Objects in the Mirror Are Creepier Than They Appear Mike Flanagan’s Oculus is one of those rare horror films that sneaks up on you — not with jump scares, but with existential dread and a creeping suspicion that your IKEA décor might be plotting against you. It’s about an antique mirror, the Lasser Glass, which … Read More “Oculus (2013): A Mirror That Reflects Your Poor Life Choices — and Your Soul” »
There are bad horror movies, and then there are movies so profoundly dull that you start rooting for Hell itself to open up just to end things early. Nothing Left to Fear—directed by Anthony Leonardi III and produced by Guns N’ Roses guitarist Slash (yes, that Slash)—belongs proudly in the second category. It’s a film … Read More “Nothing Left to Fear (2013): The Gateway to Hell… and Mediocrity” »
If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Twister and The Descent had an illegitimate baby raised in a Kansas storm shelter by The Evil Dead, you’re in luck—Nailbiter is that baby, and it’s absolutely unhinged in the best way. Directed by Patrick Rea, this 2013 creature feature asks a simple question: What if the … Read More “Nailbiter (2013): The Midwest Horror Gem That Proves Tornadoes Weren’t Scary Enough” »
Ah, Mr. Jones. The 2013 found-footage horror film that asked the brave question: What if making a pretentious nature documentary accidentally unleashed a cosmic nightmare, and your boyfriend just kept filming anyway? Written and directed by Karl Mueller in his feature debut, it’s the kind of film that begins with two hipsters trying to “find … Read More “Mr. Jones (2013): When Your Indie Documentary Accidentally Summons a Goddamn Forest Demon” »
Guillermo del Toro Presents: Mommy Dearest From the Depths of Hell Ah, Mama. The 2013 supernatural horror movie that reminds us why you should never adopt feral children found in a cabin guarded by a ghost. Directed by Andy Muschietti in his debut feature and hand-delivered to audiences by Guillermo del Toro (the man who … Read More “Mama (2013): When Child Protective Services Meets the Afterlife” »
Careful What You Wish For — Especially If It’s This Movie Somewhere deep in a dusty film vault sits W.W. Jacobs, spinning in his grave fast enough to power a small city. His 1902 short story The Monkey’s Paw was a compact, chilling morality tale about greed, grief, and fate — the kind of horror … Read More “The Monkey’s Paw (2013): Three Wishes, Zero Thrills” »
A Slumber Party Summons the Abyss Ah, the American suburban sleepover — a sacred ritual involving pizza, parental neglect, and the summoning of ancient pagan entities. The Midnight Game, directed by A.D. Calvo, begins with that time-honored premise: bored teenagers, an empty house, and a total disregard for anything resembling self-preservation. Kaitlan (Renee Olstead), our … Read More “The Midnight Game (2013): Teen Angst Meets Occult Idiocy — and It Works” »
Brad Dourif and the Science of Sobriety Through Stabbing There are movies about addiction that tug at your heartstrings. Then there’s Malignant (2013), which grabs your heart, installs a murder chip in it, and dares you to take another drink. Written and directed by Brian Avenet-Bradley, this low-budget gem proves that sometimes, the best cure … Read More “Malignant (2013): The AA Meeting From Hell” »
Porn, Paranoia, and a Perfectly Awkward Bloodbath Every so often, a movie slithers out of the cinematic gutter, drenched in sleaze, sweat, and self-awareness, and somehow ends up being… good. Lucky Bastard (2013), the directorial debut of Robert Nathan, is that film. Imagine Boogie Nightsand Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer having a deeply uncomfortable … Read More “Lucky Bastard (2013): The NC-17 Found Footage Film That Proves Karma Wears a GoPro” »
The Further? More Like The Filler. You know you’re in trouble when a horror sequel starts feeling less like a descent into supernatural madness and more like an overlong family reunion featuring the world’s least interesting ghosts. Insidious: Chapter 2, directed by James Wan, is the cinematic equivalent of finding out your haunted house is … Read More “Insidious: Chapter 2 (2013): The Horror Movie That Forgot It’s a Ghost Story and Became a Soap Opera With Demons” »