There’s something to be said for a film that takes genetically engineered rattlesnakes, Middle Eastern terrorists, an earthquake, a government conspiracy, and Treat Williams, throws them all into a blender, and somehow comes out with a movie that’s not just watchable, but weirdly delightful. Venomous is one of those rare direct-to-video disasters that shouldn’t work, … Read More “Venomous (2001) – When Snakes, Viruses, and B-Movies Collide” »
Ah, Tomie: Re-Birth, the third cinematic attempt to capture Junji Ito’s endlessly regenerating femme fatale, and proof that some franchises should probably be left buried in the woods with their art-student boyfriends. Directed by Takashi Shimizu (the same guy who later gave us The Grudge and probably made more money off one creepy throat noise … Read More “Tomie: Re-Birth (2001) – A Horror Sequel So Repetitive It Feels Like the Film Regenerates Out of Its Own Corpse” »
There are bad horror movies, and then there are bad horror movies that cost $42 million dollars, star Tony Shalhoub, and still feel cheaper than the props at Spirit Halloween. Thir13en Ghosts (or Thirteen Ghosts or, if you’re edgy, THIR13EN GHO5TS) is a film so spectacularly dumb it makes you nostalgic for the 1960 William … Read More “Thir13en Ghosts – Glass Houses, Dumb Choices, and 13 Wasted Opportunities” »
There are a lot of bad mermaid movies out there—cheap fantasy dreck where the scaly lady either sings, seduces, or makes dolphin noises while some dude in a pirate shirt tries to rescue her. She Creature is not one of those. It’s a horror story with fins, gills, teeth, and just enough atmosphere to make … Read More “She Creature (2001) – When the Mermaid Bites Back” »
You know a movie is in trouble when its big special effects set pieces are literally stock footage from another movie. Enter Raptor (2001), a film so lazy it doesn’t just phone it in—it steals someone else’s phone, pockets their minutes, and still leaves you with the bill. Directed by Jim Wynorski (a man who … Read More “Raptor (2001) – When Roger Corman Cloned Dinosaurs and Shame” »
There are sequels, and then there’s Mimic 2, a film that scuttled out of the direct-to-DVD bargain bin like the cockroach-human hybrid it desperately wants you to take seriously. Directed by Jean de Segonzac, whose name sounds like a Bond villain but whose direction screams “Tuesday night on UPN,” this follow-up to Guillermo del Toro’s … Read More “Mimic 2 – The Bug Nobody Asked For” »
Sometimes, cinema gives us horror masterpieces like The Devil’s Backbone. Other times, it vomits up a made-for-TV spider smoothie like Earth vs. the Spider. Directed by Scott Ziehl and starring a cast that ranges from “oh, I’ve seen him somewhere” (Devon Gummersall) to “wait, Dan Aykroyd, what are you doing here?” this 2001 Cinemax special … Read More “Earth vs. the Spider (2001) – When Spandex Dreams Go Arachnid” »
Guillermo del Toro’s The Devil’s Backbone is what happens when you hand gothic horror to someone who actually gives a damn about history, politics, and human misery. It’s a ghost story, yes, but it’s also a Spanish Civil War drama, a coming-of-age tale, and—if you’re into interior design—a lesson on how to accessorize your orphanage … Read More “The Devil’s Backbone (2001) – The Best Ghost Story with Bomb Decor” »
There’s a fine line between a horror anthology and a really long, really confused music video. Cradle of Fear doesn’t just cross that line—it moshes over it, spills beer on it, and then spends two hours screaming “SATAN” while you wonder if you left your laundry in the dryer. Directed by Alex Chandon and starring … Read More “Cradle of Fear (2001) – Rock Videos Shouldn’t Try to Be Movies” »
War horror movies can be terrifying. Claustrophobic trenches, creeping paranoia, ghosts of the past—literally and metaphorically—haunting soldiers who already look one bullet away from a nervous breakdown. But then you watch The Bunker (2001) and realize sometimes the real horror isn’t war, or ghosts, or even Nazis—it’s enduring 95 minutes of beige corridors and Germans … Read More “The Bunker (2001) – War Is Hell, But This Movie Is Worse” »