Welcome to the Wild West, Where the Horror Howls Louder Than the Guns If you’ve ever watched a spaghetti western and thought, “You know what this needs? Lycanthropy,” Blood Moon is your huckleberry. Jeremy Wooding’s 2014 British Western horror mashup is an absurdly entertaining, blood-splattered love letter to both genres—a film that asks the daring … Read More “Blood Moon (2014): When Cowboys Meet Werewolves and Everyone Needs a Drink” »
Snow, Science, and Sanity—Now With 100% More Moose Anxiety There are horror films that scream at you, and there are horror films that quietly sit beside you, whisper something ancient and unknowable, and let the frostbite set in. Black Mountain Side is the latter—a creeping, cerebral Canadian nightmare where the biggest jump scare might just … Read More “Black Mountain Side (2014): The Thing With Maple Syrup and Existential Dread” »
A Hell of a Good Time—With Closing Costs Nicholas McCarthy’s At the Devil’s Door is the rare horror movie that manages to be creepy, clever, and utterly unhinged all at once—like if The Exorcist had a baby with HGTV’s House Hunters. This isn’t your standard possession flick where some demon just wants a warm body … Read More “At the Devil’s Door (2014): Satan’s Real Estate Deal of the Century” »
Welcome to Hell — Sponsored by GoPro Some horror movies drag you to the edge of your seat. As Above, So Below drags you into the Paris Catacombs and leaves you there to die of secondhand embarrassment. Directed by John Erick Dowdle, this found-footage descent into madness tries to blend archaeology, philosophy, and claustrophobic terror … Read More “As Above, So Below (2014): Dante’s Inferno Meets a Parisian Tourist Trap” »
When Horror Turns to Smurf Soup There are horror films that haunt you, and then there are horror films that make you wish you were being haunted—just so something interesting would happen. Ao Oni (2014), Japan’s cinematic adaptation of the viral RPG Maker game, falls squarely into the latter category. It’s a film so mind-numbingly … Read More “Ao Oni (2014): The Big Blue Blob That Ate My Will to Live” »
Welcome to the Woods — Please Check Logic at the Door Ah, the humble creature feature: that beautiful subgenre where attractive people wander into the woods, ignore every survival instinct, and get devoured by something that looks like it escaped from a Halloween clearance bin. Brett Simmons’ Animal (2014) tries to resurrect this time-honored tradition … Read More “Animal (2014): When the Real Predator Is the Script” »
Welcome to the Grill of Broken Dreams There are bad movies. Then there are Swedish comedy-horror movies about cannibal fast-food empires that massacre American exchange students in the name of hamburgers. American Burger proudly plants its grease-stained flag in the latter category — a cinematic wasteland where humor goes to die, horror forgets to show … Read More “American Burger (2014): A Happy Meal of Horror Without the Happy (or the Meal)” »
Pop Quiz, Horror Fans: How Low Can Slashers Go? If you’ve ever sat through a bad slasher and thought, “Well, at least it can’t get worse than this,” allow me to introduce you to After School Massacre — the cinematic equivalent of getting a D-minus in Film Studies and still handing in your project. Written … Read More “After School Massacre (2014): When Detention Lasts Forever — and So Does the Pain of Watching It” »
Brains? Not in This Script. Some horror movies are so bad, they’re good. Others are so bad, they make you question your life choices, your viewing habits, and possibly the entire concept of cinema. Zombie Massacre — or as it’s known in the UK, Apocalypse Z, because apparently even titles need a disguise — proudly … Read More “Zombie Massacre (2013): When “Massacre” Describes the Audience, Not the Zombies” »
Welcome Back to the Bush, Mate — and Bring a Spare Limb Horror sequels rarely improve on the original. Usually, they just recycle the scares, add a new cast of idiots, and hope nostalgia will do the rest. Wolf Creek 2 didn’t get that memo. Greg McLean’s follow-up to his 2005 outback nightmare is louder, … Read More “Wolf Creek 2 (2013): A Bloody Good Time in the Outback” »