Some movies are so bad they become cult curiosities. Others are so bad they just sit on the shelf collecting dust, the cinematic equivalent of a thrift store sweater. And then there’s NBC’s 2002 Carrie—a two-hour TV movie that wanted to be a prestige event but ended up feeling like an afterschool special directed by … Read More “Carrie (2002) – Angela Bettis Saves a Bloody Mess” »
Every culture has its cursed hotline: Americans have 1-900-Evil, the Japanese have killer VHS tapes, and Thailand got stuck with 999-9999, a horror movie so desperate to be spooky that it accidentally calls itself collect. Directed by Peter Manus, this Thai horror flick tries to mix teenage pranks, Final Destination–style deaths, and a dash of … Read More “999-9999 (2002) – Wrong Number, Wrong Movie” »
The Wishmaster franchise was already a niche carnival ride by the time we got to part three. The first film had Andrew Divoff chewing scenery like it was an all-you-can-eat buffet, hamming it up as the Djinn and making bad puns fun. The second film doubled down on schlock but at least kept the engine … Read More “Wishmaster 3: Beyond the Gates of Hell (2001) – Be Careful What You Wish For, Especially if It’s This Movie” »
There are low-budget horror movies, and then there’s Unseen Evil. A 2001 supernatural “thriller” that feels like it was stitched together with duct tape, expired pizza coupons, and the lingering smell of a Blockbuster liquidation bin, this movie proves that not everything with Richard Hatch’s face on the VHS deserves to be rented. The title … Read More “Unseen Evil (2001) – The Horror You Can’t See… Because It’s Too Cheap to Film” »
Guillermo del Toro’s Love Letter to Leather, Gore, and Sunglasses at Night If Blade (1998) was the goth kid at your high school who wore a trench coat in July, Blade II is that same kid, but now he’s been to art school, discovered Guillermo del Toro, and can actually fight. This sequel takes everything … Read More “Blade II (2002)” »
The Day the Chimps Ruined England Danny Boyle’s 28 Days Later opens with animal rights activists breaking into a lab to free caged chimpanzees. Noble cause? Sure. Execution? Disastrous. Instead of rescuing cute little primates, they unleash Rage, a virus that turns people into sprinting maniacs in about ten seconds flat. Somewhere, PETA is still … Read More “28 Days Later (2002)” »
A Deer, a Cabin, and a Cannibal Spirit Walk into Upstate New York Larry Fessenden’s Wendigo is one of those films that critics love to call “polarizing.” Translation: half the audience walked out thinking they’d seen a haunting piece of indie horror with brains, and the other half just wanted to strangle the nearest deer … Read More “Wendigo (2001)” »
Cannibalism, But Make It Boring If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “You know what erotic horror needs? More nap-inducing scenes of Vincent Gallo brooding in a hotel room”, then congratulations—Claire Denis made a movie just for you. Trouble Every Day is marketed as part of the “New French Extremity” movement, which usually means violence, sex, … Read More “Trouble Every Day (2001)” »
If you’ve ever thought, “What if Das Boot, but with ghosts and a script co-written by Darren Aronofsky on Ambien?”—congratulations, you’ve just described Below. Directed by David Twohy (the guy who gave us Pitch Black), this 2002 submarine supernatural horror flick manages to sink faster than the very U-boat it obsesses over. With a cast … Read More “Below (2002): The Haunted Submarine Nobody Asked For” »
There are many things the Pine Barrens of New Jersey have produced: cranberry bogs, mob dumping grounds, Bruce Springsteen songs, and enough urban legends to fuel every campfire story east of the Delaware. What it didn’t need, however, was 13th Child, a direct-to-video atrocity that somehow manages to make the legendary Jersey Devil about as … Read More “13th Child (2002) – The Jersey Devil Deserved Better” »