-tingling, supernatural thrill ride but instead turned out to be like a ghost – dead on arrival. Don’t get me wrong, I love me a good anthology horror film. The promise of creepy ghost stories, mysterious figures, and sinister apparitions … Read More ““Ghost Stories” (2017): The Afterlife of Boring Paranormal Investigations” »
Jordan Peele’s Get Out was hailed as a revolutionary film, lauded for its political commentary and social relevance. It also conveniently ushered in a wave of “smart horror” that supposedly makes you think about race, privilege, and exploitation. Well, it also makes you think about how the hell a horror movie can be both so … Read More ““Get Out” (2017): A Black Comedy with White People in the Passenger Seat” »
The Gateway, also known as Alpha Gateway, is an Australian science fiction film that attempts to combine grief, particle physics, and parallel universes into a movie that’s as perplexing as it is forgettable. Directed by John V. Soto, this movie is like that awkward family reunion where no one really wants to be there, but … Read More “Review of The Gateway (2017): Parallel Universes, Endless Disappointments” »