When Snoop Dogg Met Scooby-Doo Meets Scooby-Don’t Every generation deserves its own version of Dracula, Candyman, or Leprechaun in the Hood. In 2001, cinema blessed us with Bones, a supernatural horror film starring Snoop Dogg as Jimmy Bones: part neighborhood protector, part pimp messiah, part revenge-fueled corpse who really likes dogs. Directed by Ernest Dickerson, … Read More “Bones (2001)” »
Welcome to the Attic, Please Leave Your Brain at the Door The Attic Expeditions is the kind of movie that makes you wonder if someone dropped the script in a blender, taped the shreds back together with duct tape, and then asked Alice Cooper and Ted Raimi to show up for the paycheck. This 2001 … Read More “The Attic Expeditions (2001)” »
Spiraling Down the Drain Uzumaki, based on Junji Ito’s manga masterpiece, should have been the cinematic equivalent of a fever dream: grotesque, disturbing, and unforgettable. Instead, it feels like someone filmed a high school theater class inside a laundromat and called it “art.” Spirals may be hypnotic, but this movie will not put you in … Read More “Uzumaki (2000)” »
Welcome to Maine: Come for the Lobster, Stay for the Organ-Liquefying Cockroaches “They Nest” (a.k.a. Creepy Crawlers, because sometimes honesty really is the best title) is one of those late-night, straight-to-SyFy-before-SyFy-was-SyFy horror flicks that asks the daring question: what if cockroaches weren’t gross enough already? The answer: give them pincers, make them burrow into your … Read More “They Nest (2000)” »
When Sharks Attack… Logic, Acting, and Your Sanity There are bad shark movies, and then there are shark movies so bad they make you nostalgic for the documentary footage of a seal being ripped apart on Discovery Channel. Shark Attack 2 lands firmly in the latter camp: an 88-minute direct-to-video fever dream where mutant great … Read More “Shark Attack 2 (2000)” »
There are haunted house movies, and then there’s Sorum—a haunted tenement movie where the ghosts aren’t so much rattling chains as they are rattling off everyone’s childhood traumas. Directed by Yoon Jong-chan in his feature debut, this South Korean dirge masquerading as a horror film proves that sometimes the scariest thing isn’t a poltergeist or … Read More “Sorum (2001) – Apartment 504: Now With More Trauma Than Square Footage” »
Slashers are funny things. Sometimes they’re sleek, witty, and clever—like Scream. Other times, they’re lumbering messes with a killer who looks like he raided Spirit Halloween during a blackout. Ripper: Letter from Hell somehow lands right in between: clumsy, over-the-top, but surprisingly entertaining if you lean into its madness. This Canadian-made, gothic-lite bloodbath tries to … Read More “Ripper: Letter from Hell – A Bloody Good Time” »
There are bad movies, and then there are movies that feel like they crawled out of an Icelandic bog, got drunk on fermented shark, and asked politely if they could waste two hours of your life. No Such Thing is firmly in the latter camp. Hal Hartley, indie darling of the ‘90s, took one look … Read More “No Such Thing (2001) – The Monster That Killed My Will to Live” »
There are bad sequels, there are disappointing sequels, and then there’s Hannibal. A movie that somehow managed to take the legacy of The Silence of the Lambs—a film so airtight and iconic it could double as a pressure cooker—and inflate it into a grotesque parade of opera, pig farms, and brain tapas. Ridley Scott, fresh … Read More “Hannibal (2001) – Or How to Ruin a Good Fava Bean Buzz” »
Every once in a while, a horror movie sneaks up on you—not because it’s a masterpiece, but because it knows exactly what it is. The Forsaken (2001) is one of those rare beasts: part vampire flick, part road movie, and part MTV fever dream drenched in sweat, desert dust, and enough early-2000s leather to clothe … Read More “The Forsaken (2001) – Vampires, Road Trips, and SPF Zero” »