If you’ve ever wondered what it would look like if someone took Con Air, drowned it in swamp water, and then replaced Nic Cage with a giant, pissed-off reptile, Crocodile 2: Death Swamp has the answer: a cinematic crime scene. Directed by Gary Jones and released directly to DVD (where, frankly, it belongs, and even … Read More “Crocodile 2: Death Swamp (2002)” »
There are some movies so bad, you watch them and wonder if they were actually part of a secret CIA experiment to test the endurance of the human brain. Death Factory (2002) is one of those movies. Written and directed by Brad Sykes, this cinematic landfill fire features six teenagers, an abandoned chemical plant, and … Read More “Death Factory (2002)” »
Let’s get one thing straight: when a movie calls itself Darkness, it’s setting a pretty high bar. You expect something menacing, something oppressive, something that makes you fear turning off your nightlight. Instead, Jaume Balagueró’s Darkness gives us…a two-hour advertisement for Spanish electricians. If you’ve ever thought to yourself, Gee, I wish I could watch … Read More “Darkness: The Horror of Watching the Lights Flicker for Two Hours” »
Sometimes you stumble across a movie so ahead of its time that you want to stand up and applaud. Other times, you stumble across a movie that makes you wish time itself would hurry up and end the suffering. The Collingswood Story is both. Touted as the “first screenlife horror film,” it’s the great-great-grandparent of … Read More “Webcam of Doom: The Collingswood Story and the Horror of Watching Paint Dry Over Dial-Up” »
There are movies that age like fine wine. Then there are movies that age like milk left out on the beach in Copacabana. Blame It on Rio is somehow both. Directed by Stanley Donen (yes, the man behind Singin’ in the Rain—clearly testing how far a reputation can stretch), this 1984 sex comedy is one … Read More “Sunburnt Morality: Why Blame It on Rio (1984) is the Best Midlife Crisis You’ll Ever Watch” »
Bobbie Phillips was born on January 29, 1968, in Charleston, South Carolina. She displayed an interest in performing from a young age, even appearing in local stage musicals as a child in her hometown. At age 22, Phillips moved to Hollywood in 1990 to pursue acting, bringing with her a background in modeling and fitness. … Read More “Bobbie Phillips: A Versatile Journey in Film and Television” »
By the time Gregory Scott Daves—better known inside the ropes as Cincinnati Red—took his last bump, his fingerprints were all over Southern California wrestling. Not in the glossy, pyrotechnic-laden way Vince McMahon would brag about, but in the quiet, gritty reality of the indie scene: the VFW halls, the high school gyms, and the converted … Read More “Cincinnati Red: The Man Who Bled for the Indies” »
Some horror movies are bad in a fun way. You pop some popcorn, grab a six-pack, and laugh as teenagers trip over garden hoses while being chased by a guy in a Dollar Tree mask. Then there’s The Backlot Murders, a film so profoundly stupid it makes you wonder if the Elvis impersonator killer wasn’t … Read More “The Backlot Murders (2002) – The King is Dead, and He’s Taking This Movie With Him” »
If you’ve ever shaved your legs, face, or armpits and thought, Wow, this is tedious, then spare a thought for poor Tara in Wolf Girl. She’s got hypertrichosis—the “werewolf syndrome” where your face basically tells Gillette to go bankrupt. Played with heartbreaking ferocity by Victoria Sanchez, Tara is the circus’s cash cow, the “Wolf Girl” … Read More “Wolf Girl (2001) – The Hairy Truth About Beauty, Beasts, and Bullies” »
Horror cinema has blessed us with many masks: Ghostface, Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees. Then there’s Valentine’s Cupid mask—imagine a dollar-store cherub who failed art school, spray-painted his cheeks, and decided murder was cheaper than therapy. That’s the villain here. A killer with a nosebleed problem and the charisma of a wet sponge, stabbing his way … Read More “Valentine (2001) – Cupid’s Stupid Revenge” »
