Tasmanian Tiger, Meet Tasmanian Trash There’s an old rule in horror: never go looking for something that’s been extinct for over a century. But apparently, no one told the cast of Dying Breed — a 2008 Australian horror film that manages to combine animal conservation, cannibalism, and the worst vacation in cinematic history into one … Read More “Dying Breed (2008): A Culinary Catastrophe of Cannibalism and Confusion” »
A Mockbuster from Hell Every once in a while, The Asylum—the bargain-bin necromancer of cinema—raises its twisted hand and drags a corpse of an idea from Hollywood’s graveyard, slapping it onto DVD shelves with a title that sounds just similar enough to trick your grandma. In 2008, the victim was Paul W.S. Anderson’s Death Race. … Read More “Death Racers (2008): The Clown Car Crashes and Everyone Dies, Including Cinema” »
Lights, Camera, Murder! Ah, Dark Reel — the 2008 horror-comedy that asked, “What if Hollywood made a slasher about Hollywood being a slasher?” Directed by Josh Eisenstadt, this gleefully unhinged love letter to B-movies and broken dreams stars Edward Furlong, Tiffany Shepis, Lance Henriksen, and Tony Todd, among others. It’s part ghost story, part murder … Read More “Dark Reel (2008): A Bloody Valentine to Horror Fans Everywhere” »
When Sci-Fi Met the Wild West (and Both Regretted It) There are bad movies, and then there are SyFy movies—the kind that make you question not just the script, but your own life choices for pressing play. Copperhead (2008) slithered out of the Sci Fi Channel’s stable during that glorious era when the network was … Read More “Copperhead (2008): A Western So Bad It Should’ve Stayed in the Snake Pit” »
The £45 Apocalypse There are low-budget movies, and then there’s Colin, a British zombie film made for the princely sum of £45—roughly the cost of a round of drinks in London or a single cinema ticket with popcorn. Directed, written, and edited by Marc Price, Colin became the underdog darling of 2008’s horror scene, lauded … Read More “Colin (2008): The Little Zombie Movie That Should’ve Stayed Dead” »
Welcome to the Closet of Cosmic Horror There are two kinds of horror films: the polished Hollywood kind that makes you afraid to sleep with the lights off, and the scrappy low-budget kind that makes you afraid for the filmmakers. Closet Space (2008), directed by Mel House, proudly falls into the latter category—and it’s glorious. … Read More “Closet Space (2008): A Lovecraftian Horror That’s Equal Parts Tentacles, Texas, and Terrific Trash” »
The Cult That Should’ve Stayed Hidden Some horror films leave you terrified, sleepless, and questioning your faith in humanity. Bryan Loves You leaves you questioning your faith in filmmaking. Written, directed, and starred in by Seth Landau—a man whose ambition outpaced his budget, cast, and possibly his sanity—this 2008 found-footage horror film tries to expose … Read More “Bryan Loves You (2008): A Found Footage Film That Proves Love Isn’t the Only Thing Blind” »
Digging Up the Dead… and the Script Sometimes a movie comes along that’s so aggressively mediocre it loops back around to being art. Bone Eater (2008), a Syfy original directed and written by B-movie legend Jim Wynorski, is one such masterpiece of unintentional comedy. Imagine if Jurassic Park, Poltergeist, and a bad PSA about respecting … Read More “Bone Eater (2008): A Cinematic Catastrophe So Dry It Could Be a Fossil” »
The Battle of the Budget Every once in a while, a film comes along that redefines cinema. Battle of the Bone is not that film. Written and directed by George Clarke, this 2008 Northern Irish “kung-fu zombie movie” is the kind of ambitious catastrophe that makes you appreciate the concept of professional standards. Marketed proudly … Read More “Battle of the Bone (2008): Northern Ireland’s First Kung-Fu Zombie Movie, and Hopefully Its Last” »
The Devil Went Down to Savannah There are bad horror movies, and then there’s Baby Blues—a film so profoundly unpleasant, so artistically tone-deaf, it feels like a public service announcement directed by Satan. Co-directed by Lars Jacobson and Amar Kaleka, this 2008 psychological horror film claims to be “loosely based” on the Andrea Yates tragedy, … Read More “Baby Blues (2008): A Movie So Bleak It Makes Postpartum Depression Look Like a Spa Day” »