Breaking and Entering… into Mediocrity There are bad horror movies, and then there’s Intruder (2016) — a film so aggressively dull it makes watching paint dry feel like an extreme sport. Written and directed by Travis Zariwny (Cabin Fever 2016 — yes, that reboot nobody asked for), Intruder is a home invasion movie that forgets … Read More “Intruder (2016): When the Real Horror Is the Script” »
Possessed by Mediocrity Ah, Incarnate — the movie that dared to ask, “What if The Exorcist were directed by someone who thought the real problem with horror movies was too much tension?” Released in 2016 by Blumhouse Tilt (the “discount horror” wing of Blumhouse, apparently), this film manages to take a fascinating concept — psychological … Read More “Incarnate (2016): When Inception Met The Exorcist… And Both Wanted Their Money Back” »
A Charming, Cheerful Tale of Murder and Existential Dread Ah, small-town America—where the streets are empty, the snow never melts, and your elderly neighbor might be a supernatural monster harvesting lungs. Billy O’Brien’s I Am Not a Serial Killer takes that postcard-perfect Midwest imagery and dunks it headfirst into an embalming tank. It’s a film … Read More “I Am Not a Serial Killer (2016): A Coming-of-Age Story… With Disembowelments” »
If you ever wanted a film that combined The Blair Witch Project, Dot and the Kangaroo, and a dash of Aboriginal mythology stirred lovingly into a pot of existential dread — Hunting for Shadows is your ticket to a hauntingly beautiful nervous breakdown in the bush. Directed by Davo Hardy, this 2016 Australian horror gem … Read More “Hunting for Shadows (2016): When the Outback Eats You and You Still Say “Good On Ya”” »
There are movies that terrify you. There are movies that make you think. And then there’s House of Salem, a 2016 “horror-thriller” so soul-crushingly dull it makes you wish a real demonic entity would appear — not to haunt the characters, but to put the audience out of its misery. Written and directed by James … Read More “House of Salem (2016): When Even Satan Checks Out Early” »
There are bad movies, and then there are movies that make you question whether film as an art form was a mistake. Home(2016), directed by Frank Lin, is the cinematic equivalent of tripping over your own feet, falling down the stairs, and realizing the stairs are actually made of poorly written dialogue and discarded Lifetime … Read More “Home (2016): A Haunted House So Bad Even the Ghosts Want to Leave” »
If The Walking Dead is a screaming, blood-slicked nightmare about humanity tearing itself apart, Here Alone is the eerie, hungover morning after. Directed by Rod Blackhurst and written by David Ebeltoft, this 2016 post-apocalyptic slow-burn doesn’t come with flamethrowers, macho speeches, or cities exploding in CGI glory. Instead, it gives us something far more unsettling … Read More “Here Alone (2016): The End of the World Has Never Been So Quietly Beautiful (or Darkly Funny)” »
There are movies so good they haunt your soul, and then there are movies so weird they haunt your common sense. Ghosthunters (2016), directed by Pearry Reginald Teo and proudly released by The Asylum—the cinematic equivalent of a haunted dollar store—is absolutely the latter. A mockbuster riding the spectral coattails of Ghostbusters (2016), it dares … Read More “Ghosthunters (2016): Who You Gonna Call? Probably Not These People—But You’ll Have Fun Watching Anyway” »
Some horror movies make you scream. Others make you laugh. Fury of the Demon makes you want to grab your nearest film studies professor, shake them violently, and say, “This! This is why cinema exists!” Directed by Fabien Delage, this mockumentary about a mythical Georges Méliès film that drives audiences insane is part historical love … Read More “Fury of the Demon (2016): When Cinephilia Goes to Hell — Literally” »
There are horror movies that make you afraid to go into the woods—and then there’s The Forest, which makes you afraid to go to the theater. Directed by Jason Zada and starring Game of Thrones’ Natalie Dormer (twice, because apparently one Dormer wasn’t enough to save this mess), The Forest tries to mix Japanese folklore, … Read More “The Forest (2016): A Walk Among the Plot Holes” »