A Corpse to Die For Some horror movies start with a scream. Others start with a scalpel. The Autopsy of Jane Doe starts with both—and somehow, by the end, you’re left whispering “thank you” to a naked corpse that never says a word. André Øvredal, best known for Trollhunter, trades giant Norwegian monsters for something … Read More “The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016): A Slice of Supernatural Perfection” »
Hole-y Hell If you’ve ever stared into a Krispy Kreme box at 2 a.m. and thought, “What if these pastries turned on me?” — Attack of the Killer Donuts is the movie for you. Or maybe it’s your punishment. Scott Wheeler’s 2016 horror comedy takes the phrase “junk food” to its most literal extreme, offering … Read More “Attack of the Killer Donuts (2016): A Glazed and Confused Catastrophe” »
The Sixteenth Layer of Hell: Direct-to-Video Amityville There are horror movies so bad they’re good, and then there are horror movies so bad they make you question your commitment to life itself. Amityville: Vanishing Point belongs firmly in the latter category — a film so baffling, so unhinged, so utterly allergic to narrative coherence that … Read More “Amityville: Vanishing Point (2016): A Fever Dream Even the Demons Regret” »
Welcome to Amityville… Again. Unfortunately. There are bad horror movies, and then there are Amityville horror movies. By 2016, this franchise (and I use that word generously) had produced so many sequels, spin-offs, and “inspired by” disasters that you could practically build a small haunted subdivision out of them. And The Amityville Terror, directed by … Read More “The Amityville Terror (2016): When Even the Ghosts Want to Move Out” »
Pray for the Credits If you’ve ever wanted to watch a group of unlikable people wander into the woods, ignore every warning sign, and die badly while mumbling improvised dialogue into a shaky camera — congratulations, Altar is your holy grail. Directed by Matt Sconce, this 2016 found-footage horror film somehow manages to turn a … Read More “Altar (2016): Found Footage, Lost Everything Else” »
The House That Dumb Built If hell had an open house, Abattoir would be it. Directed by Saw II-IV alumnus Darren Lynn Bousman, this 2016 supernatural thriller attempts to construct a haunted house from literal murder rooms — and succeeds only in building a monument to confusion. Here’s the pitch: what if someone physically collected … Read More “Abattoir (2016): A Haunted House Built Entirely Out of Bad Decisions” »
The Lambs, the Tigers, and the Audience’s Sanity If horror movies were board games, Aadupuliyattam — which translates to “The Game of Lambs and Tigers” — would be the kind you find missing half the pieces, covered in dust, and somehow still trying to explain its rules for three hours. Directed by Kannan Thamarakkulam, this … Read More “Aadupuliyattam: When Horror Met Melodrama and They Both Fell Asleep” »
A Tale of Two Spirits: One Evil, One Boring The horror genre has a proud tradition of exorcisms, hauntings, and the eternal struggle between good and evil. 1920 London, however, tells a different kind of story — one about the eternal struggle between a movie and its audience’s will to stay awake. Directed by Tinu … Read More “1920 London: Possessed by Mediocrity” »
The Meta Horror Nobody Asked For If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if a filmmaker made a sequel to his favorite horror movie while slowly losing his mind and dragging the audience down with him, congratulations — your oddly specific wish has been granted. 2 Jennifer, the 2016 sequel to To Jennifer, is a … Read More “2 Jennifer: Found Footage, Lost Patience” »
The Undead Have Never Felt So Dead Inside There are bad zombie movies, and then there’s Zombie Killers: Elephant’s Graveyard — a film so lifeless, even the corpses seem to have given up halfway through. Watching it feels like attending a support group for people who miss The Walking Dead but can’t commit to actual … Read More “Zombie Killers: Elephant’s Graveyard — When the Apocalypse Dies of Boredom” »